Don't read if easily offended

Just read these posts and I am from a family who love lavatorial humour ( I'm one of 5 - 3 brothers).
I have lolled at this thread with tears rolling down my cheeks!!!
Thank you so much for entertaining me on a wet, nasty Saturday. I really needed this to make my day as my DH still in bed (as is the norm any day of the week) - he's never been diagnosed as Bipolar but I, and our 4 DC think he is definitely on the spectrum.
Love GN - keeps me sane and has loads of helpful advice.

.y first day o here and fell right into this one I have a waked sense of humour and thought it was funny. How do I get to know folks etc on here

Wasn't me was it?

????? Sorry, I really shouldn't ? ????? I've been drinking red wine and increasing my cancer risk again. Well, it is Friday night!

after a knee replacement op I was sent to one of our local hospitals where most of the inhabitants are rather elderly [to say the least - at 59 I was the youngest]. I spent almost two weeks in there recuperating as I had nobody at home to look after me.

every night the little woman in the corner bed would walk past everyone else on her way to the bathroom. she was as deaf as a post apparently.

however every night without fail this little woman would issue the loudest, longest fart I've ever heard!!

everyone else was falling around laughing [how we never fell out of bed I don't know] but she was completely oblivious - I suppose as she never heard it she didn't do it!!

After a major op. The consultant used pop his head into my bay and ask 'Passed wind yet T.....' This went on for two days. On the 3rd day he was seeing a patient in opposite bed. My curtains were drawn. I kept feeling the wind moving round and round inside me. I thought "I'll get you this time" I rolled sideways and slowly but surely it emerged....'Weeeeeeéooooooweeeeèweeeeee........'on and on it went, like a balloon being released. The consultant called across the bay. 'That's what I mean T...... Well done!' The next time he came round it was 'Have you opened your bowels yet'?

I wonder why not finding farts funny is regarded as being prudish- I just don't get it. But I do have a sort of strange quirky sense of humour that means I laugh at really silly jokes other people don't appreciate. I don't condemn them as lacking a sense of humour so why should others regard my not getting fart humour as me being 'easily offended'? People fart, it happens, get over it!

bubbly that is the trouble with wind, it does tend to repeat (sorry!)

Grrrrrr, blown away by technology...

......who tens to repeat herself, sorry, silly Grandma....

My boyfriend, who later became my husband, kept things quiet so as not to offend me. He endured many episodes of tummy ache on my behalf. However, the first time we slept together, whilst he slept, I was engulfed by sound and smell that was to unearthly to describe!! Its now 30 plus years later and he no longer tries to not offend me........I'm a ruined woman......

My boyfriend, who later became my husband, kept things quiet so as not to offend me. He endured many episodes of tummy ache on my behalf. However, the first time we slept together, whilst he slept, I was engulfed by sound and smell that was to unearthly to describe!! Its now 30 plus years later and he no longer tries to not offend me........I'm a ruined woman......

My boyfriend, who later became my husband, kept things quiet so as not to offend me. He endured many episodes of tummy ache on my behalf. However, the first time we slept together, whilst he slept, I was engulfed by sound and smell that was to unearthly to describe!! Its now 30 plus years later and he no longer tries to not offend me........I'm a ruined woman......

My boyfriend, who later became my husband, kept things quiet so as not to offend me. He endured many episodes of tummy ache on my behalf. However, the first time we slept together, whilst he slept, I was engulfed by sound and smell that was to unearthly to describe!! Its now 30 plus years later and he no longer tries to not offend me........I'm a ruined woman......

My boyfriend, who later became my husband, kept things quiet so as not to offend me. He endured many episodes of tummy ache on my behalf. However, the first time we slept together, whilst he slept, I was engulfed by sound and smell that was to unearthly to describe!! Its now 30 plus years later and he no longer tries to not offend me........I'm a ruined woman......

Flower, that reminds me of the time DH and I were sitting down the garden one sunny afternoon, and our neighbour was doing a bit of weeding in her garden. There was a loud farting noise from the other side of the high fence.....! This was from the vicar's wife!!

Flowerofthewest I vote your post the winner so far. guffaw!!

Farting is a joke in our family because apart from my Mum, nobody owns up to it. Ever since we were little, my youngest brother has always been the one everyone points the finger at first and nothing's changed even though he's 50 now!

A lovely friend, quite prim and socially aware was hanging her washing out one morning. As she bent to pick up next piece of clothing she passed wind. A voice came over the garden wall "Good morning Christine". When relaying the story she exclaimed with horror "He's a HEADMASTER!!"

The first time I met the husband he farted ... I was mortified for him and said nothing. This was obviously a mistake (should have given him a whack!) as it turned into a starter for 10 and he proceeded to let rip at will! ?
Now our wee DGD joins in, sigh, sigh ...

Anyway, being brought up with toilet humour as the norm I found the OP funny! ???

OP Gill & Flower all made me chuckle. I'm definitely not an intellectual because I thought it was worded to make it funny so the grammar didn't matter. Who cares anyway. It would be completely different if it was an important statement or document but it's not. It's a JOKE and some people will find it and amusing and other won't. Since we've been busy posting about intimate washing, giving our vagina's/ vulva's pet names and shaving I'm sure a post about farting is just fine and won't offend most of us too much.

Gill and Flower, your posts made me laugh, too !
Anyone remember that clip of Peter Sellers farting in a lift, and how everyone fell about laughing? Don't know why we find it funny, because we don't laugh when someone burps - it's just funny, somehow.....

I laughed at your posts too GillT57 and Flowerofthewest

I think it runs in our family and being a vegetarian doesn't help.

I was babysitting my baby granddaughter. I felt a terrible need to pass wind. My two teenage grandchildren were in the lounge so I went upstairs on the pretext of checking the baby. I shut the nursery door and with great relief let off the loudest and longest fart ever. I then noticed a small green flashing light. Yes the baby monitor was on and in the living room

OH and I were also amused by the OP. What really offends me on Gransnet are the spiteful comments made by others who clearly consider themselves to be intellectually superior to other posters.