Mrs, Miss or Ms

I never used my husband's surname when I got married 30 odd years ago. I use Ms, but agree that it's down to individual preference.
I've noticed that you get called Mrs ….. anyway once you're over a certain age!

Members of the Religious Society of Friends (Quakers), founded 1652 never used titles.
"Quaker children tend to refer to adults by name, and at Quaker educational institutions it is common to call teachers by first name."
quakermythbusters.org/Quakers_dont_use_titles.html

I would much prefer to drop them altogether. It is very rare that I use it.
The only need that I can see is for children in school.
I generally go by for weeks without having to use it.

I have tried to use Ms (divorced 14 years now) but didn't like it so choose to use Miss because I prefer it to the other options.

I also kept my married name because it is my mother's maiden name so my maternal grandma and grandad were called my married name too so my mum was named my name as a child/young woman, so was my auntie so I am still named after that half of my family. Plus it kept me and the children with all the same name although not really needed very soon when DS leaves home. Unbeleivably really, even though my DD doesn't talk to me or her father, she is going for a double barrelled name on her marriage next month and has done for her children already.

I agree with you Pamish ....drop the 'titles', they're old fashioned. I don't bother with Mrs unless I'm filling in something official.

It's not just descendants 200 years down the line who might have problems. When I was applying for New Zealand residency I had to show that absentdaughter was at the centre of my family.

My current name (also my maiden name): Ms absent
My former name: Mrs Firsthusband
Daughter's name on birth certificate: Christianname Firsthusband

I divorced, married again (much later) and resumed my maiden name of Ms absent, which I had always continued to use professionally

Meanwhile, absentdaughter married and legally changed her first name, so she became: NewChristianname Newhusbandname

They subsequently divorced and she married for a second time. She became: NewChristianname Secondhusbandname

Producing the documentation to prove that absentdaughter with various names that do not match my name(s) or that of her stepfather (and nor of course did mine) is at the centre of my family was something of a mission.
[Phew emotion]

Mx. A title for all marital states, ages and sexes. If we have to have a title, this will do. I came across this for real today for the first time when buying online postage, and it was useful as I did not know the person I was sending stuff to, and could not leave the box blank. So big up the Post Office for latching onto this.

Mr Mrs etc are only 'titles' that distinguish us from the aristocracy, so isn't it time they were dropped?
.

I expect that when people are choosing names they have no interest in helping their descendants 200 yrs in the future!

Also only use Ms if anyone asks for a title other wise I just say my name.

I am not proud to be married. I am very happy to be with my DH. He is not marked as my DH by the title of mister.
My DD1 chooses to be Mrs, other DD uses Miss and her DDs take her (& her father's /my DH) second name. Genealogist nightmare ��

I would recommend either Find My Past or Ancestry, MarMark1
It is easier to follow if people follow traditional naming patterns- just in that you know what you can most likely expect.

Ms. I do not use my husband's name nor is my second name my father's name.
It is my mother's given name. It is important to me!
Sounding a bit militant feminist now!

hello FarNorth - I hear what you are saying but everything is fine thank you and to be honest its not really important to us. Why would any other relatives change their name to mine? Aunts, Uncles nieces and nephews are ok as they are. Quite happy with their own names.

I just wanted to point out that there are often reasons why names and titles can be complicated.

Leticia,I'm trying to research my family tree,I find it complicated.Do you use one of the online genealogy sites? If so which one,and do you recommend it?
Thank you.

themoll you say :
I should make the effort to use his name but the thought of changing everything is too much.

Why should you do that, if everything is fine?
I wonder if any of your relatives (including your DH) are telling themselves they should make an effort to change their name to someone else's, perhaps to yours.

I do research my family tree - does that have something to do with it?

Do Women only have three choices; Mrs, Ms and Miss? I personally do not know anyone who calls themselves Miss anymore. I do however, know Women who use the term Ms. when called on to use a title, and many who like to call themselves by their married title of Mrs. However, although married, If I'm using any title at all, I prefer to use my title of Dr.

Just to put a spanner in the works.....I am married but use my maiden name. I always have despite being married before. I was cabin crew for years and could not be bothered to send my passport away for a name change in between flights. After my divorce I adopted 3 children (on my own) and they took on my name. I tend to use Ms as I am not my mother and I am not single. One of my children ended up at the same school as one of DH children. The ex had remarried and had taken on her husbands name......keeping up????... so it would have meant I had the same name as stepchild but not my child. All amicable and no child or any one in the extended family had a problem with this.

Tangled web and all that

I don't mind what I am called Mrs Ms Miss. My dh could not care less. And now, as most of our children are married, we all have different names anyway. Phew!

I should make the effort to use his name but the thought of changing everything is too much.

(for official forms and applications etc., I mean)

So presumably the only reason for people to have titles at all is to differentiate between the sexes?

Hey Cari Gransnet - welcome to this discussion, particularly given the views you express.

Nightown - many thanks for stating the obvious at 10.09 this morning. It's been stated a number of times on this thread but somehow the thread keeps meandering back to the notion that those Ms 's amongst us are the dreaded, terrifying, life changing Radical Feminists. Or maybe even a Monstrous Regiment of Wimin

I'm a Ms now I'm divorced but I don't object to letters addressed to Mrs. The only one I'm not happy with is a company who still address me as "Mr and Mrs". The change of surname question is interesting, specially now there are more possibilities. A young male friend took his husband's name when he married.

I'll try to remember to ask my lesbian friends what they prefer for titles. Including one complicated household where one of the (four) members is a Mx.

Well,it seems not everyone feels hostility toward me,thank you for that.
The ones that called me smug,not a nice thing to be,I hope I'm not that.
Proud of my friends and family,yes. I know it hasn't been all ups for any of us.When I see so many broken families.
Complacency,never,"there but the grace of "ect.
Leticia,call your self what you like.Whats in a name? Everything apparently,Ever tried searching your family tree.

Cari isn't it the point of Ms that you don't need to explain why you use it? It's not just for divorcees, or people who don't want to be Miss, or even just for radical feminists . It's (stating the obvious here) for any woman who thinks her marital status does not need to be announced by her title.

So no explanations necessary and certainly no need to duck!!!!