OK, the Idiot has stopped being funny now!

Petullus how sad for your DGS! Ours knows of the existence of his biological father but has never known him or shown any interest. He dotes on his 'daddy' though.

Kitty now you mention it, narcissism explains a lot.

Or at least very sad. DGS wonders why his daddy doesn't contact him but says he still loves daddy!

I suppose I should be grateful that my ex son-in-law has contented himself with cutting himself off entirely from DD and us.

Unfortunately he has included his 9 year old son in this which is not so good.
I could even say it's heart-breaking.

Yes! Also some traits of a psychopath too.

DD has a theory that his personality stopped developing when he was 4 when. Apparently, our Idiot (and quite a few of the others!!) seem to fit exactly the definition of narcissism.

Far too many ex-partners behave like this. What happened to dignity and a commitnent to looking after their children's well-being? Son's partner has an ex who doesn't take financial responsibility for his children but delights in buying them unwanted things like dozens of doughnuts, hamsters and skates that don't fit them! He's the one who misses out on being a dad because he's too busy trying to wind mum up. She now refuses to communicate with him except through my son. Why won't they grow up? (Don't answer that......a futile exercise!)

Kitty I haven't commented on your posts about this awful person ( can't call him a man) before. DD1 had similar instances with our ex SIL.

I have to say that he does see DGS regularly and after trying to pay as little as possible and lying about his income he now pays regularly.

He used to send vile texts and e-mails to DD all of which are still on file and will still now after 4 years try to wind her up and worry her. She has learned now that he is all hot air and communicates as little as possible and only in connection to their son.

The ex has remarried but it seems he still wants to be part of DDs life and the only way he can do this is by trying to disrupt her when he can.

Sad really as DD is now very happy with a lovely chap who is great friends with DGS. From his behaviour I can only summise that Ex. is not really happy and maybe regrets what he lost.

I feel for you.. We know we should ignore the nastiness but that's easier said than done.

Sorry to hear that kitty I think perhaps they are less responsive to complaints than than the used to be. Perhaps your DD should have a well though out "one liner" that she posts in response to everything the idiot says. I am sure the GNetters could think of a really good line that will shoot him down in flames!

Good morning! Thank you all for your support and words of advice. I really appreciate all your posts! I knew I could rely on you all to make me feel less like committing murder!

Gillybob, I am glad your friend had a good result through FB. DD reported a much more serious post and were told there was nothing they could do.

Jud that it exactly our experience and why we keep an eye him. Although our Idiot does usually pay up. DD never responds either.

(((Hugs))) for everyone else coping with idiotic ex in laws. The frustration and impotence is really awful.

Kitty your DD should send him an email/letter (recorded for possible future reference) requesting that he take down the photograph. She should also say that she forbids him to post any photograph of her in the future. If he fails to do so, she can go directly to FB and tell them to take it down.I know someone who has done just that, for lesser reasons than your DD too. I am so glad I am not part of the FB generation where lives are run and sometimes ruined by a few clicks of the keyboard.

Kitty, that FB post shows what a total creep (and other stronger words) he turned out to be. It's not anyone's fault for being taken in by him.
I hope your DD can use it as evidence in some way.

Kitty that sort of thing is SO annoying! But that is why he is doing it. It is vile behaviour but better not to respond which is what he wants.

We have one of those in the background, the biological father of my DGS1. A horrible man who uses social media to continuously and publicly insult and humiliate my DD. complains about not being 'allowed' to see his son but never asks to see him and has never contributed a penny to his upbringing. He is not part of DGS life but uses him to gain sympathy from those who don't know the situation. He is a pathological liar. He acts like this with other people too. Insults and taunts publicly.

He thrives on people responding to his vile posts so we keep an eye on what is said in case there is a need for legal action but we NEVER respond. The only time DD took action was when he posted on FB that anyone seeing her should give her a beating! FB took this down very quickly.

So....I do feel for you and your family coping with your Idiot!

kittylester I have every sympathy. In our case it was DiL who was posting on FB and though she was canny enough not to mention my DS's name it was obvious who she meant. As for text messages, I have never seen such language! She even used DGS's phone sometimes and he is only 8 years old. I can only hope she deleted them!
Ignore and keep your dignity as loopylou says. Do not sink to his level. You are both better than that! I hope he gets exactly what he deserves in the end. Keep strong.

I agree with everything that's been said.

Lona is right she wouldn't have listened at the time. I had that conversation with DD but she was young and convinced she was doing the right thing.

kitty promise me you won't let the idiot make you feel embarrassed or guilty. Our DD' s made mistakes. I'm sure they have both learned from them x

This has to be saved and shown to your DD solicitor. After he has been cleared out in the courts, your DD has got custody and a divorce, I would then ring HMRC and report him for tax dodging. I understand that a tax inspection is more traumatic than a divorce........

That's what mums are for!

kitty even if you'd told her that you were worried, she probably wouldn't have wanted to know. They do have to make their own mistakes, even if we have to help to sort out the mess!

Surely your DDs 'mutual friends' will now cut The Idiot dead? They can't possibly stay neutral when he's being that nasty.

Vibes of support coming your way to help you all stay strong, dignified and aloof from this immature twerp.

Yes phoenix to both! I'm a bit fraught!! I. Thank you for the love!! Xx

PS Would it help if I invoked my previous "curse", but with knobs on?

kitty , I'm sure that you meant others being cross along with you, rather than being cross with you much love, M'dear!

Thank you all for being cross with me! One of my brothers keeps emailing me with new expletives which make me

I am now cross with DD (but not saying anything!) because, although she was very young, she has also always been very 'savvy' about people. But, I'm cross with us for not telling her we were worried about the relationship! . And, Mrs Bucket kicking in, embarrassed about DD having married such a twerp!

I do feel for your daughter but how can this man leave a post like that which his own child may one day read. Shocking

He's shown himself up as a total (insert whatever expletive you like).
I can understand how upset your DD must be but ignoring him and maintaining a dignified silence might speak louder than words?

Let him carry on making a complete a..h... of himself, he sure is an expert at it!

How hurtful words can be. What a nasty piece of work he is. Your DD will be well rid of him.