There was a young lady from . . .

How do you know some of us have not been reduced to fits of the vapours ?
SFM , I am a very shy little person !!

Roses can sometimes be Red
And Violets are generally Blue
For it's not in the Rhyming
But all in the Timing
That makes a dumb Limerick True

DHC???? DGC of course!

Let's keep a sense of proportion and not take ourselves too seriously. I would guess that 90% of jokes contravene current PC standards, many of these limericks we would blanch at if we heard them in company especially if our DC or DHC were around and I have been, shall we say, surprised by how unutterably unrepeatable some of them are! However......they are limericks, they are usually by definition suggestive/smutty/vulgar and not to be taken seriously. Nobody has been hurt (I hope) reading them, nobody has been reduced to a fit of the vapours and the sentiments contained in them are "not necessarily those of the writers". So have a laugh and let's not let the thread be more or less than a bit of fun.

It isn't a very hard trick
to sit down and compose a limerick
Just give me some time
and two lines that rhyme
and I'll present you with something real slick.

No that one was not mine. Most of the ones I have posted were lifted from elsewhere.

Well said Mishap! The fun is in fitting the rhymes and the rhythm into a little story.

Limericks are not meant to be taken seriously - the wordplay and rhymes are there to be enjoyed for their wit and imagination. For my part I do not think serious sociological and moral analysis is what they are about. Heaven help us - they are just jokes! The incompetent and impotent
men are matched by some pretty silly women - they are the realm of wit and fantasy. I do not think there are many limericks that could or should bear serious analysis - that's what they are for and three cheers! I'm all for a bit of fun.

Limericks are often very clever in their rhyme schemes and their puns - that is what we enjoy and admire.

None of these limericks has been aimed at hurting individual members.

Oops! Sorry you got the draft version first.
This should have read

There once was a fierce cat called Rory
Who would leave people's legs looking gory.
Then one terrible night
He got into a fight
Soop's told us the rest of his story.

There was once a fierce cat called Rory.
Who left people's legs looking gory.
But one terrible night,
He got into a fight,
And Soop knows
the rest of this story.

Are 'cheeky' limericks, full of double entendre, on a par with the Gill saucy postcard? Often the men come off as badly as the women...but both I agree full of total stereotypes and some are just rude/misogynistic and not very clever.

My brother's a really sad sight.
He has trouble in standing upright.
The cause of his trouble:
His back is bent double;
The found his suspenders too tight!

Of course they are misogynistic. Also misanthropic, anti-clerical and a whole lot of other undesirable things. After all they are only five lines long and you do have to cram in a lot of cliches to make a joke out of that, while keeping the rhymes and the rhythm intact. So long as they are not aimed at hurting GN individuals, Misogyny etc are fine.

That's probably what the builder assumed, too. Sorry, but I think some of these limericks are misogynistic in the extreme!

I assume Hilda swooned with pleasure!

My brain is a bit more in gear now.

There was a young lassie from Stoke.
Who went "walking out" with a bloke.
I've "caught pregnant" she sighed
It can't be denied,
That I cannot resist a quick poke.

Our Betty enjoyed eating cake,
until her poor belly would ache.
She grew very domed,
But then she atoned,
and went just as thin as a rake.

I think I must be in a sensitive mood this morning. I don't like the Hilda one at all. Not because it is rude or risque, that doesn't bother me, but it because it looks to me too close to rape.

I have pm-ed you, Greatnan. My remark was on someone else's behalf, which I've tried to explain in pm. Elegran is right to want to keep such discussions off the thread.

Mishap thank you for that one! When I was very small my mum (named Hilda) told me a sanitised version of that one and I have been wracking my brains trying to remember the rude version

I am astonished at being criticised for my perfectly innocent limerick. I don't know anybody in Boreham but it was the only place I could think of that rhymed with forum. FFS.

On Gransnet I spend all my time.
So my house is now covered in grime.
"You're addicted" they say,
Tell them "just go away,
I am sitting here trying to rhyme!"

I've not really thought about it in that light when - I just looked at the witty wordplay. Mea culpa.

There was a young lady called Hilda
Who went driving one night with a builda
He said that he should
That he could and he would
And he did and it pretty near killda

Me, too, anno. I love Edward Lear and near the knuckle cheeky rhymes, but not ones that mix chidren with adult sex. Am enjoying the majority of it though

Thanks, Elegran! Will get it. I hadn't googled it. T had, but not in enough depth!

Grumpa - I posted the bishop of Birmingham one before and HQ deleted it! - I wait to see if yours suffers the same fate!!!

There was a young fellow named Hyde
Who fell down a privy and died
His unfortunate brother
Then fell down another
And now they're interred side by side!

Think about it!!!