SOOP's kindly Kitcheners

janerowena I think that it is a bit of both. I also "suffer" from both. This is minor but you get the drift- I met up with 2 other GNs for coffee last week. I had picked up my coffee, was walking slowly back to our table, using one crutch when a young man in the queue offered to carry my coffee to the table. I refused politely but of course by the time I arrived there was as much in the saucer as in the cup.

I shall grow the veg! You had all better like squash and green leafy stuff - we are inundated with it at the moment.

charleygirl I know, I know, but it's my SF... They are either being very independent, or not wanting to bother anyone, I can't quite make out which applies. I am having to dripfeed ideas into SF's brain, because a lot of it is going to have to be done by them - and they do hate any idea of our 'interfering'. My mother is far worse than he is, too. I shall add it to my list of helpful suggestions at some point, but knew from the way they were speaking that if I had suggested it last week (I have a friend who is a health visitor) I would have been shown the door. Far safer to email at leisure.

soop you are not, under any circumstances doing any ironing in our communal abode! No pooping either!
It will be just fun and chatting with no chores if only

Those who enjoy cooking, can do so. Those who do not, can assist with the laundry (I'm first class with the iron)/flicking the duster/making cups of tea or uncorking the . As I fall asleep tonight I shall think about "the plan"...and have sweet dreams.

Tomorrow, is visit to the care home day. I shall pop in to our kitchen when I return home.

...I got carried away. Meant to type "pool our resources"

Lona Should we two (or even together with several others) need to share, I would consider it a bonus. A group of us (if needs be) can join forces and open a tasteful fun-filled commune. Think about it good companionship, shared anxieties and celebrations...I'm all for it. We wouldn't need a large stately home...far too costly to maintain...but we could poop our resources and buy/rent a decent house. The more the merrier. Do you know what, I'm grinning from ear to ear.

As Tara has taken over the second bedroom and my house resembles a care home, I am sure that Tara would not mind sharing her bed with another GN. I have everything but unfortunately no live in staff- only myself, which is not appreciated by madam.

No problem ann, it can be similar to this kitchen, calorie free with lots of wine too! And staff!

And a residents minibus as I don't drive.

Room with a view for me please Lona ground floor if no lift or stairlift.

gaga so sorry to read your sad news , your sister's death must have been such a shock.

soop I also understand your fears for the future. Mine is uncertain for a different reason sil spent my money! and I have a limited amount left to pay for rental accommodation. Just hope that I don't live to a ripe old age!
We need a large (but stately) home for retired Gransnetters, near a cake shop!

Charleygirl Rory is surprisingly gentle whenever he meets up with Tortoiseshell (one of his many daughters)...and on the occasions when Mother cat came into the garden for food, he allowed her to share. It surprised us to see him sit beside her as she polished off his supper. That was at the time he resided in the upturned wheelie bin with the cat igloo/fleece blanket inside.

Rory and Tara may fight!!!

Good morning to all our lovely kitcheners...my goodness, haven't you all been busy. I popped in to see whether or not there were any updates. It has taken an age to catch up.

pompa Wow! Good for you. A tune on the ukulele would not go amiss.

Thank you for bags x

Gaga What an awful shock for you and your family. An up-to-date will is a must. We review ours annually. It is all pretty straight forward regarding the proceeds of the house sale. Any personal "treasures" such as books, artwork and trinkets, most certainly won't be fought over.

I was busy taking photographs this morning, and not until I returned home, did I realise that the card reader was still attached to the computer.

It is good to be able to think about and discuss the pros and cons of a future life plan, for want of a better expression. Bella you are still youthful. I hope that the adjustments to your life style can be made without further trauma. Having good health and a supportive family is a blessing.

Should I survive MacS I may consider relocating to Northamptonshire. I've often thought that I would happy to share a modest home with a like-minded lady. However...

What a lovely surprise pompa. It is a big change from brown envelopes- the contents being bills.

Lovely to hear from you again.

Just back from cat sitting in Leicester, big surprise on our doormat.

We claimed for mortgage protection mis selling some 22 years ago from Abbey Nat (Santander), did not expect it to come to anything as I had nothing other than our mortgage acc no.. WOW, with very little effort on our part they have refunded everything we ever paid plus compound interest at 8%. The interest came to nearly twice the original cost. It has take about 4 weeks, couple of phone calls plus one form. Will pay for our holiday next year.

If you EVER paid mortgage protection, and I suspect many did in the 70-90s, you should be able to claim it all back + interest, likely to be several thousand pounds. Don't use a company to make your claim, just phone the company that sold the policy, that way you will get all the cash.

janerowena please correct me if I am wrong but I am getting the feeling that you intend to buy a zimmer for your mother. Maybe it would be better if she had a social services assessment and whatever she requires, on the whole will be supplied free. There are various types of zimmers, some with and others without wheels. Maybe a physiotherapist should decide?

charleygirl thanks for the grab info, I was wondering about getting her a zimmerframe too, for when she is a bit more mobile and SF not there to help her.

If someone is still living in the home occupied by the person needing a home, they are left there until such time as they too have to leave the house, on the whole, at which time it is sold. I have several friends going through this with their parents. I have one friend who is being allowed to live at her mother's house (the savings money ran out early this year) as she visits her mother every day and the staff need her services to keep her mother calm - they really do seem to treat every case individually. I think you can look at what is required to give yourself a basic idea of how the system operates, but everyone will be different and there is a huge amount of variation and even more paperwork. She had lots of meetings with people to sort it all out, it would have been a nightmare if she had been trying to cope from where her own home really is. She was also not allowed to rent out her own home while she is living in her mother's.

Her mother started out self-funding but then the savings ran out. It was decreed that since there were no available spaces in council homes, they would allow her to continue where she is and a health-worker was also brought in to be shown that her quality of life should not be altered, as she is very fragile mentally.

So I am thinking - get myself into a posh home asap and shriek blue murder if anyone tries to move me.

annsixty I am aware that your husband would have to be taken into care because of his condition but I am thinking about you. There has to be a plan for you. I have no idea about self funding care homes and how those left will manage to live financially but now is the time to investigate, not when you are feeling very vulnerable and may make the wrong decision or be taken for a ride. Sorry I sound like a nag.

My DH would have to go into care if I died or was unable to care for him, and that is an ever present worry for me and others like me. That plan B is already in place with neither my DD or S in a position to give him the care he needs.

two weeks after she died not before.

Thank you for the kind thoughts and words everyone. We had just about got over losing our pusscats when my sister died suddenly of a brain aneurysm the day before we were going on holiday at 7am. It was such a shock as she was a very fit and very active woman who was preparing to attend a major conference two weeks before she died. We did go away for a week but she was there with us the whole time and as soon as we got back I had to fly to the funeral. In addition, she was in process of changing her will but had not signed the new one and this has caused a big family rift as she was excluding some family members and including others. It has added a Dickensian "Bleak House" feel to the situation.

I am feeling a bit better now and getting used to the fact that she has gone. It does knock you for six though as I know many of you understand from personal experiences.

Annsixty I agree with Charleygirl a plan B Could be helpful. The unfortunate case might be that we go first. Then how would our DH or DP manage their lives? A good friend passed away suddenly last year. She was vey fit (swimming, Gym etc) whereas her DH has several health problems. Our friend + her Dh assumed that she would out live him, so her plan B was to move to Oz to be with her daughter. But the unexpected happend with no plan B for her husband who is not well enough to travel to australia. + prefers our climate .

Our grabbers are called 'Grandma's hand' after DS1 named it such when DMiL used one after her stroke.

janerowena I do not know if you are aware but it is possible to buy a gadget which is fitted to a zimmer and the grabber is held on by a magnet. You should be able to buy one on line looking at the mobility items for sale.

There are also trolleys which are very useful to get one around the house with a mug of coffee and or/food on the tray (I know!). Some are outrageously expensive but others are reasonably priced. I fancy buying an all white one so that my house does not resemble a care home as it does at present. Some take a weight up to 25 stone, others look more flimsy on line.

I borrowed my present trolley from a friend but it is too "care homeish" looking for me.