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Christmas risk assessment

(7 Posts)
Luckygirl Thu 24-Dec-15 10:35:32

Please be advised that all employees planning to dash through the snow in a one-horse open sleigh, going over the fields and laughing all the way are required to undergo a Risk Assessment addressing the safety of open sleighs.

The assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a venture, particularly where there are multiple passengers. Please note that permission must also be obtained in writing from ladowners before their fields may be entered. To avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we request that laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be considered a noise nuisance.

Benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available for collection by any shepherds planning or required to watch their flocks at night. While provision has also been made for remote monitoring of flocks by CCTV cameras from a centrally heated shepherd observation hut, all facility users are reminded that an emergency response plan must be submitted to account for known risks to the flocks. The angel of the Lord is additionally reminded that prior to shining his/her glory all around s/he must confirm that all shepherds are wearing appropriate Personal Protective Equipment to account for the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and the overwhelming effects of Glory

Following last year’s well publicised case, everyone is advised that legislation prohibits any comment with regard to the redness of any part of Mr. R. Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of Mr. R Reindeer from reindeer games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against those found guilty of this offence.

While it is acknowledged that gift-bearing is commonly practised in various parts of the world, particularly the Orient, everyone is reminded that the bearing of gifts is subject to Hospitality Guidelines and all gifts must be registered. This applies regardless of the individual, even royal personages. It is particularly noted that direct gifts of currency or gold are specifically precluded under provisions of the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act. Further, caution is advised regarding other common gifts, such as aromatic resins that may initiate allergic reactions.

Finally, for those involved in the recent case of the infant found tucked up in a manger without any crib for a bed, Social Services have been advised and will be arriving shortly.

Wishing you a very Merry Christmas – be safe out there.......

Teetime Thu 24-Dec-15 11:10:34

Further to useful guidance above I would add:

That if anyone is to shine their glory all around, they should first consult the Dignity at Work (prevention of harassment) code and consider offence may be caused to other parties. Any party taking offence to the shining of another’s glory all around may raise a complaint, informally in the first instance, under the Grievance Procedure.

That the receiving of gifts such as gold, frankinstein and grrrrrr must be declared for the conflict of interest register. Where such gifts have a value exceeding £5, they must be declined.

Merry Christmas!!!
DD1 sent this out to her company - she is Director of HR!

Galen Thu 24-Dec-15 11:20:05

That's great. I'm laughing out loud and all the posh lounge ladies are,giving me funny looks!

ninathenana Thu 24-Dec-15 11:24:24

tchgrintchgrin love it.

Charleygirl Thu 24-Dec-15 17:52:41

Very clever

loopylou Thu 24-Dec-15 18:08:31

Brilliant! tchgrin

phoenix Thu 24-Dec-15 19:01:31