Calling cyclists

I think the one second from right is showing the others which way to go.

And the one second from the left must be feeling the cold a bit!

Yes. Some have been more blessed than others.

They go in pubs like that.

Not round here they don't!

My 64yr old brother cycles in lycra [yuck] Even if he is very fit in the old fashioned sense.

Sometimes I'm a pedestrian, and I hate cyclists who sneak up behind, and drivers who won't slow down when I'm crossing the road. Sometimes, I'm a cyclist. Then I hate drivers - a generally inconsiderate bunch, and pedestrians are just in the way, especially on the footpath where I have to ride to avoid lunatic drivers. The rest of the time I'm a driver, and can't stand anything that stops me from getting where I need to be in a hurry, especially cyclists and pedestrians. Heyho!

There are cyclists who I wish would get off their bikes, they remind me of those people who stand at the front of aerobic and yoga classes. You know, the ones who have been attending classes since they were two, are best friends with the teacher and know all the steps. Their counterpart cyclist friends wear Lycra, have smug looks on their faces and don't bother to ring their bell to warn you, instead just call out in a smart voice "passing on your right." They pass by at breakneck speed and give me a fright even though I have been warned.

Not going to give up cycling from Australia.

What do you get if you cross a bike with a flower? Bicycle petals.
Why can't a bicycle stand up on it's own? Because it's two tyred.
Why can't an elephant ride a bicycle? Because he doesn't have a thumb to ring the bell.
What is a ghost proof bicycle? One with no spooks.

There's another rather sexist one about a police officer stopping a man riding a tandem on his own and asking if he realises that his wife fell off some miles back. The man replies 'oh, thank goodness, I thought I'd gone deaf'. I offer that one with apologies.

And I hope you don't think these should really be on the humour thread.

I do agree about lycra, it looks horrible and it makes the wearers smug or that's how they look anyway.

I love the tandem joke most of all

I hate cyclists who cycle at 10mph in the middle of the road rather than towards the kerb causing a fuming slow moving convoy to form behind them.

I know it's impossible to cycle really close to the kerb but they don't have to take over the road.

I am not a cyclist, but I have a few cyclist friends, and even family, and my ethical question is this; One of them cycles everywhere, but on Friday takes the bus! The other friend uses her car every now and then , and a family member has been known to use the train once a week. So, can we call them true cyclists?It worries me, not knowing.

I cycle and I drive a car, when I am riding my bike I am a cyclist, when I am driving my car I am a driver...

Simples! Now, why didn't I think of this?

That's a cop-out Faye you're not a real cyclist if you enjoy the occasional car ride - bit like a 'veggie' who has a sneaky bacon sarnie

When I ride my bike to go somewhere, I am a cyclist. When I am sitting here Gransnetting, I am a Gransnetter.

#manyparts

If you recycle, you are a recycler not a recyclist; if you cycle (a bike), you are a cyclist not a cycler. Just wondering .

Riverwalk maybe I am all things ie a cyclist who drives, a Gransnetter who cycles but I could never be a vegetarian who eats meat.

Please, cyclists, keep off the pavements. Do not whizz and weave through people who are trying to carry shopping, watching toddlers, pushing prams, walking the dog etc. I cannot hear you approaching even if you ring a bell, because i am profoundly deaf. I have had several occasions where a cyclist has missed me by inches and given me an awful shock. I do not have eyes in the back of my head.
Pavements are for pedestrians.
Roads are for cyclists.

Well said mrsmopp I totally agree. If only we can convince Jingl to get back onto the road and leave the pavements to us non cyclists, we will have done a good job.
I have toyed with the idea of becoming a cyclist, I must admit, but then it rains and I long for the comfort of the car[ I just can't live without the car] so I will stay a non cyclist.

I love my bike and use it whenever I can. As a driver too I obey the same rules of the road. I have a bell, lights and even a mirror, don't wear lycra but do wear a bright yellow flurescent jacket. Perhaps a driver who is not also a cyclist can explain to me why so many drivers think it is fine to pass me with only 6'' to spare.

It was the same when I was riding my pony. I used to stick my whip out to try and make them give me more room and once it hit the car which was passing me. And that was on an open road with lots of room.

I know I've gone on about this before but I do wish cyclists would use the cycle track , provided at great cost, rather than the road. It's a road I use frequently and there's nearly always a cyclist on it, especially at weekends. The cycle track cost thousands. Why won't they use it? Safer for them and better for drivers.

I do not whizz and weave. And I get off and push the bike where there is people.

Imagine if pedestrians all decided to stroll along the road instead of along the pavement. Drivers would be sounding their horns, swearing, yelling at people to get off the road, get out of the way, get back on the pavement where you belong, you are holding up the traffic etc etc. But pedestrians don't stroll along the middle of the road, they are sensible and they know their place is on the pavement.
So why can't cyclists understand that pavements are not for them; they should be either in a cycle lane, or on the road. What is so hard about that?
What does the highway code say? It's illegal to cycle on pavements, surely?

Just to answer my own question:

You MUST NOT cycle on a pavement.
Laws HA 1835 sect 72 & R(S)A 1984, sect 129. 65

I know that, strictly, speaking, cyclists shouldn't by law ride on the pavement. Personally, it doesn't bother me if they do, provided they cycle very carefully and slow right down when they pass pedestrians.

I'm not putting up a defence for my own behaviour - I haven't cycled for 50 years and would be far too frightened to cycle on London roads, and probably too much of a danger to pedestrians if I rode on the pavement.

The same applies to mobility scooters. Most people are considerate but there are always the few that are not.