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Last woman standing

(23 Posts)
Cherrytree59 Mon 04-Jan-16 19:50:31

I'm going into the New Year feeling a bit strange.
My father passed away last year
So apart from an aunt who lives miles away, I am at the grand old age of 56 the oldest member of my family. My sister and cousins are all younger than me
To top it all I'm now older than my mother.
I am Very lucky to have lovely DH. DC and DGC But there's nobody left who knew me as a child or youngster
Also don't feel old and wise enough yet to to deal out pearls of wisdom to the younger generation.
Anybody else feel the same?

shysal Mon 04-Jan-16 21:01:31

I hadn't even thought about the fact that I have been the matriarch of the family for several years. I certainly don't dole out wise advice, except to try and calm DD1's panic attacks and anxiety. In fact I don't feel that I have ever quite grown up myself!
Don't feel downhearted cherrytree, just continue to enjoy your family. flowers

Ana Mon 04-Jan-16 21:06:22

I've been an orphan for 15 years, and am twice the age now that my mother was when she died.

I agree with Shysal's advice!

Sugarpufffairy Tue 05-Jan-16 01:30:50

I might be the old matriarch of the family but I like nothing better than being "out to play" with DGC.

numberplease Tue 05-Jan-16 01:45:27

I know I`m getting on, but I felt really old when I realised that I only have one relative older than me, my cousin, he`s 3 years older than I am, but it`s sickening, because he looks about 15 years younger than me!

goose1964 Tue 05-Jan-16 07:06:03

thought I was & then I remembered my aunts

downtoearth Tue 05-Jan-16 08:42:53

I too at 63 and 7 days ,am the tribal elder,who likes nothing more than kicking up her heels and having fun.I have been an orphan for 8 years,having reached the same age as my dad when he died.
It is scary thinking about climbing to the top of the will just make sure they have a few good stories to tell about me and remember me by grin

annodomini Tue 05-Jan-16 09:39:01

Good thinking, downtoearth. I overtook my mum thirty years ago and will overtake my dad in three months' time. Now thinking what I can do this year to assert my individuality eccentricity.

Teetime Tue 05-Jan-16 09:45:29

I'm the matriarch at 63 in fact I was 53 although I have an older brother but he doesn't act as head of the family and never has (doesn't enjoy responsibility), I do miss my lovely Aunties - I could sit and listen to their stories all day and they were such fun too. I miss having someone older to talk with and get some advice from.

Luckygirl Tue 05-Jan-16 10:19:50

Luckily my brother is 18 months older than me, so I am not next in line to fall off my perch!

M0nica Tue 05-Jan-16 10:42:35

Where does family stop? parents? grandparents? cousins? DF was one of the eldest in a very large and long lived family. His youngest sister is still alive and thriving in her late 80s, I also have 3 first cousins older than me. Very straight forward.

On DMs side the story is too complicated to write about. I am certainly the eldest in the direct line. DM's only sibling was childless and I am DM's eldest child, and only one of my generation to have children, but if I go any further, not only do I not know any of my extended family, I have actually discovered in the last few months, through Ancestry, that several members of DGM's family who I had always understood died young, unmarried and childless, certainly died young, but not unmarried and childless.

Cherrytree59 Tue 05-Jan-16 12:37:05

Thank you all for your imput
I'm not upset by any means. I have too much to be happy for.
It was just a strange feeling that washed over me when it suddenly dawned on me ( whilst making the bed!)
Downtoearth I'm going with Tribal Elder, I will inform my tribe in due coursegrin

M0nica Tue 05-Jan-16 12:57:11

I understand that feeling, I felt the same this year when I discovered, having thought all my life that my sisters and I, and now my children, were the only descendents of my maternal grandmother's generation, that there are actually at least a dozen more as two of DGM's siblings had children

Katek Tue 05-Jan-16 13:03:14

At 66 and 2 months I have been an orphan for 16 years. I have one aunt (maternal uncle's wife) whom I haven't seen for decades-other than that I am the matriarch which I don't really want to be.

jinglbellsfrocks Tue 05-Jan-16 13:30:04

I passed the age my mum died thirty years ago. No idea when my biological father died but he must be well gone by now. I have never thought of myself as being an 'orphan'! Isn't that just for little kids? grin

I've got some older cousins.

jinglbellsfrocks Tue 05-Jan-16 13:31:00

I am definitely the "matriarch" though! wink grin

jinglbellsfrocks Tue 05-Jan-16 13:31:22

Great thought that!

Stansgran Tue 05-Jan-16 14:18:42

DH calls me the She Elephant. Father died when I was in my teens. Mother died when I was32.

Wendysue Tue 05-Jan-16 15:04:53

I think I know that feeling you're talking about, cherrytree. It's the one I got when the last of my 3 brothers passed on (all 3 died too early) and I realized I was the last one left of those who lived in my house growing up. Now and then, that feeling still comes over me. I'm not the oldest in my family - I have a few cousins older than me, both male and femaile. But as my parents and brothers are all gone, I'm the oldest one left from that household.

Most of the time, though, like yourself, I'm very happy. I take much joy in my DDs and my DGC.

Even if I were the oldest member/female in my extended family, I wouldn't worry about dispensing "pearls of wisdom" to the younger people. Not sure I have any, LOL! And they probably wouldn't want them, anyhow! My DDs and their friends, at least, seem to be more interested in seeking information on the Web than from any of us GPs or older cousins and so forth. LOL!

grannyjack Tue 05-Jan-16 18:41:53

I am supposedly the 'matriarch' being the eldest however my youngest sister is a doctor & is obviously superior to the rest of us so I let her dole out the advice. She knows everything about childbirth & rearing children despite never having any herself. Being an anaesthetist her patients are usually blissfully asleep & miss a great deal of the 'expert' knowledge she passes on so freely.

Yes she is irritating but she is my sister & we all accept her advice with grace - & talk about it later!

grannybuy Tue 05-Jan-16 20:39:33

My mother often lamented in later life that there was no one left that remembered what she remembered. No one to talk about the good and bad times. She was the youngest of nine, and the last to die. That must feel a little like being in limbo. Her family played a large part in her life, and meant more to her in many ways than those who came after ie myself, younger brother and my 3 DC , and DGC. Sad.

jenn Tue 05-Jan-16 22:32:58

I have just lost my sister and realise that there is no one left that knew me as a child or teenager.It is a strange feeling to know I can never again say"Do you remember" and laugh about our early family life. A whole part of my life gone.

Nelliemoser Tue 05-Jan-16 23:23:28

I have a cousin and a sister both just 4yrs older than me, then that is it. My parents both died in 2002 my dad would have been 100 last August.

I am not yet in the position of being the matriarch but I find the idea very frightening.

I don't really have any close blood relatives I could confide in if I needed to, in fact my sister in law is probably the nearest "relative" who could do that.