Loneliness and social media

Scary or what ?
I may have mentioned it before that someone contacted me before Christmas , who I have not seen or heard of from 50 -yes 50, years ago how on Gods sweet earth did she
a] get my married name [Iwas single when I knew her]

b] get my current address, the last time I saw her I was living in B"Ham

Don"t like it !!!

Of course not, but we can choose what to reveal on sites such as this. On Facebook most people share photos, events, even when they're going on holiday, even if it is only with a limited number of 'friends'. My DD amazes me with the amount of information she knows about people we used to know years ago - some of it I'm sure they'd rather she'd not passed on!

Just for the record, I think anyone can read the posts on Gransnet – they don't have to sign up to membership.

Also, I have pointed out before that it is perfectly possible to track down the real identity of people who post under pseudonyms unless they are very clever about it. I asked a friend who is more au fait with computers than I am to do some research about this – not, I hasten to add, on Gransnet. I then tried it myself and it took me less 5 minutes to find out the name and address of someone who posts on a social forum under a pseudonym.

We have also had instances of family members recognising posters on Gransnet who have then changed their Gransnet names or left the forum completely because their postings have caused ructions.

The ethernet is not a secure medium.

200 merlot ? I know people with 1,000 friends

I use facebook to keep in touch with family and friends. I wouldn't like to be without it as it's a great way of sharing news and photos. I'm amazed how many so called friends there are on some people's profiles. How on earth can you keep in touch with over 200? I only have 25 and one of those is my daughter's dog!

fb has been a minefield for me, as someone I'd fallen out with deleted/edited our many conversations.............then rearranged them in the most unfavourable light possible, showed the finished article round the family, and caused mayhem. I would never have believed anyone could be so spiteful. She also 'unfriended' me as did everyone who had seen the edited version.
She was my best pal for a year, with daily postings, so there was plenty toplay with. So be warned by my gullibility! I've always worn my heart on my sleeve & been very open, but MUST be less so.

Face Book has been a godsend for me. I have craft friends on there, found people who I had lost touch with, joined an open gossip board for my area which has been brilliant bringing back memories. Had support when I need it and a lough when I feel lonely. It has it's place. But, yes, it can misconstrue comments sometimes, but if you make yourself clear that's fine.

Actually, lots of people on fb have pseudonyms.

Then don't put anything on there that you wouldn't want anyone to see or know about. People don't have to have hundreds of friends on FB either. I only have people listed that I actually know.

OK, OK - I take your point about it being posters and not FB itself that can cause trouble! But as jingl says, Gransnet is anonymous (unless members have atually met up).

Big difference is that GN is anonymous (I effing hope! ) ,whilst Facebook is n't.

Charleygirl Ana You belong to this forum and are posting. Personally I see no difference between that and FB. You only need to post what you want to. I believe any one can sign up on here and read all posts. On FB you can decide who looks at your posts. These social media groups get blamed for many things (eg. FB caused my Husband to leave me . FB caused a family rift). It is people who cause these things not a forum.

You have no control over who sees what you have written on Gransnet but on facebook you can set the privacy level. There is nothing to stop anybody using, what you have written, in a magazine or newspaper article.

No glam It can't be seen by everyone if you set it to be private.

GN was the first social forum that I joined and I have enjoyed every minute whilst making new friends across the Country & Abroad,FB scares me to death for some reason and I hardly ever go on there even though my DD convinced me it is a good way to keep in contact with friends and relatives,just got to be careful what you post everywhere and remember it can be seen by anyone.

I have found GN very good for social contact it might be virtual contact but it helps. You can have some good chats and some silly fun.

Fb isn't 'rubbish', any more than Gransnet is rubbish, it's what some people post on there that can be rubbish.

As Nellie said, you can edit and delete very easily on Fb.

Ana just to be pedantic, it's not really fair to blame Facebook itself for causing problems between people. The problem is down to the stuff people are stupid enough to post on there.

We really do need to think hard before we press "post". At least you can delete and edit a Facebook post.

Dollie that is good as it is helping you to interact.

I find it quite worrying that so many people interact via texting Facebook etc and not much communication done direct. It is way things have gone not sure is improvement.

I use f book emails etc and it is very useful good keep in touch on f book with people can't see regularly. Nothing should replace actually speaking to people which sadly it does seem to in some cases.

Is also horribly addictive! I take I great care to limit who can view my face book friends only and have blocked people also is important be aware what put on public page and I us p messages a lot.

Agree awful trouble can be caused if not careful.

i use the internet to interact with people as i dont see anyone socially its my link to the outside world.... i dont do facebook or twitter cant be doing with all that rubbish...

Perhaps with older people the internet is used because other means of communicating can be more difficult - it is a means to an end rather than an end in itself. And also generally for older people it is more about exchanging thoughts, ideas and opinions than about self-promotion.

Looking at younger people, however, I agree with a lot of what was said. It's as if these young people are, to some extent, living their lives through Facebook and other social networks. It's almost as if they are competing with one another to produce the most interesting and exciting profile, rather than making real, sincere friendships with people.

I look on the internet as my window on the world. I have real friends and family but I also value my virtual social group on Facebook. However, I don't "collect" friends - I only accept friendships from people I already know in the flesh. It is a wonderful way to stay in touch with otherwise distant friends. I agree that our age group probably has a more balanced view as we originated our real relationships before the internet was available and so we know how to function in the real world. I don't see why we can't have both.

Ana I agree, I also have no desire to join FB or Twitter.

I agree that FB can cause trouble between friends and/or family. I was thinking solely of internet access and the friendships that can be made on sites such as this one. I've never had any desire to join FB - or Twitter, for that matter!

Pluses and minuses surely? Many posts lamenting family rifts talk of posts on Facebook leading to major bust ups. I wonder if somne people (and I am talking about FB not GN) do post first and think a long time afterwards? I am also aware of disclosures in a public arena tantamount to shouting them out in a crowded train or putting them on the front page of a newspaper! Some people's grasp of privacy setting often seems minimal.
Another minus is that social media such as Facebook can make a person feel they are missing out on the full social life of others - and I have read comments like that on GN. Everybody always seems to be having such a *wonderful *time on FB - you never read of someone sitting alone at Christmas, cold, lonely and miserable do you?
The pluses clearly include the ability to communicate with friends anywhere in the world at any time of day and at no or minimal cost, unlike phone calls.
Unlike the "yoof" of today we are old enough to keep things within measure and I know I feel very cut off if I have no internet connection!!