DH is talking about retiring - shock horror!

We are just on a willy nilly holiday at the moment.......it's great!
Don't worry about old age Kitty( obviously, it's all downhill to the grave, but while you are sliding down it, enjoy the view!)
We have been retired together for nine years and it's fine.

nought wrong with that kitty honest - enjoy.

svc = dgc - pesky phone!!

I have lots of things to keep me busy - I volunteer, look after svc, visit mum, see friends, I enjoy cooking and shopping (he'd hate that), we have a cleaner and have different areas of responsibility in the garden. I don't want my life to change and it feels like slipping into decreptitude!

The next thing you know we will be booking holidays willy nilly like real retirees!!
I think we may have ruled out a dog Tegan.

kitty it does take time to find the right balance between enjoying some new things together and giving each other space. DH thought it would be lovely for him to go everywhere with me and that I would love to have him trail round the supermarket with me and insist on packing the bags his way. He took over the housework initially as he had too much time to kill and I resented it as I like doing my housework - weird I know but that's me. Anyway now we are a few years on and he does the housework (which he thinks only needs doing once a week) on Wednesday morning while I naff off to the golf club. I come home housework and ironing is all done then he goes to bowls and I settle down in front of Netflix with a glass of wine - a good day. My strongest piece of advice to anyone retiring is be careful if you are planning to downsize- keep as much house going as you can afford to - you are both going to need your own space and a house can feel awfully small in the depths of winter when you are at home al day falling over each other.

Retirement takes a lot of adjusting on both sides. I do believe it is easier if both have always had independent interests, hobbies, activities- and neither expects to be 'velcroed' to the other 24/7.

Having said that, and taking on your concerns- life is really just too short to be working full time at 70. DH is the same age, worked full on and very long hours till 63- then retired from one day to the next- and has never looked back. He does not expect me to the there all the time- as I've never been- always been very active and working too- so it is 'normal' for us.

Whatever you do, do NOT downsize now, at least not too much- having space makes a big difference. Bonne chance, we will have a chat about this soon.

I understand your concerns. DH still works p/t (68) and am happy for him to keep doing so. Partly because he does not have many other things to keep him busy or social locally and he seems reluctant to build up a social life away from work or the old pals we have known for years but who live a bit away from here.

If he were home full time I think it would drive us both bonkers! I plan to give up all paid work at Easter, when I am 65. However I have got involved in 2/3 different non work based groups locally and got to know people where we now live.

My advice is to get involved in a couple of local organisations. (Lions Club, local charity, town twinning etc etc) so that you both have another aspect of shared experience to sustain you when work is not filing that gap! However it is easy to say but harder to do! I am still trying to get DH to show an interest in something else before he stops work completely!

Good luck

Did you talk about possibly getting another dog a while back kitty? I know it would tie you down in some ways but I find that I can do a lot of things on my own [go out for the day or sometimes two days] because one of us 'has to stay behind to look after the dog'. The routine of walking it would give him something to occupy himself with and a bit of a routine.

DH retired from the Police Force aged 49. I carried on working part-time until my late 50's, plus we look after various DGC at least 2 days a week. He has now been retired 18 years.
We both have different hobbies and he does voluntary work several days a month in the countryside. We still child-mind each week and do school runs. Most of the time it's fine! Luckily we are both fairly fit, and take no medication.

My problem at the moment is that DH who gave up the allotment because of back pain, (not someone who will battle through) is now saying that the garden is too much for me (my love and hobby). I have always done it on my own and now DH is continually putting pressure on me to dig up all my beloved plants and membrain it. I feel extremely irritated by this, it is as if he wants to get old before he has to. I am not prepared to give in until the bitter end. That's my moan for the day!!!

Don't worry about it, it will just settle down and find its own level. Maybe he can take over some of the things you usually do and enjoy them. DH has taken over the cooking which means he has also taken over the shopping and clearing up the kitchen. Now why would I object to that? A friend's DH started the cooking when he was retired and she was still working part time. She kept going in the kitchen and telling him how he should be doing it. Big mistake, he stopped!

Fortunately we have enough room to get away from each other during the day and don't even try to share our time unless we are doing something together. It works really well for us, we even email each other rather than disturbing if it is simply a diary matter.

Sit back and enjoy it.

Now I'm really worried Stansgran!

It has come to a head now because he is just getting more and more busy with next to no spare time at all. He has really enjoyed working until the last couple of months but is now finding the expectations placed upon him too much. I think my worry is entirely selfish - I don't want to change my life as it is and I am worried that it is a down hill now until we die! I think I need one of those pills!! Or

I would be interested to know why it has come to the point when he has suggested. I now find DH is overly interested in what I do. Who says what to me what's in that email what did you talk aboutEtc. I have to share more than I would have done if he had been at work. His friends tend to be a taciturn and eccentric collection--slightly barmy-- and they do a fair amount together but he has become very dependent on me for entertainment which I find a bit too much.