Crass behaviour

I agree Gorki. I'm afraid I'd have walked out of that house and never returned. I don't suffer fools gladly and that was truly a crass remark . You're a more forgiving woman than I ever could be PM

I think your neighbour's comment was totally unacceptable and would have upset me for weeks. I'm afraid I don't have a thick skin !

A story from my past (just one of several). We lived next door to a very nice couple Who wre spiritualists, and the lady of the house gained comfort from 'talking' with her dead father. I enjoyed chatting with her, and she enjoyed the company of my daughter (who has grown into a lovely caring person). Her view on the reason our son was born as he was, and suffered so much, (he was never in any physical pain) was that he had led a very bad life in his previous world. My response to that was I had probably been as bad, because in all honesty my life was no bowl of cherries at that time. Having said that we remained friends, and she would always sit with our childre in the evening if we asked. I think you just get a thicker skin along with greater understanding.

Mamie My grandson is just the same. He can socialise with children two years younger than himself but finds it impossible to make friends within his class. The others regard him as a bit odd and refer to him as crazy. So sad ! He did make one friend last year with a boy we feel is on the spectrum but has not been diagnosed but the school has decided to put them into different classes next year. I can understand this in a way but he is going to be isolated again. He is so sociable but does not have the same social skills as the others.

The problem is the adult , but try not to let it rankle. When my DD1 was about two , her godmother and my oldest friend came to stay. She was helping with the housework and in those days there were no duvets. I had blankets which were open weave. My friends watch disappeared and she was convinced that DD had taken it. For hours she kept asking where the child might have hidden it and then kept telling m e that it didn't Matter but I was mortified. She had no idea about children as I didn't but she was an infant schoolteacher and I thought she knew best . By the time she told DD that Mummy would love you any more if she didn't say where the watch was I began to pity the poor kids in her care. As the atmosphere had got cooler and my friend was leaving I started to strip her bed. Caught in the mesh of the blanket was the watch. There was no way DD could have got into the room as the door handles were adult chest height in that house. But as you can see it still rankles nearly 40 years later.

butty its down to lack of understanding, but thats no excuse!
My Sister has had some terrible comments from people, her 20 yr old son is autistic he is well over 6ft and a big strapping lad, people can be so cutting in the comments they thoughtlessly throw around. {{{hugs}}}

My grandson aged 14 has Aspergers. I find him endlessly fascinating.
He looks at the world differently.
Some people are very ignorant about autism/aspergers, so they are best ignored... or, some might say, we should help to enlighten them, maybe.

Yes it is hard. There is something about the lack of understanding of the world that makes him particularly vulnerable. I think in some senses Spain is a better place for him to grow up as people stay so close to their families, though. Looking forward to time with both the children next week, our granddaughter is not so keen on speaking English at the moment, so I hope we can work on that!

Sweet boy. (for Mamie). You want to sometimes just pick them up and wrap them in that cottonwool that we're not supposed to be even thinking about. I wish the process of watching children becoming adults wasn't so hard!? Especially when they have challenges.

Mamie Have a good time.

No, we are all meeting up in England GK. Sometimes I can hardly bear to think about how hard life is for him. He is very excited about England and knows dates, departure times and distances by heart.
I will be glad to get away, everyone here has gone on holiday!

Mamie enjoy your time with your grandchildren - Spain, I presume? My heart goes out to the little boy who wants to make friends, but doesn't have the skills.

Better to let off steam here - I can see why you were upset too.

Yep, a valid point.

Anyway, thanks all for listening. It's helped to have been able to have a good growl here.

Two sides and all that !!

Valid point NFK !!

Perhaps you shouldn't be too hard on this lady, who being ignorant about autism was asking if it was possibly a trait? She could have gone barging in accusing the child - or she may have heard other parents blaming him/her through their ignorance and wanted to know the facts.

There are so many forms of disability, how can we all be fully informed on all of them. It wasn't a subject when I was at school, perhaps it's included now in humanities or something, so I've only picked up information when I've come to know someone who is disabled about their disability. It's only recently when a friends child was diagnosed that I've learnt anything at all about autism. (And I've a long way to go)

Enjoy!

That's really hard Galen. Emotional intelligence is the issue, I guess.
My GS is a very loving little boy, but had enormous problems trying to relate to other children. He is atypical for ASD in that he wants to make friends, but just doesn't have the skills. He has just been to summer camp and it was regarded as a positive sign that he said how much he missed his home. So sad and difficult to deal with. I am going to spend a fortnight with them next week, which will be the longest I have ever spent with him and his sister. I am soooo excited.

I'm beginning to think he has none. I hardly ever hear from him,

People on the autistic spectrum cover the whole intelligence range; there is no automatic link between autism and giftedness. I have worked with autistic children who have no verbal communication at all.

My son now aged 41, is almost certainly on the autistic spectrum. He is however, very intelligent and works in computing.

Mr previous neighbour's son (now 38) was diagnosed as autistic when he was 14. I've mentioned him before. He runs the village shop now and leads a normal life, as long as there are no big changes which do knock him off balance. Everyone knows him, and he fits into his community with ease, because they have adjusted to him.

The world is full of very stupid people, don't take any notice of this particular one, not worth it.

and for a positive story about autism. My step niece, now in her mid 30s, is autistic and has learning difficulties. Her disability is severe enough for her to need to live in a protected environment. She has been part of our family since her father married my sister 15 years ago. Most years she goes on holiday to our house in France with her parents.

This year after her holiday she wrote us a thank you letter. It was very simple 'Thank you very much for letting me stay' but it is the first time she has ever communicated with us and that card has pride of place on my bookcase.