Do you have any crazy sayings?

Faffing about like a fart in a colander that doesn't know which hole to go out of. A version of "a blue arsed fly.

The thing in Annie's room was usually behind the clock, too.

I think sweet Fanny Adams was a real girl who was murdered and cut up.

Oooohhhh! Have just googled that and found an account in Wikipedia and another on Hantsweb

Madder than a wet hen

I didn't come up the Avon on a push bike (I'm not stupid)

Blimey talk about getting your eyes open !

Anyone easily offended don't open!

www.peevish.co.uk/slang/f.htm

Sweet fanny Adams (nothing at all or sweet F&&k All)

Face like a slapped arse

Face pubes (attempt at a beard)

I used to like fossilised fish-hooks when I was young, legacy of listening to Jennings and Derbyshire on children's hour.

I also was thinking about sayings this morning and wondering how long it would be before people wonder why we say to 'dial a number' (when was the last time you saw a phone with a dial?) Also 'spend a penny' for a visit to the loo.? Anyone think of any more?

I thought it was "in and out like a fiddlers elbow" but could be wrong.

I sometimes use "about as much chance as plaiting snot" and one of my best bosses ever, who was very "Scouse" if asked for something above and beyond, would reply "Oh yeah? About as much chance as me swimmin' up the Mersey with a cooker on me back"

It was the way she pronounced "cooker" that got me!

Sir Les Patterson (Barry Humphries) would say 'a fart in a phonebox'.

Gally, I think that hells bells and buckets of blood is a Scottish expression. I used it a lot during my teenage years and later.

Going off it like a frog in a sock.

You are one sandwich short of a picnic.

Monkeys arse is a firm favourite of mine too Greatnan

If there were dark clouds in the sky my father used to say "It's very black over Bill's house"

If someone was continually wingeing my DH would say "Well everyone's got their own bucket of s**t to carry"

If exasperated by something I usually say "Ye gods and little fishes"

I do like "foggiest fart", think that will find its way into my vocabulary!

Oh, I thought it was rats arse or monkey toss...about that! Buffalo is a good go to word in our house. As in... did he buffalo! I don't give a buffalo! Pure nonsense

Faffing around like a fart in a bottle.
I couldn't give a monkey's arse about that.

ninathenana My mother used to say much the same thing but the other way round –airy pud and windy pie.

She would also reply to the question "Does anyone know where my [missing object] is?" with "Up in Annie's room".

Hells, bells and buckets of blood. I think it came from a book when I was a child ?Blue Door Theatre?

I used the expression 'much of a muchness' this morning, meaning 'much the same' and thought to myself that it makes no sense really.

I actually used that once at school - and students said 'oh Mrs C, you can't say that?' 'Why not, nothing rude there?'

Turned out I'd understood it to be 'I can't be asked' - as in 'nobody can ask me to do that!'. They told me to ask my daughters - I did at dinner and they thought it was hilarious live and learn hey!

gilly no one I know would faint at 'foggiest fart'. I will be using it extensively from now on Oh and 'can't be arsed', yup, use that a lot which I consider indicative of a lazy nature.

"Wandering around like a fart in a trance"

"Up and down like a whores drawers". Polite version is 'up and down like a fiddlers elbow'.

" When Nelson gets his eye back".

How about "as welcome as a fart in a space suit* !

I followed a van into work today with the registration number:

TH05 POT I kid you not ! I strained my eyes but couldn't see the driver!

One I've picked up from our SIL who does the cooking in his house when asked what's for dinner he will often reply "air pie an windy pudding"

I too use "blue arsed fly" or "flea on a dog's bum"

Yes I believe it is from Winnie the Pooh Pittcity

Yes I rather like "Foggiest Fart" too Sel but that can sometimes come across as offensive to those who have a more "sensitive" nature.

Couldn't be arsed is another firm favourite of mine.

Using slightly rude expressions is easier if you are a furiner- as people forgive you for not being fully aware of meaning (which is not the case here, lol). I like 'arse over tits' and also 'shits and farts' (for fits and starts).