Changing "Rules" in Baby Care

I can't bear the idea of swaddling, but my daughter swaddled my twin grandsons, now 5. They seemed to like it!

I think I might have posted before about swaddling. It puzzles me that a baby that has been writhing and kicking around its mum's womb should, as soon as it's born, have its limbs constricted. Mine were never swaddled either in hospital or at home and, oh yes, they did grow up reasonably normal!

Latest DGD will only sleep on her side and neither of them could bear to be swaddled. Apparently I was the same and so were my children. I'm still mildly claustrophobic and hate being in tight clothes or small rooms.

My first three were born in the 70s and I also swaddled them but they slept on their sides.

Penelope Leach and Dr Spock were our bibles - sometimes contradicting each other.

When my DD's were born in the 70's, there was a book that seemed to be every mother's bible, I can't remember the title but it was written by Penelope Leach (Leech?). I think she advised swaddling babies - which I did, (the poor little things looked like mummies) and laying them on the tummies.

There don't seem to be HVs here, certainly no one came near DD when she had DGS, she was told to lie him on his back but he didn't like it after a few weeks, and started to move around a lot, SIL spent a lot of money on a contraption that was supposed to keep him on his back and he just wriggled over it !!!
I have an artificial Heart Valve which clicks all the time(i hope) and when DD was very little he would settle down very nicely if placed face down on Grandmas chest, he still cuddles up and calls it a clicky cuddle.
Playpens are also still used by most families here.

I had my children when it was supposed to be good for babies to go to sleep on their tummies, however I felt it was wrong [just gut feeling] so laid them on their backs. I felt they could get more air that way and turn their heads from side to side.On weaning, I think the advice was about 4 months at that time , 2 were ready for it, and one was not, so I didn't force it. Advice does change and all do different things according to culture, but it seems to me that you can't do much harm leaving it LATER but doing it SOONER then you could! My DGC got fresh air from going for a walk in their prams, but were not left outside like mine were.Other than that, don't think there was much difference. The main difference is in having no play pens, which I used to find really helpful.

I was really surprised to read about prem babies needing to be weaned earlier- so I did a bit of reading around. I'd always heard the contrary in the 70s when my kids were born- as they digestive tract is poorly developed and cannot cope with solids. It seems that there is a lot of contradicting info from experts out there- and that may only apply to 'some' prem babies- as so often, even the best experts do not agree- so it seems a bit unfair to talk about 'poor' advice here.

Generally, it is also interesting that advice given by experts in baby care also can change greatly from country to country, and different cultures.

As I said above I did have two home births, one in 71 and one in 78, with neither of these was I expected to go to the doctors surgery until they were 6 weeks old. The midwives came to me and then the health visitor. I suppose I was lucky in that respect.

My DiL has had two home births and was expected take her newborns to a (germ-ridden) doctors surgery for a check-up within the first few days.

I didn't have home births myself, but I bet that would have been frowned on back when ours were born.

My daughters have both been given poor advice by HVs, who didn't know that premature babies should be weaned earlier, according to how premature they were, and an estimate of what nourishment from the womb they have missed out on. It seemed a bit odd to wean a 6lb baby on to gluten-free mush, but this is what the paediatrician advised, based on research findings with preemies. No doubt this advice will be amended in due course, too.

Back to Sleep

The incidence of SIDS has been virtually halved since 'Back to Sleep' campaign.

I followed my instincts and so does my youngest DD. I had my first four in the 70, lying on their tummies, breast fed on demand (although I was told to do the 4 hourly thing) with the first I was in hospital for 10 days, 2nd I had at home but my mother came to look after the household and I was upstairs for almost 2 weeks getting to know the baby although I did have a year old to breast feed too. My third I was breast feeding and the health visitor insisted that he should be weaned off the breast at 8 months. I don't know why I listened to her it just resulted in a distressed baby and mother. He is still awkward and I blame the early weaning off the breast. My fourth I had at home and she was breast fed until she was almost 2 and weaned onto solids at around 5 months but became extremely constipated. My fifth baby was born in the 80s and slept on his back although I did cover him. The do look so forlorn lying on their backs with no covers. I cannot stand to see this.

My DD also follows her instincts and is baby led with almost every thing. She does do baby signing and her 6 month old now understands the sign for milk and also does a rudimentary sign for milk when she is hungry.

The posts on mattresses reminds me that when my DS were babies, there was a fashion for putting a lamb skin under the baby. I know they still use sheepskin for elderly immobile patients but are they still advised for babies? It was supposed to keep the baby warm and allow him or her to breathe easily because of the air flow through the wool. I never tried it because I couldn't face washing sheepskins as well as all the terry nappies!

I agree with you "vampirequeen"

I think they're supposed to be able to move their heads enough not to I'm sure a lot of it is just down to getting to know your baby and finding out what will work for them.

I always used visivent mattresses with mine. I still don't understand why a baby might not choke if lying on it's back.

My granddaughter wouldn't settle on her back, and would also sleep on her parents on her tummy. I read some research from New Zealand that sleeping on tummies was bad only because second hand mattresses were used , and gases formed from combination of vomit etc and chemicals used as fire retardants in the mattresses could cause sudden infant death syndrome, by the baby inhaling the gas. I think this gave dd confidence to let her baby sleep on her tummy On the new mattress which was free from the nasty chemicals anyway. No doubt some health workers would hold up their hands in horror about this ,but there we are!

Out of curiosity can anyone tell me why laying a baby on it's side is dangerous and on it's back is right, when an unconscious / semiconscious accident victim is turned onto the recovery position to the side - never on the back?

Nfk - that made me laugh. My babies all loved lying on their tummies, on my front, or a handy dad, grannie, auntie. When our youngest was a tiny babe, her dad would come in from work, and sit on a cosy chair, with her snuggled on his chest. He said he found her very calming. This was of course, during the 80's when you were advised never to lie your baby on her back. I also often fell asleep during nighttime feeds, and woke with the baby snuggled on my chest. Thankfully, my babies survived, and I'm relieved they were born when the 'rules' were less rigid.

I've just got back from 'helping' DS and DiL with their new born. He refused to settle at all on his back in his crib preferring a fetal position on his tummy - on his dad's front. We compromised by swaddling him and laying him on his side, shoulder forward to stop him rolling onto his front, just to get him used to being on his own in the crib. This was during the day and he wasn't left alone. Health visitor arrived and gave me hell! Goodness knows what she'd have said if she'd caught him being held (also a no-no) AND on his front!

I suppose it depends on how old our children are, and I think we cover a very wide range on here from about 12 ( Bags ?) up to maybe 50+? I'm sure there have been a lot of changes in the 'rules' during that time, never mind until now. Some of the things my daughter does (co-sleeping, no solids until six months) are not so different from the things I did in the 80's. But go back to babies born in the 60's and I'm sure things were very different.

Great post anno - I love structure and information, I am not so good with dogma

I put the boys on solids (well, mush) at about 4 months as they seemed hungry despite my having all the milk they could possibly consume. My DiLs have followed their instincts rather than any fashionable plan and all the GC have turned out to be healthy, lively youngsters. My DS2 slept on his front as he had bowel problems and was more comfortable in that position. DS1 had been a side sleeper. The fact is that no matter what you do with them, they generally grow up normal and well-adjusted.