other women!

Elegran, sounds like the committee of the charity I used to work for....I would add that at the last meeting I was at, three of them went to sleep!

I loved your post Elegran, very Vicar of Dibley

When I joined a school governing body (all male to that point) I really did feel like the V of Dibley. Fortunately worst offenders left. (One because i told the local authority it was not helpful to have an LA governor who wrote letters to the local paper criticising the school!!!!! So they did not renew him for a second term. )

The most heart sinking sentence is:

Point of order Madam Chair

, Elegran!

All so familiar, Elegran. Ours were like the parish meetings in the Vicar of Dibley

Fantastic Elegran

Wonderful description, Elegran!

I was the only woman on a large committee which organised a works leisure club. Meetings were hilarious. Only about half of them would turn up to each meeting. The chairman was deaf, and could only hear those nearest to him. He wrote his own minutes, so while he was making notes those at the other end of the table discussed everything without him. The minutes bore no resemblance whatsoever to what had actually happened, but that didn't matter, because at the next meeting those who had been present were usually absent, and those who had not made it to the previous meeting turned up and reversed all the decisions they had missed.

I wouldn't accuse only women of dragging out committee meetings unnecessarily. In my experience, some of the worst culprits have been men who like the sound of their own voices and who focus on minor or irrelevant details, to the detriment of the main purpose of the meeting. Strong chairmanship is needed, including an ability to tell them - ever so politely - to cut the c**p. I have ceased to be on committees and, for that reason, avoid AGMs just in case someone wants to twist my arm!

I've become a volunteer at a type of museum (can't say too much for fear of identification)! I've been quite happily 'being there', walking about and generally doing what volunteers do. However, I was persuaded to attend a meeting to discuss the founding of a committee. I was quite amused to discover how suddenly quite mild-mannered ladies became quite stroppy and wanted to take over certain areas of the volunteering group, criticising the other volunteers - which is when I made my excuses and said that I couldn't be involved, due to lack of time, and the fact that I didn't 'know' committee stuff!
I actually now quite dislike some of these people - and what's so good about it is that I don't HAVE to be part of it, because I don't get paid!

Good point nonnie I have not quite acquired the knack of keeping my head down though at the critical moment! And when I see faffing and fussing and vagueness I unfortunately tend to offer rather than see them go round in ever- decreasing circles. In a small community it can be hard to escape and I do actually like my book club friends when they are not floundering in "senior moments".

Soutra maybe at this time in your life you are just not a committee type? We did loads of things earlier in our lives and just simply outgrew it. Now we will help with anything on an ad hoc basis but not actually join. We are happy to donate the 'subs' and do anything else we are asked to but do not feel committed. It is so good to feel free.

I think your idea of cutting and running is a good one jess I could plead what Terry Wogan used to call " a subsequent engagement". Some people do have too much time on their hands and a "meeting" makes them feel busy.

Or once the bit you like is over, say "Oh I have to dash because (fill in white lie) - let me know what you decide and I'll just go along with it"

Spot on Mamie.

Soutra I agree with what some others have said. Sit back and enjoy the show.

I can offer advice from our Village Events Committee. We meet at 8pm after everyone has done the milking and eaten the soup. We gather at someone's house (in rotation). There are four events every year so there are four planning meetings.
Every village event is exactly the same every year. We spend a maximum of 5 minutes deciding if we need an extra roll of tablecloth or 23 tins of haricot beans instead of 24.
We spend the next three hours eating and drinking.
As you all know, the French have got their work / life balance perfectly organised.

Gransnet threads work like those committees sometimes.

A camel is a horse designed by a committee!

The trouble with most of the committees I've been on is that ideas are discussed, plans are made, everybody's ready to move on - and then someone asks some damn fool question that takes us right back to the beginning again!

Well it happens doesn't it. Everybody is an expert.

A COMMITTEE IS A GROUP OF PEOPLE WHO TAKE HOURS TO WRITE MINUTES

The group I belong to are fine and great at organising events. However, having been on committees etc for years, I avoid going on the committee nowadays, although they know I am available to help out if needed.

I make sure the WI committee meetings are not more than 1 1/2 hours MAX! We've got through the wine by then!

Yes, it needs someone with a bit of get up and go who can lead and be firm with all the ditherers!Any meetings can be tedious and drag on all evening otherwise.Village Hall Committees spring to mind, also W.I. It's not dealing with practical matters that make you unravel mentally, but all the waffle, until you could scream 'don't any of you have a life?!!!'

I am absolutely with Penstemmon. Any group like this needs a chairwoman/man who will guide and manage the group and someone who minutes decisions.

I have belonged to the committee of one organisation for over 20 years. I have been variously chairman, secretary and treasurer and I am currently none of these. We have had a succession of chairmen & women who have been excellent at controlling meetings, guiding discussion with the leadership skills to stop anything becoming acrimonious. The committee has gone through many changes of membership but has remained united, friendly and effective.

On the other hand DH once belonged to a committee with a totally ineffective chairman (it was a man). Every committee meeting required three evenings. they never got beyond matters arising on the first meeting. Nothing was ever agreed, or if it was the next meeting rethought it. At the end of the first year he resigned.