The Italians, French and Spanish have nothing like our alcohol related problems, palliser. 
To be honest, I get a bit twitchy at the call of 'killjoy' and equivalent - like your 'miserable rules '. What's more miserable than an elderly drunkard and the family having to cope?
I am not saying you are an elderly drunkard, btw 
What would you put in Room 101?
Last three letters contd. November 2015
Alphabetical Fauna (mammals, birds, reptiles, fish, insects etc.)




.
and
And a block of dark chocolate .....