Feeling Feminine?[hmmm]

When I dress, I never ask anyone "how does this look"? but I do know this doesn't work for everyone and it's actually none of my business how other people dress, it's their choice.

If this were a century ago or more ago, would we be asking whether corseting the body so tightly that we were likely to faint at the least exertion made us feel feminine?

I think that people should be free to wear clothes that they choose without fear of being ridiculed, abused or judged. Also that the choice is made with understanding of the context of external pressure. Too many people are quick to judge (me too sometimes) a book by its cover..or a person by their dress/appearance.

Just catching up after a week with all the family down here!

merlot you made a comparison between high heels and foot binding - did you, or anyone else, ever read "A Visit from the Footbinder" by Emily Prager (sp?) it is a superb story, but the from cover of the first edition illustrates your point perfectly. I will see if I can find it.

I agree with everyone that it is how you feel that makes you feel good, and that what you wear is your choice. Feeling feminine? Not sure what that means; I am because I am a woman.

I never even think about whether I am feminine or not ... I just be me.

It depends on your definition of "feminine". The industry standard for "feminine" has varied over the centuries. Does it mean that you feel as though you are a woman, or that you are attractive to men? If you consider the two to be be synonymous, then is attracting men the only use for women?

If so, then advertising would dictate that the erogenous zones are exaggerated - walking so as to wiggle the rear end invitingly (high heels), showing the legs as far up as the crutch (miniskirt), exposing the nipples (Egyptian court dress), making the skin look as young and nubile as possible (makeup), outlining alternative entry points in bright colour (lipstick) And avoid any suggestion that you might wish to do more with your life than adore him.

But clearly, if that is so, the best way to be/feel feminine is never to wash "down below" . The smell is designed to turn men on.

Ah now what about this? My sister and I have a running conversation about what to wear in bed - I'm the floaty nighty type and she is PJs. I like the feminine 'feel' of a nighty and think PJs a bit boyish or when covered in lovely cuddly teddy bears etc a bit childish. Also DH likes me to wear a silky nightie - enough info I suspect. She says that's the very reasons she wouldn't wear one and wears PJs to keep her DH at bay. Any thoughts on nighties?

That is strange SUE you must have read my mind , I was thinking of starting a thread on Nighties - V - PJ"S.

I wear a nightie always, Summer and Winter, SATINEY in Summer, COSY- FLEECEY Winter.

BIG CHEESY

Now that is funny, elegran . The ridiculousness of it alongside the truth of it make it so.

I wear a silk nightie, camisole type, for purely practical reasons. When I hit the menopause I found they were the only thing that was comfortable.

But I do have two pairs of cosy PJs for very cold weather or for when staying somewhere where the heating might be less than optimal - one Cath Kidston pair with big flowers, and one rather masculine pair with maroon and blue stripes. If you look at the Toast catalogue, the models manage to look feminine/sexy even in men's PJs, shirts, pullovers and trousers.

So it's not what you wear, but the way you wear them.

I think Zandra Rhodes was careless in her choice of words. 'Glamorous' might have been a better one to use than 'feminine'.

What is the difference between glamour and femininity?
Where's Glammanana when you need her?

I wear PJs (camisole top and sort of jersey bottoms) unless it is absolutely boiling hot then I wear a white cotton nightie. DH and I have five children - just saying!!

I just love Gransnet for this sort of discussion. There are always so many comments that make me smile and laugh. Great comment from Aka re La Woodall. I have three daughters and would question my parenting if they felt the need to wear something in particular to 'feel feminine '. We all wear a mix of heels and flats depending on where we are,what we are doing and what suits the outfit. Er.....isn't that just called dress sense??

I wear PJs when I get up, before getting dressed, if I am having a lazy morning!

For 'coolth' in bed I wear cotton nightdresses. I do not like the feel of silk against my skin!

There was a work do that it would have been surly not to attend but it was entitled 'Red Carpet Evening' and everyone was expected to 'dress up'.

I stuck a glitterey & sequinned bolero over a LBD andwore some heeled sandally type shoes & decided to have my hair straightened. All my colleagues walked right by me and did not recognise me

You cant beat a classic LBD- elegant, simple, classic- bet you looked great.

I have 3 daughters (one called Susannah!!) so have no need of advice from Trinny and Susannah - there comments are much more forceful

there their

I'm a silk or satin nighty person. Because I have difficulty turning, silk bottom sheets + silk/satin nighty make it easier.
As I'm a widow nobody else sees me (except for the butler when I get an upgrade on cruises)

Does a silk under sheet really make a difference to turning over? I struggle to turn over and frequently wake up my poor DH when I do so.

I am still trying to work out what we mean by "feminine". Clearly a century ago most of the things we take for granted today - driving, working for a living, sports, wearing trousers of all sorts, living alone by choice, having our own mortgages, having the right to vote- all of these and many more were regarded as improper for the 'weaker sex" - as if! So what is feminine? Frilly, fluffy, girly, 50's little woman?huh! I don't think so!! Does wearing high heels and wiggling your bum make you more of a woman? Hardly! My last greyhound bitch Icy used to do that to boy dogs and we all know the annoying giggly type of woman who comes to life snd scintillates all over the place when and only when theres 'a man around. Nancy Dellogliolio typifies that type for me while someone like Diana Rigg has more sex appeal in her little fingenl

"finger!"

Like your style Soutra!

Cotton jersey nightshirts for me. I can't stand being restricted by PJ trousers but I have to have my shoulders covered and a short sleeve.

This has been mentioned a couple of times now so I have to say: wearing high heels doesn't make it obligatory to wiggle your bum - it's like saying that wearing flat shoes makes you stomp!

If you have misshapen/damaged feet from shoes, it's because you wore shoes that were too narrow or too small for your feet.

High heels do change the way you hold yourself and balance, though, and really high ones do make you walk completely differently.