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I blame Mary Berry

(19 Posts)
apricot Sun 22-Feb-15 20:05:16

Every Sunday I make cakes and my local family come to tea.
Made M.B.'s boiled fruit cake, which turned out very stodgy. Then made biscuits for base of Mississippi mud pies. Two, because one daughter is gluten-free. Then made filling. Nine eggs, 300g chocolate, sugar, butter, 3/4 pint of cream all whisked up.
Then I dropped the bowl.
About 1/2 gallon of mixture all over floor, mat, table and chair legs, dressers, walls, even the ceiling, my feet, dog bed and dog.
I screamed, I swore, then staggered through flood before dog could eat enough to poison her (dark chocolate, very bad for dogs) It took an hour.
I couldn't start over again as far from shop and pouring with rain and no time anyway. Cancelled tea.
I keep finding more splashes of dried mixture in strange places - my hair, my other glasses. I've eaten 3 slices of stodgy cake as too cross to cook supper.
It's all M.B.'s fault, Mississippi mud pie was her recipe.

apricot Sun 22-Feb-15 20:08:02

... it took an hour to clear up, not to reach dog!

loopylou Sun 22-Feb-15 20:14:55

She's got a lot to answer for! I bet the dog thought all her Christmas' had come at once!
It's amazing how far anything like that can spread - I recently found the vestiges of a dropped bowl of chocolate mousse (from last Christmas) behind the radiator......

annsixty Sun 22-Feb-15 20:20:08

And how far can the contents of a broken pint bottle of milk spread,quite apart from the smell from that which you don't reach to clear up?

loopylou Sun 22-Feb-15 20:23:18

Almost as far as a large carton of double cream dropped on a carpet by leassthanhelpful DH last summer ..........hmm the smell was disgusting!

janerowena Sun 22-Feb-15 20:37:15

Oh dear... grin

I asked DBH what he had done to the curtain poles to make them stripy No idea why I blamed him - just knew it wasn't me! He looked at them closely and said 'I think it's where dust has stuck to where you didn't think to clean, after you let all those bottles of elderflower champagne explode last summer'! blush

Galen Sun 22-Feb-15 20:46:47


tanith Sun 22-Feb-15 21:04:11

My bil whilst minding our house while we were on holiday put a tinned chocolate pudding in a saucepan of water to boil , without piercing the lid and then left it to boil, it evenutually exploded of course. You never saw such a mess and that was after he had attempted to clear it up.. he found a tin of emulsion paint in the garage and painted over the lumps stuck to the ceiling.. I didn't stop swearing for a month.

We still laugh about it now and this happened about 20yrs ago.

Deedaa Sun 22-Feb-15 21:25:46

I do sympathise apricot but I nearly laughed myself sick reading your tale of woe. I'd almost recovered when I got to tanith 's! Only a man could think of painting over the lumps grin

Nelliemoser Sun 22-Feb-15 21:37:23

Oh Apricot! You certain do things in style.

Juliette Sun 22-Feb-15 21:46:36

She's got lovely teeth though loopyloo. grin. (MB that is)

tanith Sun 22-Feb-15 22:07:47

Have to say Apricot I laughed myself silly too.... MB's got a lot to answer for .

As for painting over the lumps he said as we had an artexed ceiling anyway he thought we wouldn't notice the extra lumps and bumps..

annodomini Sun 22-Feb-15 22:27:52

Well done, apricot - it could happen to any of us. Reminds me of the time I took the weight off the pressure cooker before the pressure had reduced and tomato soup hit the ceiling. Luckily, we had a very tall friend staying with us who wiped the ceiling with great ease.

rubysong Sun 22-Feb-15 22:40:08

We still have marks on the speaker of the kitchen stereo where I dropped a large dish of pawn curry one Christmas eve (several years ago). I ended up with a blister the size of an egg on my foot.

absentgrandma Sun 22-Feb-15 22:42:56

Oh if only our kitchens could talk! I tried not to laugh Apricot, I really did. I'm reminded of Lucille Ball's (or was it Joan River's? ) statement..'You can eat of my floor.... tomato ketchup, mayo , barbecue sauce'!

absentgrandma Sun 22-Feb-15 22:46:55

aaah ....I'm missing an 'f'' ...*off *my floor ! 'Pedantic moi?grin

numberplease Mon 23-Feb-15 01:39:04

Not to mention the hard boiled egg I threw at hubby, missed, it landed on the rug, and I found out it wasn`t hard boiled!

rubylady Mon 23-Feb-15 03:17:45

My dad made home brew beer when I was about 19 years old. He put them in bottles on the top of the kitchen wall units. One day we heard a pop. No one moved. Then another pop. Still no one moved but unsure of what it was. Another and another. We went to investigate and sure enough there was beer streaming down the units, bottles exploding and gushing out, the whole kitchen was drenched in foamy hop smelling liquid and some glass. He was a market gardener at this time too. I think it all came to a sticky end very soon after this episode, poor dad. grin

12Michael Mon 23-Feb-15 07:17:19

We have in Brackley a bakery which is in an old bakery , but they use the term artisan , the traditional old fashion stoggy cakes are beyond them such as lardy , rock cakes, and others I had a couple of cream cones from them they were dry to taste.