Open letter to all Gners

thatbags you are making it up as you go along! GNHQ did, according to GrandTea, ask him to change the title.

The reason that I knew it had been reported was that GNHQ contacted me by email, as it appears they do. They did not say who had reported me or the specific reason, just that they wanted me to change the title of the thread to something that could not be complained about.

Apparently many, including GrandTea, do not respect the Mods wishes but that is not the same as them not saying it.

They can't. I think HQ probably told G&T that someone wanted the thread title changed. They needn't have told him that or anything since no change was made (by them: the only ones who can). I guess someone was going to change it, or agreed with the complainant that it needed changing, and then was advised otherwise.

For which advice, or clarity of thought by WhoeverHQ, I'm heartily thankful.

I think nasty PMs are very cowardly. If you can't say it in front of everyone, stay schtum. The messages I've had have usually been putting me right on something I've misunderstood - in a very nice way, to stop me making even more of a fool of myself!

How can posters change the title of a thread when there isn't an edit facility???

I don't think anyone should be sending such PMs "TriciaF". I have a feeling that is exactly what the mods on any site would not want you to do.

On one forum I joined (little knowing ) PMs had been turned off because they had problems with people letting other people know they were offended. It had undermined the forum and I didn't stay long.

You are so kind JbF but we all have to learn I'm afraid I can't remember, it was a long time ago so perhaps I took notice of what was suggested as, of course, we all should.

thatbags they were not just telling the OP of that thread that someone has complained. They were asking him to change the title from what he said. I am sure they would not send out unnecessary emails.

Maybe if a thread or a post offends someone they should pm the poster first before reporting. To give them a chance to make changes if they agree, or want. It doesn't need to be a nasty pm.
I've only once reported a thread (I think) because I thought it was spam or commercial.
As Kitty says, so many different natures, and I'm not confrontational.

Should be three asterisks for banned.

Could we have some sort of signal on our names to indicate we are in that rather exclusive(?) club of people who have been reproved by Gnhq ?
* a reproof from hq
** a deleted thread
* barred or banned but returned
Wear your asterisks with pride.
Please don't go GandT. Perhaps whoever complained just simply doesn't post just reads.
Thank you someone for the expression about walking over hot coals so as to complain. I've added it to my useful phrases.
Annsixty

Which thread title was that gg? Do tell!

Can't imagin you putting a foot wrong.

gg, I don't think anyone has said HQ should "take no notice" of the complainant. That is certainly not what I said, nor what I meant in my earlier comments. I meant that they should consider very carefully (which I'm sure they do most of the time) whether the poster whose post is being complained about needs to know that someone complained. That's not taking no notice; it's considering whether a certain course of action (informing the poster of the complained about post) is necessary.

If they decide such an action isn't necessary, they can then explain their reasons to the complainant. Notice will have been taken and an assessment made.

It's what they do very well most of the time, just thst this time I (and others) think they got it wrong.

annsixty . Keep feeling free to "get it out".

Well said Tegan. I can never understand why people come on to a forum (it's not only GN) to say "I'm going". What do they expect everyone to say; people are generally kind so they will say "oh please don't go". If you feel like a bit of time out just take it and come back when you are feeling better.

It is no good criticising GNHQ, they are doing their job. I was miffed when they commented on my thread title but I went away and thought about it, thought they probably knew more than I did about running a forum of this type, came back and got on with things.

I also think that, of those who are saying GNHQ should have taken no notice of the complainant, there may well be those who have complained about others - as they should do if they think something is wrong - in the past and expected GNHQ to assess their complaint even-handedly just as they appear to have done in this case.

this thread Pomps. The first post. The one where I opened my gob and put foot straight in it.

My grandmother seemed to have an answer for just about everything - when asked if someones unpleasant remark about her had upset her she said that of course their opinion mattered - just not to her! I remember that whenever I read an unpleasant post

Enough said! kitty has put it in a nutshell.

ann I am so sorry that you are going through so much trauma at present. I just cannot imagine what your home life is at present as I am very well aware of the situation. That is not supposed to be a contradiction! Loads of

JBF, I must search back for your "Bald "post so that I can take umbrage

Vulnerability comes in many forms. I am very vulnerable with my situation with my H and his illness which is getting more and more difficult. I am in constant pain with my knee. I am going to Manchester eye hospital this afternoon for an appt with yet a third team to assess my atypical AMD and I find it hard to read yet again to read of people living exciting and interesting lives surrounded by their oh so perfect families. What do I do? I suck it up,shrug and envy them their good fortune.
This is a big diversion, sorry, I just had to get it out.

No jingle; I wasn't referring to that as I don't regard myself as elderly and vulnerable.

There will never be pax on GN. That's why the whole thing is just not worth it.

I suppose it takes all sorts, doesn't it. I am quite a cheerful soul (gran of little brain!) but others are much more intense and deep thinking.

We have impish, sad, tired, carefree or troubled members and most of us are probably a mixture but, IMHO, there should be room for all of us - a bit like real life.

And some members should be a lot less flipping judgmental.

I'm all for pax, with suitable adjustments at HQ to prevent such unnecessary upsettings from happening again

If you mean my "Right. Who's gonna be first to admit to being bald?" which I posted long ago on a hair loss thread, I can only say, for God's sake let it go! You've aimed plenty back at me missis.

Getting off this thread now.