A four line poem

They're going to give us Windows 10
Who knows when it will be there
It seems we'll have no choice
It really isn't fair.

I like my good old Windows 7
I know just how it works
I don't know why I have to change
And face the techies smirks.

How do you copy and paste?
I cannot find the way,
The tablet is a mystery
I'll try another day!

Sitting slumped in my armchair
Post dinner and wine, haven't a care
Cheese and nuts I have imbibed
To lose some weight I haven't tried

Tomorrow morning on the scales
I'll see my face turn slowly pale
The diet isn't going well
I love my food as you can tell

I'll wish I hadn't eaten so much
That all that food I hadn't touched
But tomorrow is another day
Tonight I'll open my Cadbury's milk tray!!

So you eat Bambi, Thumper and Daffy
All that blood been spilt
But then again I could eat them too
Without feeling any guilt.

Give me Daisy, Shaun and Porky
As steak or chop or joint
A meal without our meaty friends
Would have very little point.

I love my veg
Green, orange or red
Then mop up the gravy
With crusty bread.

But when all is said
I need my meat
It's the bit that makes
My meal a treat.

FarNorth of your advice I'll take heed
and change the game on which I feed
stick to bunnies, deer and duck
hope that is more your kind of tuck

Snow, snow
Beautiful snow
Slip on a lump
And down you go

(Not original I am afraid, but taught to me by my Scottish granny about 60 years ago!!)

Poor little insects, what a shame
You ate them for your lunch
Please try to find some other game
To bite and chew and munch.

Heard about these bugs that grow
some said they were good for lunch
but when I decided to give it a go
o' my how those roaches crunch

I know the bugs are in there
I saw it on the telly
But most folks have all the bugs the need
Already living in their belly.

You only need to add the bugs
If you've been proper poorly
And your good bugs have been killed off
Either quickly or more slowly.

By eating cheese and yoghurt
You will get them back
They grew again quite quickly
And get you back on track.

Our guts are full of bacteria
All of it very good
Drinking more seems rather silly
I don't think we should!

Oh FarNorth
It's really true
Probiotics
Are laced with poo.

But FarNorth
Put your fears to rest
It's only the bugs
And not the rest.

Is that really true, vq?
Bacteria re-used in that way?
Most of us surely never knew
While we slurped those drinks from day to day.

Where do they get the healthy bacteria
For the probiotic drink
They get it from what goes down the loo
I'm amazed it doesn't stink.

They fill our gut with healthy bugs
That help us with our food
So drinking stuff that's laced with poo
Is actually quite good.

When harvesting your crop
whether it be naga or Mexican chili
remember, while you chop
don't be silly and touch your willy eyes

Sister in law's dog's a nut
Any socks she loves to chew
She pulls it off your foot
They come out in her poo!

The socks are only fit for binning
When picked up and duly bagged
The silly dog sits there grinning
Her long tail madly wagged

She thinks it a lovely game
Nothing done makes her stop
Reasons are getting increasingly lame
For buying more socks from the shop

M&S sales are soaring
When it comes to buying socks
Shopping is now terribly boring
SIL prefers to be buying frocks.

We have little springer,
Anu is her name
And she is the greatest sock thief
In the sock thief hall of shame.
She has a great addiction
For your very latest pair
But when you come to put them on
There's only one to wear.

Slippers take her fancy
It all is quite a game.
But when she's played around with them
They're never quite the same.
You go to slip them on your feet,
Which are quite cold, when bare,
But then you see the toes have gone
And the sole just isn't there!

I hate snow
It's horrid cold and wet
Then it freezes over
And makes the paths an icy threat.

The evening sun was shining
With golden ethereal light
The birds were pecking at the seeds
Before settling for the night.

The evening twighlight deepened
The dog and I walked on
It was bracing out in the evening air
But good to be back home.

Shopping each day in a loathsome store
Finding housework a mind-numbing chore.
Preparing a meal is a job I detest.
Cooking, my way, makes food hard to digest.

Growing old and tired of life’s many vexations.
Becoming more aware of my body’s limitations.
Wanting to leave it all behind me and go.
Knowing, as I depart, I’ll be going below.

Grinning a welcome, Old Nick bids me wait.
Undoing the chain which holds shut the gate.
Holding out my shovel he bids me begin.
Earning, by my sweat, the wages of sin.

Have you considered a little Corsa?
They're spacey and quite nippy
You could put daisy decals on
And live life like a hippy.

Miss Betty was bought to tow our van
She really is a charmer
She'll pull and pull along the road
Even mountains don't alarm 'er

Our car is a great big Vectra,
Chosen for towing a `van,
She glides along like a spectre,
Now the caravan`s gone down the pan!

This car is too big for us now,
In petrol it`s a guzzler,
Time for it to take a bow,
What to buy instead? It`s a puzzler!

A mini is too small
To fit my body in it,
On getting out I`d be sure to fall,
And then I`d shout "let`s bin it"!

My first car was called Cilla
And I fell into despair
When Cilla got too poorly
And too expensive to repair.

My second car was Dolly
She really was a star
But I sold her very easily
To We Buy Any Car.

Now I drive Miss Betty
She's very smooth and sleek
And lovely on the motorway
At least four times a week.

She loves to travel at great speed
That's the reason she was made
Designed to be a salesmen's car
She really made the grade.

But now Miss Betty is our car
Our lovely pride and joy
She's knows she's classier than most.
Def not the hoi polloi.

Look after that car, I'm told
So off to clean and polish
be it windy, wet or cold
to my Polish mate I rush

My son keeps his car
In beautiful nick
So why's there no water
When mud on the 'screen is so thick?

Does he not drive it?
Does he not check?
It was very annoying
But what the heck!

I took my dear sister
Out for a drive
We went to see Dad
Thought we wouldn't arrive!

I had to throw snow
At the windscreen to clean it
It was gleaming after
You should have seen it.