A four line poem

Snow, snow
Beautiful snow
Slip on a lump
And down you go

(Not original I am afraid, but taught to me by my Scottish granny about 60 years ago!!)

FarNorth of your advice I'll take heed
and change the game on which I feed
stick to bunnies, deer and duck
hope that is more your kind of tuck

So you eat Bambi, Thumper and Daffy
All that blood been spilt
But then again I could eat them too
Without feeling any guilt.

Give me Daisy, Shaun and Porky
As steak or chop or joint
A meal without our meaty friends
Would have very little point.

I love my veg
Green, orange or red
Then mop up the gravy
With crusty bread.

But when all is said
I need my meat
It's the bit that makes
My meal a treat.

Sitting slumped in my armchair
Post dinner and wine, haven't a care
Cheese and nuts I have imbibed
To lose some weight I haven't tried

Tomorrow morning on the scales
I'll see my face turn slowly pale
The diet isn't going well
I love my food as you can tell

I'll wish I hadn't eaten so much
That all that food I hadn't touched
But tomorrow is another day
Tonight I'll open my Cadbury's milk tray!!

How do you copy and paste?
I cannot find the way,
The tablet is a mystery
I'll try another day!

They're going to give us Windows 10
Who knows when it will be there
It seems we'll have no choice
It really isn't fair.

I like my good old Windows 7
I know just how it works
I don't know why I have to change
And face the techies smirks.

I bought a Hudl the other day
So I'd be in the trend
I'll use it for my work and play
And so my mind to bend.

A tablet's a thing to hold your gaze
It's oh so versatile
It'll be doing wonders in lots of ways
Very soon, shortly, in a while.

I love my mini iPad
I love it when it rains
I check my friends on Facebook Gransnet
And play Candy Crush on trains

There's an old Avengers on the telly
So old it's black and white
I don't know how they did it
But they got the stories right.

As usual it's oddball
The plot with turn and twist
You have to follow closely
Or else you lose the gist

It's really very clever
In a wound round sort of way
There'll be sneaky stuff and fighting
Til Emma hits the fray

Then dressed in leather one piece
She'll punch and kick some ass
It's all great fun to watch it
And another hour will pass.

There's a winter wonderland outside my window
But it's warm and cosy in the house
The dog is slumbering on the sofa
And all is quiet as a mouse.

The wind is howling, and the snow
Is blowing from the west
It's time to take the dog out
And he's really not impressed.

Masturbaters can be seen
Because their hands are hairy
Looking like a yeti
Can make them rather scary

Oops somehow linked back to an old sequence of poems.

Sorry for the smutty poem
It seems I went far back
Now I see the clean poems
I'm coming back on track

If I could find the time
to identify a rhyme
for that tricky fruit 'orange'...
That would be peachy.

There is no rhyme for "orange"
But you must not despair;
Just slip it deep inside a line.
Alternatively, use "pear".

You could try borage
It almost rhymes with orange.
Not an easy word to choose
Enough to start you on the booze.

Had I gone borage
The next thyme would be porage
And then I'd sound Scots.
Which I'm nots.

I gaze out on the snow clad hills
My heart with Scots nostalgia fills
Tomorrow I shall catch the train
And head back home to England again.

By car your route home would have been
'cross Soutra's snow-clad hills of green.
Better the train, it painful feels
To know that Soutra's under the wheels.

( Sounds painful - poor Soutra!)

Under the wheels??
Sounds less than nice
"Let the train take the strain"
Is better advice!

That's if all the tracks are clear
From drifts of snow this time of year
"Wrong kind of snow" can cause no power
And strand you in the midst of nowhere.

Take a flask of something rosy
Wear your thermals thick and cosy
Lack of power means lack of heating
Be prepared! That takes some beating.

I'll make sure I have a coffee or tea
A sarnie or Kitkat and my Kindle all three
Would help me happily pass the hours
Until my Pendolino was restored to full power!

Got the chimney swept today
All ready for a roaring blaze
Hail and snow is on the way
Perishing cold for days and days.