STOP IT NOW!

I'm with you 100% phoenix and have for the past few years really cut down on the presents given as they children have got older,I have never bought for my sisters or brother (he who has everything) since we got married so no problems there and stopped with nephews & nieces when they where 16 just cards sent after that.
mr.glamma & I don't bother with presents just a token gift on the tree such as perfume or aftershave but always a favourite one that I know will be used.
This year all DGSs will be getting socks & boxers with an envelope containing £s except youngest who is 9 and he will open a cycling helmet as DD has treated him to a new bike.I have even cut out all the stocking filler stuff as all you get is junk stuff which is more often than not binned before the day is out and is tat anyway.

Phoenix I agree with you completely. For several years we stopped buying presents for adults. Unfortunately, the buying presents for adults thing has crept back, although we operate a "Secret Santa" system where only one present is bought for one person, rather than everybody buying presents for everybody else.

Sounds like a very nice Christmas to look forward to, gillybob.

We are a very small family consisting of ; My husband, me, my mum, my dad, my gran, my sister, son, daughter, DiL, 3 grandchildren. That's it !

I do Christmas lunch. We all live within a few miles of each other so my husband picks everyone up (in relays) although I insist it's taxis home.

We all exchange presents. We don't go mad, (it's just smallish things for the adults) but I have to admit it is part of the fun choosing presents for my family.

Now what to buy my 97 year old grandma this year?

I am with you 100% Pheonix we will do about £10. In M&S I was looking in horror at some biscuits in a fancy tin. The packaging must have cost more than the few biscuits. DGS might get something nice though, he is still too young too understand.

My DH was one of 11 so it was easy to suggest only buying for children (we even had one sister suggest that as we didn't have children we shouldn't buy for theirs!). Now the children are grown with families of their own I do buy for a couple of the adults as they have been so supportive to me since DH died.

I do love Christmas but used to wake up in a panic about 3 weeks before having had my recurring dream that it is Christmas morning and I had bought nothing! I only relaxed after all the shops had closed on Christmas Eve.

Pheonix, couldn't agree with you more! I, however have taken it one step further.

Partly due to financial constraints (well, mainly actually) and partly on principle, I do neither cards or presents for anyone, whether birthday, christmas, anniversary, whatever. My only concession being the ex's parents (flowers for mum, puzzle books/sweets for dad) as a token of appreciation for all they have done for me and mine over the years, like be there, unlike their son!

My DSs got used to it when they were younger, as they understood that my money just didn't stretch that far...but they had presents from other family members so didn't miss out.

My DGCs also get plenty from their extended family, too much in my humble opinion, to go with the inordinate amount of things they have already.

My 'presents' to all of them is, and always has been, my time, my love and my support. I always see them on their birthdays, and go to their parties....with everything else going on they don't notice that I have come empty-handed, they just notice I am there, that is all they need from me.

At Christmas, they all have Christmas Day at home with their piles of stuff, and everyone, including M&DiL come to me on Boxing Day for fun, cuddles, love, laughter and a bit of grub!

I might add that my DSs are all happy with this, and don't 'do' cards much either, but they always ring or call round on Mothers Day and my birthday, and afford the same courtesy to their Grandparents (M&DiL), on their birthdays/Mothers Day/Fathers Day!

Slightly unconventional maybe, but it works for us, and means that we mark these days with each other through love and appreciation, not a sense of duty and for what we can get out of it.

Absolutely with you phoenix - we are going to my DS this year in Ireland and it will be just be a family meal and get together. For the first time DH has extricated himself from his own families gift fest in which all the adults give and expect expensive presents (tat - you must be joking) and I even get gifts from my SIL's teenaged offspring! DH being an impoverished student has given him the acceptable excuse. MIL used to buy about 60 presents (gifts for the grown up children of friends etc - I've started and i don't know how to stop syndrome) I think this has decreased somewhat now she has to get others to do the shopping for her...
OTHER COUNTRIES DO GO IN FOR THIS MADNESS!

I do agree with all you say Phoenix. It is hard to break established patterns of presents.

DH and I transfer money to our 4 DGC's bank accounts for Christmas and birthdays and they each get a couple of parcels to unwrap - nothing excessive. For example our 12-year old DGD is having a nail art set and some re-cycled bath bombs. We gave up buying presents for grown ups years ago, apart from DD who loves parcels (but we have a £10 limit). Despite my trying to stop presents coming to us, the DGC all give us something and I can see that they are being taught to give as well as receive so we thank them and appreciate the thinking.

I dislike the gross commercialisation of Christmas though I love the traditions and music and special foods so we keep it simple and enjoy the festival which lightens the darkest days of winter. Cheers everyone!

This Christmas we have already decided that we are spending max £20 per person. That means that we have to put our thinking caps on but I have already dropped a couple of hints!

There will only be the four of us anyway so that's £60 per person, which we feel is quite acceptable.

Christmas dinner has been discussed and a request made for duck(!), which I've never cooked before. Puddings will be as usual and then it will be pressie opening and card games in front of the fire.

We spend £10 per household plus gifts for the children which are not OTT. This year we are going to DD3 for lunch and will probably do a meal for everyone on boxing day. This pattern is quite good and works for us. I have suggested that OH and I don't bother for each other but he is not keen.

With you all the way. We stopped exchanging presents for over 21s when our children were little but we're now facing the challenge of bringing in the 21 rule for our kids. (I think it should be age 18 now) They don't want to as apparently it isn't fair when their in-laws want to carry on. DiL's parents have a £10 rule which sounds good but ends up meaning exchanging bottles of wine, while DD2 has to buy stuff for SiL's cousins who they've never met - and their children! (She's latched on to my beloved grandmother's idea - mark who unwanted presents are from and put them away for redistribution next year) DD1's in-laws have split and regrouped which adds even more to her problems!

Well, I LOVE the present giving at Christmas. In our family everybody produces a list of suggestions of things they would like a month or two in advance. No guarantee you will get anything on it, but it is a guide. This tradition goes back to my childhood. Most of the presents we give are small, but we know each other and our tastes. Yes, of course there are occasional disasters. I was given a cookery book last year, where having gone through it, I haven't found a single recipe I want to try but, never mind, in a few years a charity shop shopper will benefit.

The one person I do not do a present exchange with is my DS. She and BiL dislike Christmas and do not bother to celebrate it in any way, no cards, presents, decorations, turkey or other Christmas food. I have no problem with that, but I love it and everything that goes with it - including presents.

Agree with you 100%.

My two uncles (partners) used to swap a ten pound note every Christmas as their Gift to each other!!!???

I'm ok with the making it a special meal thing (for the last 2 years, the lunch/dinner has been the slam it in the oven good old Lidl 3 bird roast, £9.99) And we always have the Smoked Fish Creams (a Delia recipe, comes out a bit like a soufflé) for brunch, around 11.30, yum!

It's the damn present thing that pisses me off gets me cross!

If Mr P and I choose to have foodstuffs that we wouldn't have on an "ordinary" day, then so be it. But as to buying presents that falls into my previously mentioned category.

I'll gladly join your campaign Phoenix

We have all decided to opt out of the stress and complete waste of money.
Presents for children only and not OTT

Not cooking turkey lunch affair just a nice meal of our choice.

harrigran

So glad that you see my point, although I must admit I am not in a position to take all the family out for lunch.

I have no problem with getting everyone together, although DS and DIL always end up having DIL's extended (and I do mean extended, but that's a story for another day)

It's just the present thing that I have a problem with.

Why is it, just because it's a certain time of the year, we spend money we cant afford, buying things for people that they do not want?

Years ago my ex had to drive to Sheffield to buy something for his nieces son even though his niece could have bought it and we could have given her the money at Christmas and then given him the present. I've never understood things like that. I often wonder how much richer we'd all be if we had the money for all the unwanted gifts we've bought throughout the years.

I am phoenix, I asked adults to stop buying gifts for us and just to buy for GC. I take the whole family out for lunch on Christmas Day and we have a stress free day.