Power of attorney.

So sorry to hear of these circumstances durhamjen I feel for you and your mother in law

Because when I arrived there, she was with a care assistant in one of the day rooms. The assistant went to get me a cup of coffee, and left me with her. When she came back, she said call if you want anything and left the room.
As my mother in law quite often falls off her chair and injures herself, I could not leave her to ask anyone to help.
She wasn't shouting and screaming at me. She was screaming for her mother, her sisters, people I'd never heard of before. When she turned round to hit me, it wasn't me she was lashing out at. I had to sit close enough to stop her getting up out of her chair.
When I left, there were two other visitors in the carpark who asked if I was okay. The care assistants said she was lovely most of the time, but one of these visitors said that last Saturday she shouted for at least three hours, and on Sunday it was longer.
This was the first time I had seen her like this.

What made you stay for an hour and a half if your MIL was in such a distressed state, screaming and trying to hit you, durhamjen?

Of course you feel you have to visit her, but it doesn't sound as though she's likely to be able to decide on an 'end of life plan' if she hasn't already done it.

I agree that we need to sort such things out while we're still compos mentis though.

I went to visit my 93 year old mother-in-law today. Fortunately her sons had her solicitor draw up power of attorney for her last year before she got dementia. My husband had done one before he died, which made things easier for me and our sons.
However, I was asked today, after she spent an hour and a half shouting and screaming and occasionally turning round to try and hit me, if I knew her end of life plan. Both her sons are on holiday. I said they could sort that out when they got back from holiday, as she was obviously in no fit state today to talk reasonably.
That's something else to think about before the dementia gets you.

My sister in law has recently been diagnosed with Dementia and her husband was too late to apply for power of attorney due to her having become incapacitated. She's in hospital now and he's having to apply to the courts for guardianship. This process is to take up to 12 weeks for him to be able to manage his wife's welfare and financial responsibilities. It's got me thinking we should all consider applying for POA while we are in good health. It's a shocker if we haven't prepared for our nearest and dearest to take charge when we become unable to do so.

I've found it on C of P website.

As soon as I feel well enough (bl...dy virus) am going to post office to send off POA which was drawn up 10 years ago but not registered.

I didn't do anything about a POA regarding ill health. How does that work please?

Just got my registered LPA back from my online application. It took just 7 weeks, well within the 10 weeks quoted.

A point to ponder. We often think we should make a will (even if we don't actually get around to it) as death can come unexpectedly at any age. However we tend to put off LPA's as we will only go doolally slowly, BUT stroke etc could bring this unfortunate state on at any time without warning, better to get your LPA done asap.

Thanks Katek for this thread, it's reminded me this has been on our "to do" list", along with updating our wills, for several months now. I didn't know it could be done online either, thanks to pompa for the link.

RSPCA - I no longer donate to them, I give money to our local dog shelter which doesn't put down healthy animals or spend a fortune on its own organisation. I made 3 referrals to the RSPCA when I was working and came across animals in dangerous/neglectful/abusive situations. Zilch was the response. I returned to one home a couple of weeks later, to find the huge dog was still chained up in the back yard, no access to food or water, no shelter from the elements. It's tail was tucked firmly under its belly and when the 'master' of the house bellowed at it to "shut the up or I'll batter you" because it was howling - it shut the up instantly (as did the children I was visiting there) Yes, I did re-refer to the RSPCS, no nothing ever did happen.

I'm sure they do lots of good things as well; it's just that I don't have the blind faith in them that I used to have.

That sounds dreadful! I donate monthly to them-I must try and find out more. T

Katek; years ago I was chatting to someone who said he despised the RSPCA because they made huge profits but put down healthy animals. I was quite shocked by what he said but, over the years other people have said the same. So I wouldn't trust them without looking into any agreement with them very carefully.

If they become incapable while you are capable of changing your POA then there is not a problem, you just revoke the POA and choose a new attorney.

Most people appoint more than one attorney. I have named both my children in my POA and given them authority to act together or separately so if one of them became incapacitated the other would operate on their own. There is a possibility that both could be incapacitated, but the probability of that is so low I can live with the risk of my care passing out of their hands in those circumstances. However it is important to give your attorneys the power to work together or separately.

The parents of a friend appointed her and her DH as there attorneys and didn't add that word separately. Her father died, her mother developed Azheimers and then her husband died suddenly and the POA became invalid and she had to go through all the problems of having to organise a POA for someone who is mentally incapacitated, it took over six months. It was halfway through the sale of her DM's flat, so the sale fell through, as well as dealing with all this she was also having to deal with her grief at the loss of her DH plus administering his will.

You don't seem impressed with the RSPCA Tegan.....have you had problems with them?

My husband sent his off to be registered as soon as we had all the signatures. If we had waited until he "needed" it, it would have been too late if there had been any problems.

Wouldn't trust the RSPCA with a live animal [runs and hides]. Think it's another dogs trust that offers that.

Charleygirl.....don't the RSPCA offer a home for life service for pets left behind? Think I've seen it advertised on TV.

A single ticket along Southend pier would be even cheaper.

The complex questions being raised can be refereed to the help line, I'm sure they will advise you.

apricot to save your daughters the trauma, a single ticket to Switzerland would solve your problems and be a lot cheaper.

£1000? I've told my daughters to shoot me if I go ga-ga.

Please do not forget any animals that you may have! I have that sorted with a couple who are not my attorneys- they have said that they will look after Tara if anything happens to me. I have to get my LPOW sorted soon because I do not want the expense of food and vet fees to fall on their kind shoulders. Like me they are animal lovers.

Thanks FlicketyB. Was also wondering what happens if your appointee becomes incapable themselves after you have invoked poa? Wouid their responsibilities rest with their appointee? How would I prevent my affairs being handled by someone I didn't appoint??

Katek If you have reached legal adulthood, it is never too early to make a will and set up a POA. We made our first wills when DS was born. We were in our late 20s, DH's work involved some risk and we wanted to sort out who would care for our DC if neither of us was around to do so. We set up POAs when we were in our 40s and first heard of them.

Our wills have been revised several times since, I think we are on version 4. When our children were old enough to be given our POAs we cancelled our previous ones, where other members of our family were given that responsibility and our children will now exercise the POA for us, if and when it is needed.

Couple of points.

LPA's don't have to be registered straight away, but for the reasons given, it is very advisable to register them promptly. I suspect a solicitor would want to do it immediately so that he can charge more.

When filling in the forms, all the signatures have to be obtained within a 12 month period (I think they say "without significant delay"). As our children live far away I checked with the help line what his meant, they said 12 months. However they suggested that once I had completed the forms online, our children could print off the relevant sections and sign them.

Regarding the various witnesses etc, they do not have to be professional people (like a passport) just friends etc that have known you for a while.

It does take up to 10 weeks to register. After they have checked the documents, they then have to write to every party concerned giving them 4 weeks to object etc. Given leeway for postal delays this probably takes up 7 weeks of the 10.

I believe you can change addresses etc with no problem, but I suspect adding a new attorney would need a new application. You are able to name several attorneys and replacement attorneys.

Regarding cost, if your income is below £12k/yr or you are receiving certain benefits, the costs are reduced.