Do you 'like' all your friends?

In reply to the op - I did!

I think we all know people like that, - I just tend to let them get on with it as its a sort of lack of self esteem I think that makes people boast, it can be infuriating at times, but best to count to ten.

I find the worst are people , who when you are telling them something, always pipe in with 'the same thing happened to me, but ten times worse'... a girl I work with was talking about problems with her ex, who suffered terrible PSTD after serving in Sierra Leone and Iraq, when our other colleague chipped in with 'Oh I had awful PSTD following a difficult birth............'

Yes, that helps nanej. I suppose I've never tried to define it before, think it is one of those things you just know when you come across it. It does tend to be those same people who don't give you a chance to get a word in during a conversation.

Moved i think boasting is when a person talks about something they are proud about in the hope of praise and to boost their esteem. Often without the sensitivity to notice it might be upsetting/hurtful/put down to those listening. Also not properly acknowledging others' similar achievements.

e.g 'My GS was 'man of the match' for the 300th time this season, he is so briliant , coach thinks best since sliced bread etc etc' and then not noticing that the other person's GC has a physical disability but has just won an award for art! Does that make sense!

I was always taught that it was vulgar to talk about money and to boast and I hope I don't do either Bags but I'm not sure where the line between keeping people informed and boasting is? In one way it is almost as bad to keep one's family's achievements secret as to tell people. Don't think I'm good at explaining this so will give one example. Recently my DS was interviewed for a newspaper which printed a whole page about him. I told the people who would be interested but if I hadn't and they had seen it or been told about it they would have been hurt that I hadn't told them. Perhaps the secret is who we tell?

I have just realised that I don't have any friends like that, we all have far too many other interests to talk about and although families are mentioned it's usually only in passing. However I do remember my grandmother being annoyed by a friend of hers who did the same thing. As my grandmother had always been brought up to think that boasting was just awful, she found it very hard to sit there and listen, as she couldn't bring herself to retaliate.

I have some close friends who I value and love but they are not perfect and sometimes they can be irritating! I guess I am to them too but our friendship is strong enough to overcome these niggles! I have found irritations are more noticable as we have got older..is it our behaviour changing or having more time to notice??

You're right, moved. It is often a personal thing. I was brought up to regard talk about money and spending large amounts of it to be in bad taste. My parents wanted us to be more interested in ideas than material things – which is not to say I'm not interested in material things, but people's 'materiality' (no, it isn't a word... well, not until now anyhow!) is not usually, if ever, what's important about them to me. I do find flashiness about money, whether deliberate or not, distasteful.

I wonder how we define 'boasting'? I do want to know about the genuine successes and happy things which happen to my friends and their families. Is it the manner in which they say it which annoys? Is it when they have something we don't have and we are perhaps not admitting to ourselves that we are just a little envious? It is such a personal thing, what may sound like boasting to one might sound like informing to another. How will I know the difference?

I was very good friends with a boss and his family when he bought his daughter a very nice car for her 17th, I helped him with the surprise. I didn't think he was doing anything he shouldn't, nor that he would be boasting if he told anyone. He wasn't bankrupting himself to do it, and was doing it for her not to show off.

...that's right...I have my uses!

It's certainly useful to have a friend who does that, soop!

...and I like jings because she makes me appear 'sane'

Bags ...own up, you like me because I make you appear 'sane'...

I've thunk about this for a day and decided that, yes, I do like all my friends. However, I don't like them all the same or for the same reasons, but they wouldn't be friends if I didn't like them for what I do like them for (getting tongue tied yet?).

If someone 'got up my nose' I wouldn't regard them as a friend – just an (annoying) acquaintance. I'd probably avoid them where possible.

I Have friend who have known since our children were young but my interests are so different but we still share our s a views together and have coffee together but she drives me crackers with her mobile texting all the time to Oh and daughte rI took a photo of her sitting on the steps whilst having lunch and she just laughed, for all her little ways I would miss her so if were not friends

I had a friend who would ask you how your children were getting on and as you opened your mouth to reply was already into a lengthy description of the doings of her amazing children.

I like all my friends because I am not a person who remains friends with everybody, the braggers are a pain in the neck and I usually drop them.

its sad but they just developed that way. A former friend told me they had bought their son a white BMW, but only second hand as the boy was just 18. Before his birthday they parked it 2 streets away as a surprise.
The whole story made me realise I couldn't stand her any longer since she had married this terrible snob.

My best friend had 7 grandchildren before i had even one and that was a hard going for me trying to cope with being envious! She did not mention them too much or parade them in front of me. that was real friendship and now I have mine, we try not to talk too much about them. It is boring for others.
A few really good friends are all I really need.

I agree with Aka That there are 'friends for a reason, friends for a season and friends for life' and I've been incredibly lucky with the diverse bunch who are my 'friends for life'.

They do say that to have good friends you must be a good friend - so that should guarantee us the best possible!

But we do sometimes have to meet up with these "friends " through other mutual friends and yes, they do "get up one's nose".

It's not so much close friends who are like this but friends who "pop up" at Christmas and send those dreadful,impersonal round robin things which are an excuse to boast about their families and the wonderful holidays they have all had. We give them a quick read and then tear them up.

My son used to say of one particular friend "Mum, if she knew what her sons were really like she wouldn't be saying all that stuff."

Actually most of the friends I have have a very balanced opinion of their children and grandchildren otherwise they wouldn't be my friends as "absent" says.

This doesn't really make sense to me. If I didn't like my friends, they wouldn't be my friends - just acquaintances, neighbours, people that I know. Having said that, I think I have been extraordinarily lucky as my friends are a wonderful bunch of kind, loving, generous, funny, helpful, interesting people. It's always been a pleasure to see them and I profoundly hope some will travel halfway round the world for a holiday in the next few years.

Oh yes - I have one who springs to mind instantly. Her children were always cleverer, prettier etc etc. We did loose touch for some years when our DC were toddlers as I found the whole conversations extremely boring. Her children had always walked, talked and teethed earlier and had mumps or measles far worse than mine.
But we recently got back in touch now are children are in their late 30's - 40's but now it's the DGC competition. Must admit to mentally switching off over lunch quite often

Yes I know someone like that. Perfect marriage, perfect home, grown up kids who have never given her a minute's trouble. My own life has been far from perfect ! There is a saying my (very cynical) husband uses when I tell him about people like this 'believe none of what you hear and half of what you see'. And Mollie I find a lot of people I know these days are like your mum's friend. I seem to know all about their lives, families etc but they know very little about mine, because they never ask.

Friends are very special people to me. We've been through so much together. But not all friendships can or should last. There are 'friends for a reason, friends for a season and friends for life'.