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Buying a bride

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Grannyknot Wed 01-May-13 22:32:40

A male colleague from another team in my office has for some weeks now been excitedly looking forward to when his Ukrainian wife arrives as he hasn't seen her for many months, he has been sorting out visas etc.

I'd been happily discussing and making conversation about it with him when another colleague told me I was naive because he had 'found a bride on the internet' which had never occurred to me. Got me thinking - they've been married since 2009, they're much the same age (I've seen photos), they seem very happy, she's a well educated working woman and so is he. So it's a win-win situation, isn't it? Bit like internet dating but cutting to the chase.

Then I remembered a film I saw years ago, can't remember the name of it, where a logger or tracker or some such man in a remote US region ordered a wife from a catalogue and the shenanigans when she arrived in this outpost because she was feisty etc. - of course it had a happy ending because their sparring turned to grudging mutual respect which turned to love. And then I thought - so what's new?

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Grannyknot Wed 01-May-13 22:33:27

Or perhaps that should be "cutting out the chase"! smile

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Enviousamerican Wed 01-May-13 23:03:25

I think there are good and bad outcomes from these parings.Just like any other marriages. As long as people are careful and honest with each other.The ladies are attractive and intelligent and don't have the opportunities for a successful life like other countries offer.

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MrsJamJam Thu 02-May-13 07:24:23

DIY arranged marriage? If both parties are honest and open about their expectations, no reason whynit shouldn't be just as successful as one based on 'lurve'.

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absent Thu 02-May-13 08:04:40

If a man is truly buying a bride, then the relationship starts off on an unequal footing. Heaven knows there are already enough men in this world who think they own their wives/partners. What happens if he doesn't like being married to her – can he send her home and demand his money back?

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Gorki Thu 02-May-13 08:31:08

I think it depends a lot upon nationality. I used to meet quite a few of these internet brides in the course of my work and to make a sweeping generalisation which may or may not be valid, I would say that the feisty Russian ones were much happier than the demure Thais who had a greater problem with the language anyway.

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Stansgran Thu 02-May-13 10:29:37

I stop have come across Internet brides and I feel the opposite in that because there is the ability for google to translate the page a false idea of the other persons ability to communicate. I met one Russian bride who wore designer clothes although the husband was a factory worker . She already had had two husbands in Russia and I think the poor chap was simply a stepping stone. The other end of the scale a young Chinese woman who never married the man who "sent "for her, found that it was a father / son arrangement and was distraught (with very poor language skills) that they had decided to send her back after a year as they were sending for another one.

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Stansgran Thu 02-May-13 10:30:07

Also not stop sorry

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