Humanist Association

I was a member of the Wirral branch for many years and we had a humanist celebrant for my brother's funeral. She was also very kind and took the trouble to find out something about my brother's life to make it more personal.

DD1 is a civil celebrant (as well as being an assistant Registrar). She always visits the bereaved family asap after the funeral is booked and spends an hour or two collecting memories, funny stories as well as the 'facts' when & where born, career, family relationships etc. She can also advise on readings, music, etc. She then spends literally hours writing up the eulogy, tracking down and recording music, collating the order of service, photographs etc. She delivers a copy of these to the family prior to the funeral and makes any amendments that they request. This requires a great deal of tact and diplomacy at times because families sometimes cannot agree over what they want said or not. Finally a few days after the funeral the chief mourner receives a presentation copy of the service.

The result is a totally personalised ceremony, which can include a 'moment of quiet reflection' when those that wish to can pray. Because there is no time spent on religious exhortations or formal prayers, there is much more time to devote to the life of the deceased. I have, sadly, attended several funerals over the past year and have found the 'religious' ones, particularly where the Priest or Minster has not known the deceased, to be pretty sterile and quite bereft of any comfort for a heathen such as me.

Granny23 This is just as my Dads service. Everyone said they thought the celebrant had known him. I feel that this service is actually more about the person and religious services are more about 'God'. Of course each to their own .

Mishap that sounds lovely. Glad you have been able to say a quiet and comforting goodbye. [hug]

My nephew's funeral was led by a humanist celebrant, and it was entirely developed by the family, with his help. He put so much care and effort into it, and completely reflected the nature of my nephew, funny incidents, a few little surprises that not many people knew about him, and music that meant something to him - a young man who should still be around, but his funeral demonstrated the lasting impact he had on us all. We came away saying 'that's what I want my funeral to be like.'

It sounds as though others have had good experience of humanist celebrants. We were certainly pleased.

Just been looking at Humanist Association website and, whilst I was delighted with our ceremony, I found the site a bit too campaigning for my taste - what do others think?

Do you mean campaigning in an anti-religion way Mishap?

My group in 1976 campaigned simply for fairness for humanists. We met the Education Secretary, now Lord Hunt, to ask why our children were not given anything to do when they were withdrawn from RE lessons (in those days, they were indoctrination, not just information and discussion as they are now). He told us we could not be bringing up our children to have good morals if we weren't Christians!

I have looked at the BHA site and I agree with all the campaigns.

Maybe I am just not a campaigner by nature.

I can see that the causes are just and reasonable though.

My lifelong friend was a Humanist, and her funeral was lovely.She did not take part in any campaigning though. I didn't realise they did any campaigning.

I was a member for many years, not quite sure how I managed to let it lapse. One of the things they were working on at that time was to legalise humanist marriages without having to have a separate ceremony conducted by a registrar. That campaign was successful.

Even in Ireland we had a humanist celebrant for my father's funeral although most of the ceremony was conducted by my siblings and me.

My daughter was married by a humanist celebrant, it was a beautiful ceremony.