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Don't mess with old people!

(10 Posts)
Mishap Sat 08-Nov-14 12:03:50

The Taxman decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the Tax office.

The taxman was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his accountant.

The taxman said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, Which you explain by
saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the tax office finds that believable.'

'I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration?'

The taxman thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'

Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand pounds that I can bite my own eye.'

The taxman thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The taxman's jaw drops.

Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand pounds that I can bite my other eye.'

Now the taxman can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Grandpa removes his false teeth and bites his good eye.

The stunned taxman now realises he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's accountant as a witness.
He starts to get nervous.

'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you six thousand pounds that I can stand on this side of your
desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'

The taxman, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old man could
possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach
the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much pees all over the taxman's desk.

The taxman leaps with joy, realising that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.

But Grandpa's own accountant moans and puts his head in his hands.

'Are you okay?' the taxman asks.

'Not really,' says the accountant. 'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me
twenty-five thousand pounds that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!'

Don't Mess with Old People . . . .
We may be old, but we are not stupid!

petallus Sat 08-Nov-14 12:16:59

Love it!

Nonu Sat 08-Nov-14 12:26:54


shysal Sat 08-Nov-14 12:45:14


MiniMouse Sat 08-Nov-14 13:24:19

Brilliant grin

Galen Sat 08-Nov-14 13:28:44


POGS Sat 08-Nov-14 14:42:04

Good one Mishap. grin

Kiora Sat 08-Nov-14 14:45:42

Titter titter

tiggypiro Sat 08-Nov-14 15:16:48

Sounds like Grandpa is just trying to grow old (dis)gracefully. May we all try and have such moments - even if they are just in our dreams !

FlicketyB Sat 08-Nov-14 16:28:10

DH always says 'Old age and treachery will beat youth and enthusiasm any day'