DH and I have just been in fits reading these.
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Absolutely brilliant - crying with laughter and now have tummy ache!! Thanks all. 
Oh my word, I don't care if they're not all genuine, they had me crying with laughter . And I love your contribution too, loopy
In our village magazine yesterday, an entry from the village school:
'On ar activity holiday Dad wanted to ride the hores, but mum said they were too ekspensiv '
Bless 
Thanks when I really needed that! Got to get changed now!!! 
I wouldn't be surprised if some had been tinkered with to make them sillier, Bellanonna but they are funny
Very very funny
Brilliant, when. I've been reading them out to DH and couldn't finish some of them for laughing.
Hilarious Whenim64! Just wondered if (completely) genuine? Even if not, the 'slips' are very funny
I'm going to forward this to my friend who edits the parish magazine
My friend just forwarded this list of typing errors and bad grammar from Church bulletins - made me giggle
Church Ladies With Typewriters
They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for the church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced at church services: ------------------
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. ------------------
Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled Proceeds will be used to cripple children. ------------------
The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.' ------------------
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands. ------------------
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help. ------------------
Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation. ------------------
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs. ------------------
Next Thursday there will be try-outs for the choir. They need all the help they can get. ------------------
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days. ------------------
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow. ------------------
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice. ------------------
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.------------------
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.------------------
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility. ------------------
Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.------------------
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon. ------------------
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin. ------------------
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday. ------------------
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the back door. ------------------
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.------------------
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance. ------------------
And this one just about sums them all up
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday:
'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.'
------------------
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