A four line poem

Can I be bothered
Do I care
when DW says
“I've nothing to wear”

It's alright, she found some mincemeat
Looking lonely in a jar.
Made some pastry, baked it up
Now she's going to stuff herself silly so tongue-sticky-out emoti to the lot of you.

Who said I can't rhyme?

Love the robin one Hilda.

I need a laugh, just a little bit
Like the time when,
in the mangle
granny caught her tit

Somehow I can't write pomes
However hard I try
So I'll just go and eat
Some lovely apple pie

Granny was quite careless
She once mangled the cat
But never one to waste things
She wore it as a hat.

My grandma made great damson jam,
She never had any moans,
The trouble with my grandma was,
She left in all the stones.

I`m chewing Thornton`s toffee,
It`s stuck all over my teeth,
Pity I can`t take `em out,
To clean them underneath.

Told you I wasn`t poetic!

It's getting very late now
Should I lower the tone?
My pjs cover my nakedness
Cos tonight I'm all alone.

VQ I certainly hope
Before to bed you slope
You've also donned your woolly socks
So your feet won't become icy rocks.

It's half past one in the morning now
And the wind outside is making a row
Hope you're all cosy and snuggled so deep
Snoring and grunting and blissful in sleep.

Wind,wind, and yet more wind
do you realise what this means
those saints in the heavens
have gone mad on the beans

Do angels eat baked beans?
It really makes you wonder
When lightening strikes or thunder roars
And rips the skies asunder.

When I was young, my Mum always said that thunder was God having his coal delivered.

I think I might have lost my muse,
I cannot find the words to choose.
I used it up here two days ago.
But what to write now I do not know.

It's cold outside, some shake and shiver
Sweat pours off me just like a river
No coat or scarf or gloves for me
Coz I've just come off HRT

Oh the hell that is The Change
Symptoms abound in such a range
Hot and bothered and fiercely glowing
Trying hard to stop it showing

To keep up with her indoors
I decided to sort my draws
hers were filled with undies so fine
mine were filled with screws, glue and grime

The change is hopefully over
No more sweats and glows
No chucking off the cover
Instead am adding throws!

What time is it, I really don't know
or however I try, even the day
as I get older, and my thoughts slow
but wait !, the month I know, it's May

DH says 'Your car needs cleaning'
No offer came from him
The car's now clean and gleaming
But weather forecast is grim

Dear husband still is sitting
Where I left him an hour ago
He could have got on fitting
The fence before next blow

The fence it is all wonky
Not much is holding it up
And next doors' fat old donkey
Is eyeing up plants to sup

And if that bl...y donkey
Comes barging through the gap
And eats my plants with glee,
DH will take the rap

He'd better quickly get going
My patience is wearing thin
By now he should be knowing
That nagging tends to win!

Our fence too, is wonky
And our dogs have been next door;
We've been out and mended it
So our dogs can roam no more!

All night long an owl was hooting
In the trees behind my house
Did the dog stir by my feet
No,she slept quiet as a mouse.

DH is mending fencing
Fat donkey's watching him
There's moaning and much cursing
His patience's wearing thin

The hammer's being wielded
The donkey thinks it's fun
Some company whilst it's builded
Somewhere to scratch his bum

That beast had better be careful
The freezer's nearly bare
No use him looking doleful
Is donkey steak lovely rare?

I'm not sure there's enough room
For the beast so big and fat
DH's threatening its imminent doom
If it doesn't stop grabbing his hat

The donkey's only saying
'I can't help being thick'
Husband's certainly not playing
Will the threats start doing the trick?

So one exasperated and red-faced husband
Is getting nowhere so very fast
I'll refrain from offering a helping hand
It's peaceful in here, long may it last!