Is your house a 'holding bay'?

great idea ginny, unfortunately DD2 is in Australia and I would need a whole crate at a cost of £?thousands to send her stuff to her! Still all here just in case she comes back ...

Some one I know had asked her sons many time to sort out what they wanted from the 'stuff' stored at her house. In the end she was so fed up with it she told them that they had one month to sort it or she would pack up the whole lot and send it to them, with the postage being taken off the money she would have given them for the next birthday. They were not to thrilled when it all turned up on their doorsteps.

Our house is so much of a holding bay, in more ways than one.

First we had to lug som stuff all the way here- daughters A'Level art work, primary school writing books (priceless- those family stories illustrated!), their wedding dresses, books and so much more.

Then we had to take on the stuff and furniture from my parents on their demise, some inherited from the previous generation (the last to be 'wealthy').... and our eldest says we must not on no account get rid of anything. Old photos from my grand-parents time, and quite a few antiques, dishes, paintings and the like. How on earth she will sort it out when the time comes, I've no idea. But it is her problem in this case

I have 3 wedding dresses in my attic (mine, DD1 and DD2), china I have never unpacked. Ditto books belonging to DD2. Children's clothes outgrown and now waiting to be passed on to younger siblings. Christmas decorations. I have nothing, apart from the wedding dress, belonging to DD1 as she lives abroad and went through everything and binned unwanted items and took the rest with her. DD2 has moved 3 times and more seems to land up in my attic.

Yes, FIL needs to start taking responsibility for his own actions - and junk. (but don't upset your own family, perhaps SIL is feeling a bit responsible for him?)

I'm going to keep nagging worrying away at them until they do, because they are missing out on things for themselves. They could be choosing better furniture from both us and other family members, and ebaying or bootfairing the rest. They need a holding bay of their own.

didn't realise the situation, janerowena, but still, could SIL have a word with his Mum and ask what she thinks, if she would worry or be upset if your DD contacted FIL and said she is boxing it up and disposing of it unless he comes to fetch it? It's bad enough storing your children's stuff, but you would think parents could sort themselves out if they are still fit enough to do so.

Do they still study the poetry of dead poets in English degrees these days?

Keep them, touch them, feel them, have happy memories and love the poetry.

I inherited lots of beautiful poetry books from a friend; the plan is to read them now I've retired, but I sometimes feel they should be with someone that's studying English at uni. Then again, someone in my family might need them one day, and they are very personal, with my friends name written in the front of each one and notes that he made.

margaretm74 It's SiL who is the problem, he doesn't want his father's hand forced. In fact he doesn't want to have to see him at all, that's the problem, as his dad left his Mum in a dreadful state financially with four children, not knowing that he had gone bankrupt. He can't forgive him and he only let him use their garage because his mum asked him to. I'm just being selfish - I have things I would like my daughter to be able to sell on and she doesn't have space to take and store them, so I am stuck with them until she can. It's all like one of those games where you have to move three little squares in order to get one in the right space.

And in the meantime, my son's supposed Great Book Clearout has yielded precisely 12. Not a lot of space gained there, then. I have just threatened him with doing it myself as soon as he has gone back next week. Or I could hold his vast pile of fluffy toys hostage.

When my son and family moved overseas they sold their house and put loads of stuff in our loft -all carefully boxed, labelled and listed. (Or rather I did.) I do wonder if they will want it all when they return or if some of it is there forever. Luckily we have a large loft. I'm dreading them asking for a specific item to be shipped out - not sure I'd want to tackle it again!

Great idea re the linen (sheet/duvet cover in the pillowcase) Grannyactivist! The ones that match, anyway.

My problem is looking through stuff and thinking - "I may need that one day" or "that could be worth something some time soon". But I won't and it probably won't. Have just started by sorting out some stuff for the charity shop.

janerowena - if your DD's FiL hasn't needed any of it in 5 years he probably doesn't remember what's there - so she could tell him firmly that he can come and help her box it up, take it away, dispose of it. Or else she will have to because they need the space. Does that sound harsh? I don't mean to, but surely he has got over the split by now and can move on.

He sounds as if he needs motivation (as do I).

Erm........I do other things too you know. I'm not a linen freak or anything.

Grannyknot I fold so many sheets that I can do any size in my sleep now. For your benefit I looked on youtube and my goodness, there are a lot of people who are interested in folding sheets!! Who would have guessed eh? The nearest to the way I do mine is this one; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iP66IMO_fJ0, but once you get the hang of it you don't need a flat surface to lay it on.
For a ga tip; when you've folded the sheet, lay it on top of the duvet cover it will be used with and all but one of the pillowcases for the number of pillows you use, then pop the folded pile inside the remaining pillow case. That way you simply take the pillowcase to the bed and it's already got the matching set inside it and you don't have to hunt through the linen cupboard at a later date. Simples
(And blow me down I thought I'd look that up on youtube and here it is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yWjMlzY-wq0 )

The answer to offspring's stuff is : tell them they have 2 months to remove it or it goes to EBAY/charity shop/tip

Some of us have no choice, Lona, although I share your panicky thoughts...

I can't read this thread any more, it's making me feel panicky.
How can you all bear all that 'stuff'?

Oddly enough our house is not cluttered, except for the dining hall. I cannot cope if surrounded by clutter. I regularly dispose of stuff on Freegle, ebay and at the local charity shop, getting rid of anything I can see no further use for, I am currently disposing of all the nursery equipment etc we accumulated when DGC were tiny. Now they sleep in beds, do not need pushchairs or high chairs, all that is going.

Everything we have has an active use. Its just that despite having a large work shed in the garden with power and light DH likes dickering doing a little bit, leaving it, coming back and doing a bit more, so he brings his projects into the house to do rather than keep walking up and down the garden and the dining table is such a useful large flat surface.......

For him the joy our new antiques hobby is that he can buy damaged items at auction, restore them to sell on and while it is wonderful to watch as doleful damaged items come back to life and beauty under his hands. I just wish he would do it in the shed!

I so recognise the piles of stuff syndrome although finally got tough with DC's possessions when they each reached 30. I Have sold my house and I have not yet found one to buy. So I'm likely to have to move into a rented house, or in the middle of the night I think it might be a tent. This means that I either need to reduce stuff by about 50% as I'm looking for a much smaller house or put it all into storage and sort it when I move into my new home. It's focusing my mind . I bought an incinerator last week and a lot went up in smoke BUT more stuff seems to creep from cellars and attics to take its place.

I have an attic full of left overs and a spare room with 'mum are these sellable' things and since Mum and Dad died the spare room also has a lot of their things to sort sell or keep, still have a gym bench plus all the trimmings, an American football full kit, car wheels, dozens of books, videos, cds records university stuff I cant think what else loads

ga please teach me to fold fitted sheets. I try, but it ends in a wrestling match and they get sort of rolled up and stuffed in the cupboard and the door is quickly shut

How do people bear the clutter? And how do you know where to find things? I'm currently in my New Year Cleaning and Sorting phase (it passes eventually) where all drawers are tidied, cupboards re-organised and any accumulated clutter is disposed of. I've finished for today, but on Thursday I shall assault the linen cupboard, which is getting out of hand. I'll be wrestling sheets and pillowcases into submission and forcing them to pair up with the appropriate duvet cover then sit in nice tidy piles until needed. I tackled some kitchen cupboards and a pile of table cloths today and they wore me out.

Kittylester I acknowledge a fellow feeling, we have a dining hall and that is where most of our stuff accumulates., just where it can be seen when we open the front door.

I did throw a hissy fit just before Christmas and we did clear it for the festive period but the room currently hosts a partially dismantled footstool awaiting recovering, a writing slope requiring a replacement leather work surface and three large sewing boxes, two awaiting final titivation and one that is just too big to take down to the shed the other end of our long garden.

Flickety that sounds like our house. We have a big dining room which only gets used for large gatherings but it generally has 'stuff' going from one child to another loitering. In fact, I heard one daughter telling her husband that they could store something in our dining room until they wanted it

I wouldn't mind but we have to walk through the dining room to get to the lounge and the stairs so we see any 'stuff' all the time!!