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Should I apologise ?

(67 Posts)
ginny Fri 21-Feb-14 12:39:00

Born between 1945 & 1965. Baby boomer who apparently had everything handed to them on a plate.

Was a stay at home Mum when my family were young. So of course was living off of her Husband and making no contribution to anything.

White British so probably racist and my forebears caused endless suffering to many.

English so should not be proud of anything this country has achieved.

Southerner so obviously posh and looks down on any one from further north than Watford Gap.

Coming up to retirement age (although the goal post keep changing.) so a terrible drain on all resources.

I could go on. All things that I have read / heard over the last few weeks.

There was I thinking that I was actually quite a decent hard working caring person.

apricot Sun 23-Feb-14 18:45:24

We oldies must not only apologise for being a drain on the NHS but should have our records stamped DO NOT RESUSCITATE as soon as we hit 55. Britain is broke and young families are surviving on food banks. The bankers aren't going to help so I feel I'd better go now, before I need the doctor more than once in two years. They can recycle my artificial hip afterwards.

Nonnie Sun 23-Feb-14 11:55:55

penstemmon not sure there is any point in them saving anyway. My savings are not keeping pace with inflation! I think that at some point in the not too distant future there will have to be a big shake up of some sort as there seems very little point in providing for your future at the moment unless you are one of the very few who has a final salary pension which is inflation linked.

Penstemmon Sat 22-Feb-14 19:50:47

I do not know what PC you mean ninny in context of Ginny's post.

I don't think we were particularly different in the UK . Women across Europe, US, Canada, Australia etc etc also mended and made do! In many places in the world they still do and far more. So I am not sure there is anything to be especially proud of. People lived there lives in the context of that particular era. There were still rich and poor, good, bad etc.

Life and expectations were different, some things better some things not.

My own children have worked hard and been fortunate to have been able to buy homes with their partners & have work that pays enough to live reasonably comfortable lives now. However I do worry for their old age as I think pensions for them will be minimal and they have no 'spare' to save!

annodomini Sat 22-Feb-14 19:10:48

I was married late - well, 29. I told ex-H that I hadn't worked all those years to have anything but an automatic washer.

Ana Sat 22-Feb-14 19:08:47

My parents had a Bendix washing machine in the late 50s. Not sure whether it was automatic or semi, but it was concreted into the kitchen floor to stop it wandering!

merlotgran Sat 22-Feb-14 18:58:57

She did, anno Sensible girl if she plundered her trust fund for a twin tub grin

Ariadne Sat 22-Feb-14 18:56:25

I would hate to go back to all that, and equally would hate my own children to have to scrape and save, although, to be honest, they do, in their own way. You cannot compare peaches and grapes (or something like that.)

We were poor but we were happy?
It was all character building?

No - but looking back makes me realise how lucky I am now. Which, I suppose, means that I have earned it all. Worked up to 12 / 15 hours a day once I got cracking. And my DC are doing that too.

petallus Sat 22-Feb-14 18:46:22

Well, I do think I was lucky compared with my own children and especially grandchildren.

Also more fortunate than the previous generation who had wars to fight in.

I don't think you can count things like making our own clothes and using Baby Burcos. Everyone did it then.

annodomini Sat 22-Feb-14 18:42:24

merlot, didn't Chummy come from a rather affluent background? My Mum kept the twin tub until she died in 1983, staunchly refusing to have an automatic. After she died, Dad went shopping and got himself a small automatic.

merlotgran Sat 22-Feb-14 17:29:01

We bought our first automatic washing machine in 1972. I was terribly excited and then bitterly disappointed that whereas I could do a whole week's wash in one session with the twin tub, I waited ages for just the children's clothes to be done in the front loader. The rest had to wait for another day.

merlotgran Sat 22-Feb-14 17:25:03

I noticed on Call The Midwife last Sunday that Chummy said she was going to get out the Twin Tub. A newly married couple with a twin tub in the 1950s?? shock My mother had a single tub with an electric wringer until the mid sixties.

specki4eyes Sat 22-Feb-14 16:50:12

In the 70s I made patchwork curtains for the nursery from cut up old clothes and papered my little boy's bedroom with cut out comic strip cartoons. The day I got my first front loader washer, my friend came round and we drew up two chairs and sat and marvelled at it. I stayed at home for 9 years to give my kids a start and made my own clothes and took holidays in Wales - one week in a rented caravan. My Dad serviced my very old car and I saved up the Family Allowance to buy the children's clothes. Us baby boomers - we had it so good!

rockgran Sat 22-Feb-14 13:59:13

I does seem unfair that we are not given credit for our ability to live frugally and save enough for a decent retirement. I have never been extravagant - small wedding, homemade clothes, making do and mending, etc. I shudder at the amount spent on weddings, clothes and "must have" items of some of today's youngsters. They don't seem to appreciate the pleasures to be had from working for something and then finally achieving a goal. I still can't bear to throw away food or indeed anything I can recycle in some way.
As a retired teacher I often get "oh, you'll have a huge pension then" which I find annoying as I actually get less in teacher's pension than I do in state pension. However, I seem to have plenty as I still have modest needs. Happiness isn't having a lot of money - it's having enough money. However, you need to know when enough is enough.

Nonnie Sat 22-Feb-14 12:33:45

What a shame that some feel the need to blame us because we have worked hard and been independent.

We had to save with a building society for 2 years before they would even consider us for a mortgage.

No central heating in our first house.

No carpets, tiles downstairs and floorboards upstairs.

Any cast off furniture was gratefully accepted, no cheap Ikea available in those days.

Telephone? When we finally got one it was a party line and we had to make sure the other party wasn't using it before making a call. Calls were much more expensive too.

Nurseries, what nurseries? If I'd wanted to go back to work after having a child there would have been no one to look after it.

Going out to eat? Birthdays or celebrations only.

DH used to repair our car, he was always patching up the rust in those day and on one occasion took out an engine and replaced it with a reconditioned one. He is not a natural engineer!

No, I don't think we had it easier than they do today, just different.

I remember when I used to go to tea at my friend's house that the person who had the last piece of bread and butter was wished 'A thousand a year and a handsome husband'. Anyone else remember that? It seemed such a lot to wish for.

ninny Sat 22-Feb-14 11:25:26

Hi ginny the problem now is that there is so much political correctness (pc) you are frightened to open your mouth. Why can't we be proud to be British and proud of our country and proud that we have worked, raised our children and perhaps own our own house.

The trouble with the young ones now (some of them) they want everything when they want it and get themselves into debt, instead of thinking I will save up for that and make do with what I've got for the time being.

ginny Sat 22-Feb-14 11:07:07

Like many of you ,we had a small but very happy wedding. No stag or hen nights. Flowers were restricted to just bride and bridesmaids plus Grooms buttonhole. I made my own cake, probably not the most professional but it tasted devine. We spent the 3 years before saving for a deposit on our first home. The only time we went anywhere other than just meeting up with friends was for birthdays. My first new outfits in that time was my bridal gown and going away outfit.Our house was furnished with hand me downs. The dining table and chairs passed on by my in-laws lasted us 30 years.

When our girls were small days out were at the park or the river with a fishing net, ball games and picnics. If we went shopping in town, no coffees or meals out, we would take sandwiches. These are times they talk of fondly and say the don't remember what clothes or gadgets they had , but, they always knew we were there and would play with them.

I think much of the struggle that occurs today is because there is far more belief that it is material goods that bring happiness.

shysal Sat 22-Feb-14 09:37:47

merlot, when I was heavily pregnant I also had a turquoise Crimplene dress, which I made for attending a christening as a godmother. It showed the outline of my belly button, so I stuck on a sticking plaster to flatten it!
I used to buy patterned and plain crimplene offcuts at the cattle market, which I made into all the clothes for my 2 daughters, born in '70 and '71. They remember loving the patchwork pinafore tops worn over trousers with coloured inserts in the flare. I was very proud of them. I do blush to think of the matching dresses I made for the 3 of us, and tie for hubby, made from a bargain length of fabric.
We had a dream of joint earnings of £1,000, which meant we could afford a £4,000 house. Our first house cost £1,400, on which we spent £1,000, which was furnished with hand-outs from family, and deck chairs. We didn't worry about it, it was fairly normal within our circle of friends.
I didn't have a washing machine until the girls were out of nappies, so used to boil up the Baby Burco every day, and hand scrub everything else at the sink.
The current generation expect to have it all from the start!

Aka Sat 22-Feb-14 09:24:35

As children we lived in the back of beyond in Scotland. We didn't have a car, telephone, central heating, electricity (had gas lamps inside and the lamplighter came round at dusk to light the outside lamp) or carpets. And if course no TV, washing machines, etc.
As young marrieds we didn't have our own house, disposable nappies, disposable incomes, holidays abroad. We had one old banger we shared between us (now mainly 2-car families) and we started off with a bed bought by my in-laws and furniture lent by family.

Our generation is the new 'whipping boy' encouraged by remarks made by politicians and the press. I'm wondering where this is all leading. At least NICE have made a stand against the latest bid to brush us under the carpet or usher us through the pearly gates before we drain the economy any more.

JessM Sat 22-Feb-14 08:55:52

Your microscope sounds like a great thing to hand on to a scientifically minded grandchild one day galen

annsixty Sat 22-Feb-14 08:53:08

This thread reminds me of a TV sketch which started "when we were young we were so poor....." and ended with "you had a cardboard box to live in? we had a hole in the ground".

Soutra Sat 22-Feb-14 00:00:02

The thrill when ny monthly pay slip showed £100!! We scrounged cast-offs from family for all our furniture, except for our bed which we bought with a wedding present cheque from DH's god father and bought cheap sisal carpetting squares to sit in the middle of our attic bedsit + kitchen floors with the lino round the edge. However, to be fair, I dont think any of our DDs are profligate as they are very canny and would rather wait for the right thing (they have better taste than I ever did) instead of "making do" as we did. Autres temps, autres moeurs!

Galen Fri 21-Feb-14 23:59:31

I have a lovely old microscope, circa 1920 that was my fathers at medical school. It's a lovely old brass and black thing in a polished wooden case.
I'd love to have it on display like your old sewing machines! But,
I'm worried about my clumsy cleaner. I should think its worth some thing, but what?
Father bought it second hand.
Three generations of this family have used it to date!

penguinpaperback Fri 21-Feb-14 23:50:06

Our first home together, I do remember other friends were the same, carpet for the living room and after this anywhere else when we could afford it with our bedroom last. Lots of highly patterned swirls too. I wish I could re-capture the innocence I felt at the time. I don't think I had a cynical bone in my body. Unlike now. sad

Elegran Fri 21-Feb-14 23:47:44

Sounds like my ankle-length slinky number in heavy black crepe, Tegan. It was that rare thing, a garment that goes together right first time, and it fitted perfectly. The skirt skimmed the high waist from a fitted V-necked sleeveless empire bodice and then flared out. It was fully lined with nylon jersey and hung beautifully.

I wore it with only a soft bra underneath - no knickers to avoid vpl. It looked a knockout.

Those were the days!

Tegan Fri 21-Feb-14 23:30:22

Oh I'd love a treadle sewing machine. I've got a very old hand one that lives on the piano. I haven't got a clue how to use it but I find it a thing of beauty [and awe]. Like old typewriters. I do have a dress in the wardrobe that I made years ago and I still can't believe that I actually made it; it's quite exquisite. In fact I'm going to have a look at it now. If I saw it for sale as a retro garment I'd probably buy it. I may try to slim back into it although, with it being my handiwork I'd worry about it bursting at the seams if I sat down. I wish I knew how to put photos on here; honestly, you'd all swoon grin.