Gransnet forums


Looking after twins

(17 Posts)
siomatan1 Tue 26-Jan-16 08:11:21

wondered if there was something like mumsnet for grandparents. My daughter went back to work in October last year, in order for her to do this, both sets of grandparents need to share the childcare, twins double up the cost of everything, she would not be able to afford the childminding costs. Every monday i arrive at 8am and my daughter gets home at 5pm. My two grandsons are sixteen months, I love them to bits, but when I get home I am absolutely shattered, and I must admit to feeling a slight sense of dread each Sunday evening. They have just started walking !!!

Auntieflo Tue 26-Jan-16 08:32:37

I'm sure you will get lots of helpful advice from the GN'ers. I have never been required to look after GC long term, just the occasional overnighter. How the GN'ers manage to do this is beyond me? Maybe I have lost the maternal gene, but I wasn't one who longed for the GC to come and stay. Love them all, yes, unreservedly, but I suppose that having our first two, then a long gap, and then a beautiful surprise later on, has put paid to my grandparenting instinct for having them here. confused. Hope it all works out with both sets of grandparents sharing the load. flowers

NanaandGrampy Tue 26-Jan-16 08:39:43

It IS hard work and sometimes I think our children forget that - its ok when you're 20 or 30 but by the time you hit 50-60 its not quite the walk in the park it once was.

I know just what you mean about loving them and feeling exhausted by the time you get home. We have 4 DGC ranging from 2-9 years and we tend to have quite a lot of overnights, not for childcare but because they want to come and stay at Nana and Grampys !

I love having them but there is a real sigh of relief when their parents come for them.

Good luck with twins , double trouble but double the fun !!

whitewave Tue 26-Jan-16 08:51:52

Yes undoubtedly nature knew her stuff when she decided that we should no longer bear children once we got to 50.

But of course we are still here to lend a hand with the grandchildren which is knackering. Mine are teenagers and 11 now so past that stage, but if my DS ever decided to produce I am not sure I could look after them on a permanent basis as 70 next birthday. Mind you if there was no alternative what else would I do!
One consolation It doesn't last for ever. What age do they start nursery? Shouldn't be much longer - is it 3 or 2?

Anya Tue 26-Jan-16 09:43:16

Hang on in there siom it gets easier as they get older and can push each other over play with each other more.

Saxifrage Tue 26-Jan-16 10:36:14

I do sympathise, I looked after my twin grandaughters .8 years ago for a day a week. One of the things that made it easier was having the right equipment for instance we had a blowup paddling pool type thing permanently up and full of plastic balls. The girls loved it and I could safely put them in that while I went to the loo or answered the phone. My daughter was very organised and made and froze suitable food so that it was always available and just needed a quick microwave. In some ways I think they were easier to handle than toddler DGD I look after at present. Of course I am 8 years older but If one was being difficult about putting on coat or eating lunch, just concentrating on the good one seemed to do the trick! We never had major strop. I also found outings to toddler music group at end of the road very useful and, of course trips to the park. I imagine grandsons could be more boisterous than the girls but I do hope you find ways to enjoy it all. Good luck.

Luckygirl Tue 26-Jan-16 11:50:05

In March we will be adding in an 11 month old to the 3 year old whom we care for one day a week. We have opted to have them on different days - I know this will add up to more of the week spent on childcare, but we feel it will be easier for us. Not only will we not have them both squabbling, but one of the joys of the day DGD already spends with us is that she behaves very well as she is not in competition with anyone and enjoys the 1:1 attention that she gets. Could you split the twins and have them one at a time? - this might actually be very good for them.

You are definitely not alone in being knackered by the child care! - but it saves my DD and her OH over £700 a year which is a huge chunk or their salary so we are happy to do it as long as we can.

Saxifrage Tue 26-Jan-16 13:07:41

Luckygirl, really interested that you have decided to play it that way. We have gone to the other extreme. At present we have 3 year old DGD all day and then go and pick up her 3 cousins (aged 8, 8 and 10) from school. We then all go to their house and I cook supper for the 4 of them. This seems to work well as the older ones really like the toddler and look after her and read to her. She of course adores the older ones. We have just agreed that after September we are going to try having 9 month old sister as well all day and continuing with the older ones the same day. This could be the straw that breaks the camels back! I will be interested to hear how your option goes.

Luckygirl Tue 26-Jan-16 13:19:32

Good luck Saxifrage! smile

Indinana Tue 26-Jan-16 14:23:16

Goodness me Saxifrage, that is an heroic undertaking shock. I do hope you survive grin. Love your name, btw.

ninathenana Tue 26-Jan-16 17:46:29

Yes, I admire you for that saxifrage not something I would want to undertake.
Until last year we looked after DGS three days a week. Of course I miss them, I do not miss the childcare.

ninathenana Tue 26-Jan-16 17:47:23


jinglbellsfrocks Tue 26-Jan-16 17:56:25

It's a shame your DD has to go out to work siomatan. She must be missing out on so much by not being able to be with her twins during the day. sad I suppose there is no way she could manage without working. Perhaps cutting back on her budget somehow?

You are being asked to do an awful lot.

Ana Tue 26-Jan-16 18:00:53

I'm a bit confused by the OP. Is it only for one day a week?

I looked after my twin GDs every Friday until they started nursery - it was knackering all right but like the OP's DD, mine couldn't afford full-time child care.

jinglbellsfrocks Tue 26-Jan-16 18:02:31

I think it is for the whole of the working week, alternatively with the other grandparents.

SusieB50 Tue 26-Jan-16 18:03:28

My DS AND DiL had twins five years ago and DiL returned to work 4 days a week when they were one year . I had them one day a week from 8-6 but really found it too much .I was relieved when she decided she missed them too much and now free-lances from home . I pick them up go from school once a week to give her a few more hours to work and then take them home around 6 which I really enjoy . My DD is about to produce her second soon and I am a bit anxious about how much childcare she is going to request !! I agree our children seem to be oblivious of our ageing !

Greenfinch Tue 26-Jan-16 18:59:59

We have looked after our twin grandchildren regularly since they were born eight years ago. I was sixty when we started and more mobile than I am now but we found it helpful to take them out and about and also we made sure. They had an afternoon sleep/rest for the first three years at least.

We would take them to a local twins club one morning,aplaygroup on another day and some days we would have a trip to the library. l also resurrected some old friends l hadn't seen for years and invited them for coffee. It is surprising how another pair of hands can help out.It was great fun and I miss those early years but we still have them after school two days a week.