A poem, Called "This is the Table"

Thank you all.

LizG not really talented at all, more a case of, as one of my ex-bosses put it "Rachel, your brain seems to be wired differently from other peoples" In other words, I'm weird/strange/odd (delete where not applicable)

No doubt I will suddenly get a bit of a "spurt" at some point, and rework this section "This is the table that when Jack came, and I told him that to put his feet up on it was compulsory, he looked shocked, as such behaviour wasn't allowed in his step mothers house."

Phoenix you are very talented. This poem gives us enough information but still allows us to visualise a situation and even add ourselves. As gracesmum said, very poignant.

My granddaughter has informed me that she is going to be a publisher when she grows up. Not only that, she is going to write the stories and illustrate them. Never knew those words when I was six.

There is a bit of this that I'm not happy with, if no-one minds, I will give it a bit of thought and post the revised version.

Is there a writing group you could join anywhere nearby? It may be a way to find out about agents and stuff. This publishing lark does seem to be very difficult to break into, but lucrative if you can.

Good to see that other women are writing poems; keep up the good work! I've been a performing poet since I was old enough to know better, and have written poems since I was 5. Go for it, girl!

I thought it was going to be a poem about a young couple building their life together. Then I came to the line about Jack and I got cold shivers all down my back. Very powerful.
I didn't notice the is missing until you pointed it out Phoenix

Love it Phoenix, and that's good suggestion from bags

I thought your poem was original and touching - and its meaning was clear, unlike those poems where you get to the end and think "what the hell was that all about".

What about starting a blog and publishing your own poems, phoenix?

I think your OP is a powerful piece of writing. I like it a lot.

I thought that it was lovely phoenix. I agree with gracesmum, because we know about Jack it makes it quite poignant.

Look forward to the next whatever and, yes, it should be published.

Reading that has made me think how important tables are in our lives - bit deep for 5.23 in the morning.

Have thought of another verse/stanza/whatever, but can't do it tonight.

Would still welcome opinions/criticism from all, appreciate it's a million miles away from "Whatever's the matter with Maurice" !

Thanks to all who have responded. This was composed/written in under 10 minutes, so could perhaps do with a little polishing.

NFK thank you for saying that it should be published, I have never submitted any poems or verse to anyone who might publish, wouldn't know where to start. I did submit an article to The Oldie, but got a thanks but no thanks response.

Oh well, ........

I didn't notice the "is" was missing - it's just lovely. It tells the story, perfectly.

( And it should be published )

Oh damn, just seen a missing word in the first line! Should be an "is" between "This" and "the"

What do you think of it as a poem, as opposed to what I call "daft verse" as in "Whatever's the matter with Maurice?"

Please be honest, I can take it, and it's not as if it's ever going to get published!

Its great when you throw them a curved ball and ease them out of the norm

But that is precisely what makes it so special!

Yes and no, it was flat pack solid oak one from Cargo, nothing particularly special about it per se, just the thing relating to Jack.

I'll never forget his face when we went through to the sitting room after supper, and I said that it was compulsory to sit back with feet on the coffee table!

This is sounding poignant? This is a very special table I think.