Feeling Feminine?[hmmm]

What does 'attractive to the opposite sex' mean exactly?

It means that those who are attractive to the opposite sex get more attention from the opposite sex than those who aren't.

HOLLY

is the frilly helpless woman the only kind that is sexy and attractive to men, or are capable, no-nonsense women equally sexy and attractive? And if they are, then surely they too can be defined as feminine?"

Why do you see the two as inseparable? I am very feminine to look at but I am hardly helpless or backward in coming forward. I think it's a strange notion to have that being feminine in appearance also means you have to be weak in mind and body

Nonu

Although I will add the rider, that I DO FEEL MASCULINITY< IS ABOUT SEXINESS

Of course it is - here's a question: who is more sexy and masculine - Errol Flynn or Mr Bean

Atqui

sexy rather than feminine

Isn't that a whole new discussion though? What is considered sexy may not always be considered feminine.

HOlly 13.44 I like your reply.

13.45.
Neither,for me Robert De Niro OR RYAN Gosling spring to MY mind , however, I digress and don"t wish to be TOLD OFF, not by YOU I might add.
LOL

I think it's a question of self confidence and attitude.

Not always: Rebecca Adlington has oodles of confidence and a lovely attitude but she has had some very derogatory labels affixed to her purely because of her physical appearance (not feminine, not pretty, etc).

Nonu - I don't consider either of them to be fanciable either (although in my younger years, I did have a boyfriend who looked like a young Errol Flynn!) but I was taking extremes to prove a point (and I took the age range of GN into account also - that many may have liked Errol Flynn).

For me Ryan Gosling is too baby-faced, I quite like the old square jaw macho type (exception being David Beckham though ) and I can't abide weedy men (in appearance or attitude).

You are quite right about appearance having nothing to do with femininity or sexiness, Holly, but neither has it anything to do with unfemininity.

Having thought about it further, I suggest that
'femininity is the culture of being female'

There are the physical attributes that lead to a person being assigned the female gender then there are all the cultural appurtenances that are attached to these physical attributes by the society within which any individual woman lives within. Definitions of femininity vary across time, ethnicity and social group. Learned helplessness was much prized in Victorian middle class women. FGM is considered essential in some cultures still and the culture of sexiness would be anathema to most mainstream religions.

That is a good definition, FlicketyB

cultural appurtenances that are attached to these physical attributes by the society

Very true - todays skinny women would not have been considered feminine or 'fanciable' not too long ago, a bit of chubbiness seemed to be the order of the day. Also - tanned skin! Very common and probably meant you were a labourer of some description, pale skin was considered very attractive.

The concept of femininity changes over time - which is why it's impossible to say that femininity and feminine are one and the same thing when, clearly, they are not.

You are quite right about appearance having nothing to do with femininity or sexiness

I don't think I said that.

I thought that was implied in your post of 14 13:44:12 and was agreeing. Sorry if I misinterpreted. so does that mean that you do think that appearance has a bearing on femininity or sexiness? Or that good looks or choice of clothes influence sexual success?

I think appearance has a bearing on femininity/sexiness (not sure I'd group those two together though) as far as a lot of people are concerned.

Bear in mind there are some women who go out of their way not to look feminine (in the links I gave, the women, in the articles, stated that that was their intention).

HOLLY----13.54

That is wise on your part --taking the age range of G/N, probably a lot did like Errol Flynn.

Reuben is my favourite artist. His women are my size! He obviously liked them like that!

I think a lot of men do Galen
I don't think I've ever felt bothered about being attractive to the opposite sex in general.
Just one or two in particular.

I wear trousers, tee-shirts, flat lace-up shoes with socks and often go without any makeup or jewellery at all.

However, I still feel quite feminine.

Though not sexy. I've never wanted to look sexy.

You sound like me, Petallus except that I never wear makeup or jewellery, apart from my wedding ring and my late husband's signet ring. I feel quite feminine, too, and I have never had any difficulty attracting the men I wanted to attract. I don't know about all the rest.

I do sense, however, that at least two of the men I have met socially since I was widowed would have no hesitation in coming forward should I give an indication that I would like closer contact.

That's probably because they really like you, Elegran.

Well, I enjoy wearing nice clothes, make-up jewellery and perfume, oh, how I love my perfume, but the reason I do this is mainly cultural, in that my mother and maternal grandmother were always well turned out, but neither they or I did/do it to attract men or even to conform to cultural standards of femininity. We do it within the generally accepted fashions of our times for our own satisfaction. I have always been interested in clothes and colour and enjoy seeing what other people wear and how they put clothing together and enjoy doing it myself.

I agree FlicketyB and I think it's often been said that women dress to please or impress other women, not men!

I do not dress to please or impress other women, I do it just to please myself.