Conquer your fear of flying - help is at hand with our Q&A

Am i too late???

I'm trying to persuade my sister to come on holiday with me but she is reluctant not because of a fear of crashing (that's my department) but she is very claustrophobic and the fact that she can't get off or move carriages or whatever if she has had enough gives her nausea-inducing panic attacks. Please give me some tips so she will come with me!

It is not the flying that bothers me but the claustrophobia coupled with my RLS (Restless leg syndrome) which tends to 'kick' in on every flight. I am not fond of long bus journeys either, much prefer ferry or train where you can walk about and get a breath of air. Since smoking was banned on all flights and in most airports, it is much worse. No chance of a soothing ciggy to calm your nerves when you need it most. I try to sleep or distract myself with books, Sudoku, etc. but being small, the seats are uncomfortable and my legs/arms leap which annoys other passengers and drives me to distraction. Any Tips??

It's not flying I hate, it's the waiting for hours at the airport, the endless queues, the searches and the petty confiscation of things like nail scissors or knitting needles. I was last on a plane in the 60's when the procedure was still more or less civilised.

You might say I don't know about long distance flight never having tried it.
I've never been kidnapped or held hostage but i know I wouldn't enjoy it!

We live on an island and it baffles me that we don't make more use of ships as transport. I'd love to get on a ship at my nearest port and sail to Ireland. Scotland or the south coast of England.

I'm fine with flying but am taking this opportunity to ask a question for a friend (it's not me pretending to be asking for someone else - this is definitely not for me!) who will not fly because of the after effects of the flight. She gets headaches and migraines and feels ill for 12 or more after the flight and has to lie down, go to bed etc.

Her daughter is married to my son, and we share a granddaughter. The snag is that they have relocated to the USA which means a long haul flight to visit them. I have no problems with this & enjoy the flights and experience of the journey, and have tried and tried to get her to talk about her reservations and fears to help her overcome them. She will not go the USA, yet bemoans the fact that she doesn't get to see the family there unless they come to Europe.

Recently I've discovered that she has consulted her GP about this condition when she flies. He's prescribed medication which will help, but she won't take it!! She claims that reading about the possible side effects of this medication put her off trying it, so we are at impasse. The only thing I could think of suggesting at this revelation was conginitve behavioural therapy, which didn't go down too well!

I think her problems are basically psychological and it is this which gives rise to the physical symptoms, although I accept that these are very real. As the experts, do you have any suggestions? Both I and my daughter-in-law have tried countless times to offer help & support, and this question to you is my last resort. Following this recent revelation about not taking the prescribed meds because of possible side effects, I will not raise the topic again and she will have to manage with one visit per year from her daughter & family.

My Dad used to say, 'When you've driven to the airport the most dangerous part of your journey is over.'

I once told a psychologist that I hated flying and he said it was the mark of a sane person!!

I am sitting ourside with my laptop and gazing over the huge blue sky and the beautiful view. Unfortunately I can also watch the clouds that accumulate in response to the aeroplane vapour trails!

This weekend there have been two catastrophic plane crashes in the news (San Francisco and Alaska I think) and now I am absolutely dreading going to Spain this summer. It's all very well saying only one in however many crashes but that's no comfort to the people on the one. Also I read various news reports saying how little flying experience on that particular aircraft the San Francisco pilot had. I appreciate everyone has to start somewhere but this hasn't helped my nerves. What if my pilot is a trainee? (and saying there are always experienced people alongside doesn't help. There were in this case too)

Oh, he is 3yo and it's a short haul flight - so there won't really be any inflight entertainment.

I didn't mind flying when I was younger, but since I've become petrified. DS is going on a plane for the first time next month - how can I hide my fear from him? And how can I distract him from the plane (and myself)?

I spent a lot of my childhood flying in RAF planes - mostly Dakotas - to wherever we were posted in the Middle East. I was scared by the frequent turbulence but my mother was a nervous passenger so I used to grit my teeth and bury my head in a book. I didn't fly in a jet until many years later when I flew with a friend to Munich. I marvelled at the speed of the take-off and how quickly we reached cruising height. It suddenly dawned on me that my friend was clutching my hand and shaking with nerves. As I reassured her I realised it was the first time I had flown without being scared myself. I don't have any problems with flying now but can empathise with anyone who does.

There are three retired pilots and one senior flight attendant in my family. None of them knows how scared I used to be because I never let on. I'm so thankful I grew out of it because I used to regard it as a curse.

my friends daughter is almost refusing to fly. She did have sickness the first time she flew owing to bad food. Can one help her to get over this to give the family a chance to go away!

my friends daughter is almost refusing to fly. She did have sickness the first time she flew owing to bad food. Can one help her to get over this to give the family a chance to go away!

Just back and, small world, I had the same pilot who aborted the landing last week; that was a bit of a worry but his No.2 was a woman so all was well

Coincidentally, flying is just being discussed on QI and apparently most people prefer a cultured voice or a Scottish accent from the pilot!

I am afraid I have no choice but to fly if I ever want to see my family. The only thing that bothers me is the boredom on my very long flights to New Zealand, and the lack of privacy. I am surprised that flying doesn't worry me, as I do suffer from a measure of claustrophobia in lifts, etc. but the one place where I am really trapped for many hours is in a plane and I never feel nervous or uncomfortable.
I think I heard that many more people survive aircraft accidents than you might think but it doesn't make the headlines.
I was once invited onto the flight deck with my young grand-daughter on our way back from Malaysia and I found the experience awe-inspiring- the view of the land below is quite different when viewed from the front.

Sorry Nonu but I am a big anti-aeroplane person! Still light here!

I fly reasonably frequently for someone who still works (3 to 5 times a year) and do so on the assumption that the pilot wishes to live a little longer. I do however always sit at the back based on the knowledge that I have never heard of an airliner ever backing into a mountain. Do date that is!
Sorry!

Mishap , bit doom laiden there , lighten up.

I quite like flying as it gets me to places I want to go, I take it as all of my holiday experience

I hate flying with every fibre of my being. For several reasons:

- it is wrecking the planet. We have to move on from the idea that we can fly where we want when we want regardless of what it is doing to the world. It is a dangerous mindset that has dangerous outcomes.

- I detest the sensation of flying. I understand all the physics of aeroplane flight, but hate the feeling.

- human error whilst in the sky is far more dangerous than on the ground - e.g. in a train. And there is no way of eliminating human error.

- the comparison statistics between car and plane are spurious. Deaths and injury per mile are misleading - the crucial statistic is deaths per accident.

I accept that Gally and Kitty but still can't rationalise my fears

My friend's son is a BA pilot. His argument is that he isn't aiming to due anyone soon so we are quite safe!! I was reassured until he told me about the time he found himself flying rather too close to the Rockies.

I fly quite a lot and over the years have become more relaxed about it. If your number is up - it's up, is my philosophy! I'm not too keen on turbulence but try to imagine I am in a car travelling down a very rough road. I am flying back to the UK this morning and even after a missed approach aborted landing last week, which wasn't particularly pleasant, I am not worried. I have faith in the pilot and crew; they are all highly trained and able to deal with most eventualities ......... aren't they?

I am fine once in the air, but am always scared on take off and landing. I deal with it by not looking out of the window at that time, and studiously reading something (anything!), making sure I carefully emphasise every word to myself (not out loud of course). Bit dilly, but it works for me. Come to think of it, I'm applying the principles of mindfulness!

I would also welcome any tips for not being scared during turbulence.

Thanks Thistledo.
I would really love to visit so many places but can't bring myself to take the first step, katykat.
Funnily enough I will drive almost anywhere so I thought my fear may be to do with control. I think an aeroplane coming down is so final but there is a chance of survival, however small, with most other forms of transport.

katykat I hate turbulence too.

Hoping you can help. I was on a flight which made an emergency landing some years ago. Everyone was fine (I think it was mainly precautionary) but now I expect the worst every time I set foot on a plane. What's the best way for me to relax and move on from this?