Grandparents' Revenge!

Agreed Nellie I was firm with my sons regarding manners and good behaviour NO always meant exactly that and I'm the same with my grandchildren, we also have a lot of fun and laughter and when it's time to go home DG always says "not yet Nanna I love being here".

I do indulge her with treats, that's my prerogative but for the larger treats I do ask her parents first.

Spoiling GCs does not have to mean letting them get away with very bad behaviour. Just providing extra treats that might not be approved of at home.
I am waiting for mine to grow up a bit more on more so I can spoil him.

That's what it is all about. I TRY to follow in the parents' footsteps but regularly fail.

mollie I agree with you 100% and am always accused of permitting grandaughters (5 & 2 years old) of doing what I never permitted daughter (their mum) to do, or her brother (son) for that matter. Similarly I remember chastisising my parents for doing exacty the same to my children. The cycle is a never ending one but refusing the grandparents to babysit, to me at least, smells of the child being used as a commodity for the benefit of the parents and perhaps not enough consideration given to the childs wellbeing.
I'm all in favour of an upbringing which instills values and self discipline together with responsibility for actions taken but it needs to be interspersed with wild abandon and disregard which is where grandparents can come in to supply the balance. The child soon learns that Mum & Dad must be obeyed so homework needs to be done etc. and looks forward to a trip to grandads to have a whale of a time. I consider it all part of a rounded upbringing which in my humble opinion establishes and enforces right and wrong, lays down border lines and encourages self expression. Grandparents are perhaps better suited to raising children as they would have learnt by their own mistakes. Sadly our own children did not come with an instruction manual!

Was it a 'Freudian slip' when, teenagers can be little 'gits' sometimes

Should say 'got' not git! Blinkin' iPad!

I've git a 13 year old grandson like that, Merlot. In between behaving like Kevin the Teenager, he has moments of brilliance, but as soon as he is asked a question, or an assumption is made that he still likes pasta because he did last week, he morphs into a mumbling hoodie who has suddenly gone deaf!

My little GS loves hearing stories of naughty things that his dad did when he was little. As my DS was rather a pain in the neck, there is plenty of material, and I do feel a certain amount of satisfaction in telling these tales.

When our fifteen year old grandson stays with us he's entertaining, helpful, chatty and loves to discuss politics and history. As soon as his mum (DD1) arrives to pick him up he reverts to monosyllabic teenage grunts.

"What happens at granny's stays at granny's"

This is nothing new. My two were like that years ago, whenever they stayed with my mum and dad they were very spoilt, and for the first couple of days back home they were little monsters. I think it's definitely payback time, and if I spoil my grandchildren a bit, well isn't that in the grandparents' job description? Of course, even when they are with us there are still boundaries, but a little spoiling never hurt anyone.

I'm with Aka and Lilygran, our GCs behave perfectly well when they are with us, we all eat together round the dining room table, they are not cheeky or rude. They do as they are asked, like tidying toys, cleaning teeth etc and then the minute the parents arrive the youngest starts whining and generally a pain. His sister will go very quiet and develop the most amazing selective deafness when asked to tidy her room etc. Much prefer to have them without the parents and we have never been told that they have been spoilt rotten with us.

Aka yes, we have that experience too.

My GC are usually well behaved when I look after them, but the minute their parents arrive ....does this happen to other GNutters?

We regularly have our GDs to stay. I always check if there are any new 'rules' or things to keep an eye on when they come. We wouldn't dream of letting them do anything that's forbidden at home, it wouldn't be fair on the children. We do indulge them of course but we'd never let them be rude or cheeky.

How long will that last? A friend used to say about being a grandparent,'It's payback time!'. We wouldn't dream of doing anything we knew their parents actively forbade but when you're in charge, hey, you're in charge!