Am quite upset with my friend.

Family first always and in our circle of friends I often find that the men feel differently in this respect. Give him the benefit of the doubt that he is worried it will be too much for you but go look after your dgs, anyway.

Oh - just read your previous post and realised that your friend is gay so wont be a grandparent - sorry I missed that. Usually gay friends are the most tolerant and understanding. An off day for him I think.

Katek, does your friend have grandchildren ? I must admit to my shame that before we were grandparents I used to be a bit miffed when friends cried off in their grandkids favour (I never showed it though !!). However, when I became Nain I understood completely and have sometimes cancelled a friend at short notice. On the other hand, if he is a grandad then he should be more understanding !

Shelana fiends

He isn't thinking of you at all and sounds like his outburst was purely selfish does he have grandchildren of his own you need to do what you think is right.

He'll get over it, probably got out of bed the wrong side.

You could have asked him would he prefer you to meet him with DGS in tow and let the little one vomit all over him!! That would teach him! (But not really fair on DGS)

Katek sorry we cross posted (wish I could type faster). Glad you can make allowances for your friend and hope you both get a little snooze!
????

Be magnaminous toward your friend Katek.
Ive been there and it can make one feel pushed out or unimportant. I never complained though. Just kept my hurt feelings to myself. One can accept these type of disappointments in the head but sometimes the heart hurts. Its not worth it affecting a 30 year old friendship so just accept it as part of lifes rich tapestry,
is my advice.

On a happier note - dgs and I are snuggled under a throw watching Tractor Ted while it pours with rain outside. Hoping he may nod off.

The guy just had a bad moment. He obviously knew he'd been unreasonable and rang Katek and sent a text because he's bothered about what he said to his friend. We've all done that at some time. Give him a break.

To explain a little more - my friend is gay and married his long term partner last year. I was best person at their wedding. We have a 30 year friendship through theatrical interests and have co-directed many shows together. We will be starting preliminary work on this year's panto very soon. They obviously have no children of their own but are godfathers to various nieces/nephews. My friend really only has responsibility for himself and, to a lesser degree, his husband, but has no real experience of the bonds of parent/grandparenthood. I do try and make allowances but yesterday he was def out of order.

My friends and I have an understanding that family comes first. None of us would mind if we had to cancel/rearrange if we were needed by our children.

I used to belong to a bowls club & it always amazed me how many of them had the attitude that they had brought up their own children & now it was their time to play. They were horrified that I was picking children up from school (about once a week if that!) & babysitting. I was really ticked off & told ' your children decided to have children- now let them lump it!'
I love picking the children up & spending time with them- for heaven's sake they are going to be young for such a short time- enjoy them.

Note I say USED to belong- I got fed up with being preached to all the time.

Sounds a bit like a friend of mine, never had children himself and totally devoid of understanding that children and grandchildren will always come first.

I love any opportunity to spend time with my wonderful grandchildren and jump at every chance I get. It seems your 'friend' could be a tad jealous.

Nothing to be upset about. I would go, and jump at the chance

You did the right thing. I would do the same for my family n he should understand. I would be upset too. He sounds a bit immature n selfish tbh

Fiends and partners do go a bit moody if they feel that your family is getting more attention A bit of jealousy creeps in.This usually passes and we all get these feelings from time to time.Probably not too serious.Talk it over if necessary....

He's disappointed...and he's a man. QED

Definitely did the right thing! - - and if ' the friend' was a' true friend 'they would understand that this was something you had to do - -especially if he knows what a lovely caring person you obviously are.

Dear Katek, You did the right thing by agreeing to look after your grandchildren. That is what family is for a team to support the next generation in growing up and letting their mums and dads get to work and keep a job.

It seems from your post that your husband is away and your male friend, whom you see weekly, is not happy that you are cancelling. Does he own you? Does his friendship with you have a significance you do not intend?

Maybe when you next meet up you will have a conversation which clarifies your boundaries and priorities. Good friends are what we all need but family relationships with grandchildren and their parents I am sure come first.

What a very immature response from your friend, Katek, but he was obviously disappointed. I expect he's regretting it now.

You did the Right Thing and he'll have to get over it. You aren't responsible for his reaction or for his feelings about it.
grumppa agreed - same here, and I'm sure the same applies to most grandparents here.

That said I used to feel disappointed and irritated when (before I was a grandparent!) my friend was constantly cancelling arrangements, not always for emergencies either - but simply because her rather manipulative daughter felt like asking her mother to have the children. It got to the stage when I expected any arrangement we'd made to be cancelled. I said nothing though - as I was rather mood-unstable at the time I thought it was my problem and didn't want to make her feel guilty so I tried to be as accomodating and understanding as I could. It did build up a lot of tension in me though which I didn't know how to deal with!

However.....this is different ... so obviously an emergency and he needs to learn to accept that this is going to happen sometimes because g/c get ill!

I note that you say friend is a male and you do have a DH, I find it a little strange that a friend can be that possessive. I think my DH would take a dim view of me out to lunch with another man. Family always comes first, especially sick GC.