my son's wedding

Glad you're going wolfie, it's the right choice

Welcome wolfie - go.

Our eldest son was living in Japan when he got married and, although none of our other children could go, we are so glad that Dh and I went to the wedding and spent time seeing the country. Less that a year later we were back there when he became seriously ill.

I would go but nanaej has written exactly how I feel.

Well first of all i would like to thank you all for your input and it seems unanimous that you all think i should go to jamaica and let my house fall down but no on a serious note the gaffa and me will be going to the wedding and i just hope my youngest son gets married around the corner from us when its his turn.

We were in a similar situation four years ago when my son said he was getting married in abroad. DH was then on dialysis and although there are facilities to dialyse abroad he was apprehensive about doing so. DIL went behind our backs and discussed the situation with a member of the dialysis team who should have known better. We were absolutely furious as it was in our opinion a breach of confidence. It caused DH to have a massive argument with DIL and a rift between DS1 and myself. I was heartbroken as I would have liked to have gone to the wedding (although I didn't relish the thought of being marooned on an island with the outlaws) but if I had done so I would have felt terribly disloyal to DH and I felt I had to put him first.

DHs health took a turn for the worse so even had he changed his mind he would have been unable to go and I felt unable to leave him.

I really do think if it had been one of DILs parents in a similar situation she wouldn't have considered getting married abroad.

The atmosphere between us all was a bit tense for a while but we have all moved on since.

I had to miss my sons wedding last year as my DDH suffered a cardiac arrest followed by 6 weeks in ICU with pneumonia. There was no way I could leave his bedside to go to my sons wedding. The wedding was only 10 days after the cardiac arrest and my DDH was so poorly. My son seemed to understand and said that my place was with his stepdad but did write me a nasty letter a couple of weeks later which I refused to read. We are OK now and have put it behind us. I would only be able to go to Jamaica if I could afford it. Of course if money was no problem then I would go. Critical illness would be the only thing to prevent me I think.

wolfie hello.... go to the wedding if it takes a bit longer to do the house so what, I couldnt miss my Sons wedding for anything, the house will still be there.

Hello, wolfie! I agree with the majority here - you would be so sorry if you didn't go, no matter where the wedding was.

I had a similar dilemma when one of my daughter's got married abroad. We went to the wedding and although we didn't enjoy the country and it cost much, much more than any 'holiday' we've had before or since, we wouldn't have missed it for the world.

I think you should go to the wedding, the alternative could be the cold shoulder for a very long time.

Where in Jamaica is the wedding?

Oh dear! My last post should have said "I am sure you will regret it if you don't go". Kind of changes the meaning!!

I would go to Jamaica..but I'd be a bit fed up! Personally think long haul overseas weddings (unless bride is from Jamaica) are a bit of a cheek.. puts people in a quandary such as it has for you because you want to be there but money can only be spent once!

Different if happy couple are millionaires and fly guests out to a hotel!

nanapug yes i would love to go but funds are running low and this is not a cheap trip.i am trying to get money matters in order be for i retire.

Wouldn't miss my son's wedding for the sake of refurbishing a house! Different if you genuinely cannot afford it. You will have lovely memories and so will he. Go for it or I am sure you will regret it.

Jamaica every time,you will regret it if you don't go.By the time you add up what you would spend over here on the wedding there will be very little difference,we are making booking's now for September for our son's wedding and with Hotel's/car's/table settings/flowers/etc taken into consideration I wish they where going away to get married with a wedding package and mr.glamma and I could just fly in and relax for a week.

Excuse me asking wolfie56, but is it really that you want to do the house or is that a teeny bit of an excuse as you are not keen on the idea of a trip to Jamaica? Apologies if I am reading between the lines incorrectly, but I felt that could be your thinking. IMHO, if you really want to go then Ella46 is right, it will be there when you are dead and gone, but if it is a good excuse perhaps you need to think about how you would feel on the actual day if you were not there xx

Jamaica!

Don't like Jamaica!

Jamaica without a doubt. I don't think you will find too many on here who would prefer doing up a house to going to son's wedding in Jamaica.

Welcome.

Welcome Wolie. Definitely Jamaica!

I agree - go to Jamaica. My son also got married abroad and both sets of parents and siblings of the bride and groom went. We had a great time together and got to know her relatives better and generally had a lovely time.

so far its jamaica 3 house 0

I agree - you'd regret it if you didn't go!

Welcome wolfie I would choose Jamaica. The house restoration can be put on hold, whereas the wedding is a special occasion that you would be sorry to miss.