#everydayageism

And what's happened to Julie???

(from the GN Newsletter " Best wishes from Cari, Gigi, Lucy, Emily and Lautel " )

Poor Alie.

And you thought you could get that by the eagle-eyes of Gransnet Gigi, without us noticing?!

Just noticed in Sainsbury's.....there is one till man (not particularly good looking) who always seems to be chatting with any young woman in front.....gets to me and he turns silent.

Not that I am interested - but it does get a bit obvious.

It's very weird though. Wonder what happened. I think they had a change of heart at HQ.

Phew! Thought I was getting delusional...

There was a new one this morning. Had just one post on it. Don't know where it's gone.

Or is this it? I could have sworn there was another one this morning... If not, why's this one been resurrected?

What's happened to the new thread?

I agree that sometimes ageism is alive and well. I think this can be endorsed by councils/businesses providing specific events for older people. If we do not mix socially with a wide age range people can become isolated, especially if mobility /health becomes an issue. Our local WI has women from ages 27-80+ and we all have a good laugh together. Some drivers have begun to share lifts to supermarkets, trips out etc to less mobile friends etc.

My 87 year old neighbour is a warm and friendly person with lively and interesting conversation. She is not in 100% health but she does not let that take over her life. I saw her yesterday off on a coach trip to the seaside 'with the old ladies' & we laughed that she did not count herself in that group! However some older people are just miserable people who got old & do not attract friendship or support. You can be old at 20!

As this thread has been resurrected, I thought I'd just let you know that I got the first volunteer position I mentioned above (my preffered choice) so withdrew from the second one! Just waiting for training now! So no ageism there - unless they are just desperate

I with several others was made redundant about three years ago and after several applications for jobs and three interviews it was very clear to me ( and made clear in one interview) that I was not going to be considered due to my age.
It seems to me that as soon as you turn a certain age you have lost your marbles and are treated very differently. I do not like it and feel quite sensitive to the terms and names also used for older people.
I started my own business on line and sell both here in the UK and globally.
Some think it is a little hobby! it is not and I am fully committed and love it. Just wish I had done it years ago.

My experience as a Home Visitor for Age UK was that the biggest cause of loneliness in old age is disability. For many people, particularly in rural areas, and I include my parents-in-law in this group, social life was on the street, you met neighbours and friends as you walked to and from the shop, at church, village social events, and on the bus. They were rarely invited indoors, that was family only.

Once you were house-bound your social life was gone, because social contacts were never invited into the house, so never called either. Most I met had supportive families, but unless they lived close they only saw them at weekends. Other problems arose when the older person did not admit to themselves, let alone anyone else just what problems they have. I once had to abort an Attendance Allowance application because the applicant told me about the problems she had but when I wrote them down and read them back to her, which I was obliged to do, promptly denied everything she said and claimed I had made it up!

We also must remember that some elderly people in their prime were not nice people, were not good parents and to a certain extent brought their problems on themselves. One elderly man, weeping for his wonderful wife and unvisited by his children I learned later terrorised his wife and children with his violence and had recently been banned from local pubs for threatening people with his walking stick. It is not surprising he was alone and unvisited.

If you read my post you will see that I wasn't referring to the present generation of 'elderly' people - I imagine, though am willing to be corrected, that the callers to Silverline are mainly aged 75+

No, I didn't see that in your post but I may have misread it. The article didn't state the ages of those callers (my brother maintains that whatever age someone is, it is always someone at least 10 years older that is considered old!). My mother is 78 and still goes to nightclubs! She goes off around the world at the drop of a hat - not all are as fortunate (in every respect) as she is. Your posts, as I read them, tended to address businesses and others paying for (for want of a better phrase) luxuries for the older generation.

Loneliness, anxiety and depression affect all age groups, not just the elderly.

I would agree with that but with the caveat that older people (I'm talking 55+) do not usually have the 'luxury' of being in a position to change their lives as much as the younger folks can who, in the main, have the prospect of employment, youth and health more on their side than many older people do.

Well of course you are right, Printmiss, and I think the 1944 Education Act changed many people's lives for the better. Also, society doesn't change overnight, but gradually evolves.
But I do think that there was a tipping point in the 60s when it suddenly became the norm, rather than the exception, to question and rebel against authority in a way that previous generations, and those following, haven't done.

I have often felt guilty about the way some of the 'baby boomer' generation have grown up, because I feel that I (or my generation) have allowed some things to happen, of which I am quite ashamed, although there was very little I could do about it, because life over the past fifty years or so has changed so dramatically, at an alarming rate. However, jane I wonder if I might take some of the credit for the fact that there are some 50-60 year olds now-a-days who are able to question what is happening in the world, because my generation was the one that told their children to 'go for it', and tried to provide the opportunities for that to happen.

Hollydaze If you read my post you will see that I wasn't referring to the present generation of 'elderly' people - I imagine, though am willing to be corrected, that the callers to Silverline are mainly aged 75+.

I was suggesting that the generation who grew up in the 60's (now aged 60+) are very different in attitude from older generations - more proactive, more computer-literate and more able to shape their lives in the way they choose. We are the ones who have questioned everything in our lives, from social values to authority in all its forms.
There's no reason why those attitudes shouldn't persist into old age.
Loneliness, anxiety and depression affect all age groups, not just the elderly.

We probably have what you would call a passive life When. because that is the way we like it, we have done our bit in expressing views and initiating things (Sorry, I am not saying that you are finding fault with that - just expressing a view!). This has happened almost without us being aware, just because we have aged, not all that gracefully, I might say, and have had to slow down. We do not have any battles to fight, and I suppose we are in a state of 'I am all right jack" I feel for the younger people of today, and wonder what is in store for them.

I'm not sure we need these well-meaning souls to organise our lives for us - we'll just carry on doing things our way and for ourselves.

What about those who have no-one to do things with?

'Britain has become “too busy” to find time for older people, the presenter and campaigner Esther Rantzen has claimed.

She said more than 100,000 calls have been received by The Silver Line helpline, which she set up six months ago.

The former presenter of That’s Life said the service, set up as a “ChildLine” for older people, was having a “transformational” effect on thousands and had highlighted a “huge and unmet need”.

Most callers lived alone and more than half, 53 per cent, said they had no one else to speak to other than the helpline, a survey found. Nearly half of callers often spent more than a day without talking to anyone, and more than one in 10 often spent more than a week without having a conversation.

Of the 100 callers questioned, 20 per cent said they were not in touch with their family or had no family. More than two thirds said they were reluctant to ask their families for help because they did not want to be a “burden.”

A think tank earlier this week urged the Government to do more to tackle loneliness amongst the over-65s who cannot use the internet.

Approximately four out of 10 people aged 65 or over do not have access to the internet at home, with more than five million never having used the internet, putting them at risk of isolation and loneliness, according to a report by the think tank.'

I have been informed by an MHK that this is a particular problem on the Island:

The report claimed one in 10 people are believed to make a visit to their GP because they are lonely.

www.telegraph.co.uk/health/elderhealth/10859491/Esther-Rantzen-Britain-is-too-busy-to-speak-to-older-people.html

Well said, Jane. I think back to how my mum lived her last 20 odd years and my lifestyles and expectations are completely different. She wouldn't express political views, didn't want to initiate anything, was happy chatting to the neighbours or going to the Women's Guild evenings and would wait for my dad to drive her to visit family. A passive life in many respects and not that different from my grandmother's.

Noticed 'Mumsnet' quoted again in the newspapers. Funny how whenever get the cutting edge surveys on Gransnet, nor do we get discussed in the papers in other but a patronising way.

More public ageism!

If we had an inclusive society that stopped segregating people by age group, we wouldn't need these separate services for each age group. As I said before many of the improvement suggested for old people, would be greeted with delight by all the other age groups in Society that would also benefit from them.

Most families consist of people of every age from the very young to the old who live and integrate We do not put benches in our gardens with older members specifically in mind, or if we do it is usually because they like the garden or enjoy watching birds, not just because they are old.

Why can society not work in a similar fashion?

Gadabout

The Joseph Rowntree Foundation's report on minimum income standards, mentioned on that thread, refers to "........pensioners’ growing emphasis on social participation and ensuring that their needs are fully met. Today’s pensioners seem to be rejecting traditional self-denying attitudes associated with older people".

I think that's quite apposite - the generation that grew up in the 60s seem to have had the knack of making their mark and making society adapt to them, rather than them fitting in to society's norms.
I'm not sure we need these well-meaning souls to organise our lives for us - we'll just carry on doing things our way and for ourselves.

JESS , he & you should be very proud, well done him!!

Some of the worst attitudes I come across are from my mother, aged 90 in her rudeness & derision about other old people who aren't as active as she is.