Gravestones

I understand bereaved people being offended by negative comments about gravestones, but seeing some carved with packs of cards and fourwheel drive vehicles certainly seems to go against accepted standards of good taste. I would never voice this opinion to the family involved though.

Our friends were both drystane dykers, so when the husband died his wife designed a small cairn with a brass plaque to go on his grave. A team of friends including my DH volunteered to collect the stone and build the cairn. So far so good and the finished cairn is lovely and so appropriate. BUT it took 18 months to get permission to erect it on the grave and further the work of building it had to be carried out before 8am or after 9pm when the cemetery was closed to the public. As the gates were always locked promptly, the work party had usually to clamber over the fence with their tools and had to pay an extra fee to have the gates opened at 7.30am for delivery of the heavy stones. All this because the cairn was deemed to be a 'non-standard' monument.

It was notable when we gathered to dedicate the cairn, that on nearly all the subsequent graves in that row of the cemetery the grave stones had been placed for some time and many of them were decidedly 'unusual' to say the least. I suspect the definition of 'standard' is 'anything that has been bought (at great expense) from a known Monumental Sculptor'.

No, not at all Regalo. I agree with you.

Sorry jinglbellsfrocks..I didn't intend to make you feel sad! Just stating facts...how ever ridiculous they seem!

Yes he was buried Jalima. Suicides were always buried behind the church in unconsecrated ground, when we had the death penalty murders were buried within prison grounds.

Weird Jings? Surely not !!

Sorry, but I'm going to really lower the tone now. I hope nobody is offended but all this talk of gravestones and inscriptions reminded me of a joke my mother used to tell:

Alice dies, aged 78, having attended church in Bolton every Sunday of her life. Her husband, Joe, asks the stonemason for a headstone with the words: 'Lord, she was thine'. The stonemason writes: 'Lord she was thin'. Joe says: '"You've missed off the e, you'll have to do it again." Weeks later Joe goes to see the stone on the grave, and it now reads:
'E Lord she was thin'.

no grave to place flowers on or carry the name of the loved one
There is an inscription at Runnymede RAF Memorial Garden Anniebach which we have been to see.

Did he get buried in the end Anniebach?

I think that years ago people who committed suicide could not be buried on consecrated ground, I suppose the same for murderers.

We have quite a few hamsters buried in our garden, they each had their little cross.

I do think that the black headstones with gold lettering would be fine; if the lettering doesn't wear away it will make it easier for people doing family history research in years to come. Sometimes it is very difficult to decipher the letters on an old gravestone.

Many years ago there was a jail here, in the seventies a housing association bought the land. They dug up a skeleton , rang the police, my husband went down and worked in the case. On record a young lad had berm hanged for murdering his Aunt so the problems started, no room for the remains of a murderer, a row blew up between the council and the church , my husband kept the skeleton in a box under his desk untill they made a decision, he got so angry, threatened to bury the body at night in a graveyard somewhere in the county, the church agreed to carry out the burial, sadly my husband died before the burial of the young lad, he had arranged a small service and for a few of us to attend

A family at the end of our road got planning permission to build a large extension on the back of their house. When the builders were digging the footings they unearthed human remains

The police were called but the bones turned out to date from the 13th & 14th century. In the end 27 bodies were exhumed for reinterment. It is thought that a priory once stood on this site and these were the graves of monks.

When my DD was first working she rented a house together with another teacher. One day when she arrived home after work she found the landlord and his wife digging a hole in the front garden to bury their cat. Bit odd we thought.

I have just read something really weird on here.

I am saying no more.

That wasn't to Regalo (whose post made me feel very sad )

Unfortunately many churches now have very strict guidelines for gravestones. We wanted to have a Welsh slate stone for my husband's eldest brother who died in infancy and to have it engraved with a simple rabbit as he took his toy rabbit everywhere with him. This had to go to an appeals panel and to be approved by a barrister...all costing us money. We won the rabbit bit but not the Welsh slate which was deemed not to be in keeping with the churchyard. Our precious twin grandsons are buried in the town cemetery where anything goes....people can express their loss there in exactly the way they want, with no restrictions. What a strange world we live in......

That's a lovely inscription Anniebach

DS2's ashes have been buried in my stepfather's grave, and we had the headstone redone, it is a very simple stone, and lies flat, rather than a standing one.

A few years back a new grave was adorned with solar powered lights, wind chimes, plastic animals and other things. It did look rather out of place in the setting, and was shortly after toned down a bit. Hopefully all parties concerned are ok with the result.

You can get one for your pet made to order, watermeadow. My DH got a very small one engraved by the local Monumental Masons for our cat and it cost nothing like £700!

Thank you Jamila. I think there is something so moving about a burial at sea, no grave to place flowers on or carry the name of the loved one but the sea is there , it has movement , it's so alive really

I have seven urns in my home, ashes of seven of my dogs. The will be scattered on my grave .

Yes I do wander through churchyards and cemeteries and want to be buried. I would want a headstone I liked or not have one at all, years ago only the rich had stones.
I have buried all my cats and dogs in the garden and wanted a stone with just a name.

I like the inscription you chose Anniebach, very moving.

I think my MIL would have liked that but unfortunately FIL was shot down over the sea so there is no grave.

A gravestone for a dog?
Is the grave in the garden?
I do know that one of our neighbours buried his large dog in a coffin the garden. Not sure if he took it with him when he moved.

There will always be nasty people , all that matters is the stone tells of love

My father died before I was born, killed on active service in WW2. I haven`t been to the grave in years, I don`t live in that area. My mother and grandma, his mother, couldn`t afford a fancy gravestone, and this is what they had, small, plain and simple. Some nasty person said it looked like someone had taken a hammer to it and hammered it into the ground.