Spending Christmas alone?

I wonder if there is a polite way to refuse a Christmas invitation. My cousin is I her mid 80s and, although she loves her daughters she finds it difficult to stay with them. She feels the cold, she finds it hard to hear when they all speak and she feels guilty that her Sil does not have a drink so that he can run her home. She knows it would spoils their Christmas if she refuses but she would be happier alone.

I'm like you Nina*. DD2 is on her own and has no-one to be with at Xmas so I leave my partner in France and come back to spend a few days with her.

DD1 takes GGS to her in laws in Wales so we only see them a couple of days before Xmas to exchange gifts. I have been invited to join them in the past but they are already a large family and I feel like a tolerated spare part.

I wonder how many other parents are the same as us, feeling they have to spend it with their single adult kids?

I really don't like this time of year at all.

I would love to go away for Christmas but would feel really mean leaving DS who still lives at home, on his own. The only person he could spend it with is DD but that's complicated.

I have always envied those with big families who have parties. However, I'm now mature enough to realise that what sounds like great fun isn't always the case.

As long as we spend a day all together over Christmas and New Year I'm happy to have a quiet day on 25th. We are all getting together at mine on Boxing Day.

Those of you happy to be alone. Don't let others persuade you otherwise. Those of you who are not happy at the prospect

My neighbour's husband died a few years ago (they were in their 70s then). He had been an invalid for years and she was exhausted from looking after him. He was difficult and wouldn't let her have help. They have no children. The Christmas after he died, she was desperate to spend Christmas Day alone just to sit by herself, watch her choice of programmes and eat what she wanted to eat. Well meaning friends and relatives wouldn't hear of it and despite her protests, she had to get herself up and ready on Christmas morning to be taken out for lunch. She was grateful for the kindness but she really, really wanted to be left alone.

I'm hoping darling daughter and family will join me for boxing night, but that's all.
I've booked for Cunard queen Victoria next year!

sunseeker I think there are a number of people who prefer Christmas day as a day of quite contemplation and they shouldn't have to be jolly if they don't want to. I'm lad you are having some time with family and I do find Boxing day to be far less stressful.

We are spending Christmas Eve and Christmas day with DD2 but coming home on Boxing Day morning as we want some time to ourselves to kick off our shoes and pour a large one. DD2 was a bit perturbed by this but Boxing Day has back to back sport on TV and her DH and DS love their sport so we are happy to leave them to it and she will need a break before the New Year which is big in her husband's family.

People cant seem to understand our dislike of New Years Eve either - we prefer an early night, wake up next morning clear away all the decorations clean and the house and cook a welcome to the New Year special dinner. It really is each to their own isn't it

I will be spending Christmas alone. I have received invitations from DH's family to be with them on the day but as they live the other side of the city it would mean not having a drink with lunch . Last year I received a phone call from my mother and brother in Australia which was nice.

I don't mind being on my own on the day as I do think about DH and the great times we had, yes there are a few tears, but also smiles remembering his great sense of humour.

Boxing Day will be spent visiting family and friends

'This granny is not just for Xmas' should be a car sticker. Loved it jenty61

I do feel that when your on your own at xmas relatives feel guilty that you are on your own therefore invite you to theirs...i too used to feel like a spare part so one year when I was invited to daughters for xmas i to.d her I want to spend it on my own which didn't go down too well!
Do what you want to do...me I love it on my own I can do what I want when I want im not one for playing happy families at xmas time more so when relatives don't bother any other time of the year...
This granny is not just for xmas!

There's no reason why you can't spend Xmas lunchtime on your own if that's what you want to do.

If you think that maybe your niece only invites you out of a sense of duty, which is very kind of her, you could pre-empt the invite by letting her know nicely that you have other plans this year.