My first DH was very good at buying elaborate, quite expensive and apparently thoughtful gifts, and there were quite a lot of flowers -not just for special days and anniversaries. My second DH did not do much for birthdays or Christmas at first, but we talked about it and he realised it was actually important to me. We live quite frugally, rarely go out / spoil ourselves, so a treat for birthday/ Christmas is all the more welcome. What he needed was not just ideas, but some specific pointers towards what I would like - yes, THAT top from M&S, THAT pair of earrings etc. But over time, he has gained confidence and now makes his own choices for me. We often joke that he is 'trained' now, but the reality is he listened and realised it was important to me - not the monetary value, but the thoughtfulness. - and he made the effort. He very rarely buys me flowers, but when he does, I am touched by the gift. With my first DH, I now see the frequent bunches of flowers as his way of feeling less guilty about his dalliances!!!