Has social media made us all lazy about relationships?

It's all just more complicated see days isn't? What with different types of families, families all over the world. . .
I think you just have to go with the flow as long as you all see each other/face time some time does it matter when?

I feel that social media in some ways is seen as a replacement for such things as cards. Facebook has basically made it easy to remember someones birthday and wish them well within the same breathe, making them think sending a card is unnecessary; but I have to disagree!

Rather sad that so many of you are unhappy. When our daughters were in their teens & 20s no special days were acknowledged, they were far too wrapped up in themselves. But a few years of marriage & motherhood has changed that...the whole family came to our Father's Day Garden Party. DH who's not in the best of health loved every minute.As for social media,last summer over 40 of our huge Maltese family got together from 3 countries for a reunion in Malta thanks to Facebook...that's how we keep in touch.

We are all so different with what we place importance on and what can hurt us by others actions (or non-actions). I guess if everyone considered what would be most meaningful to the recipient, we would not go far wrong! Life is not always that simple though.

I have mixed feelings about this sort of thing. These 'special' days (or 'Hallmark days' as our son calls them) are a great opportunity for families to make an effort to fete the chosen one, but it can all go horribly wrong as the OP has highlighted. It can be hard for those who have lost a loved one, or whose families are no longer in touch; it can also be hard for those whose relationships were/are not healthy and wholesome.

But.....I was delighted that my children (and my parents in law) all made the effort to join in a family day and my husband and his dad were made much of, with cards and even gifts.

So pleased others felt the same way. We have 5 children not one of them popped down to see him. About 6pm 2 of out granddaughters arrived with cards and a present saying that Mam was too busy, we I've 5 min walk away, another daughter sent a message at 7pm saying she would be down to see him today, third daughter told me she would get him something next week, when I said he doesn't mind about a present it would have been for him to see her was told I will get him a present, one son sent a message at 11.30pm and didn't' hear anything from oldest son. He says he's not bothered but I get so annoyed with them. His children were his life and he always put them first and even now he is disabled he would and does drop everything if they need him. I also know that I would soon be told if I was late sending birthday cards because I have been in the past.

We always get moonlig/ funky pigeon cards from our eldest son.so semi technological I suppose. No wonder that man is a multi millionaire.

DD swanned off on a weekend retreat on Friday till Sunday, sending me a Facebook message after she'd left to make a card with DGD for Father's day as she'd forgotten!!!

Anyway, we baked muffins in the morning and made the card after nap-time in the afternoon. SIL and DGD came round yesterday with a card and chocolate for DH.

I'm not sure when Fathers Day is celebrated in the US and Denmark, but if it was yesterday too then DH's own DC didn't acknowledge it at all. Typical!

We don't expect visits as four out of the five are parents and we had our 'days' when they were children.

As it happened, we invited DD3 and her family for a meal as her partner is a fantastic 'father' to her children.

I was relieved to come across this thread, thought it was just me being daft. I've been harbouring resentment on behalf of DH towards part of the family all day. A bland text late afternoon sort of made it worse somehow yet the photo messages early in the morning from others with the promise of a card later felt just right. So not the technology but how it was used. Oh well, onwards with a when I see them.

It's swings and roundabouts. I sometimes get a text message or a facebook post when a visit or a phone call would be nicer, but facebook has enabled me to contact people I haven't seen for years and to keep in contact with others that I might have lost touch with.

DS remembers (well, he is a Dad himself!)
One DD remembers although it is a different day where she is, but the other one is completely oblivious to it all - it is also a different day where she is!!

Grannyben you're not 're only one to make that "mistake"!!

I agree Nina , no money needs to be spent a hand drawn picture made with love is a good substitute.

I take your point ffinnochio it works well for long distance relations . For me 3 miles and 7 miles ... Maybe less so.

I know what you mean GrannyBen . We did too good a job.

Social media has many benefits but just as one 'tool' in an arsenal of communications options. I love the small sound bites and pictures my daughters post on FB but I imagine it's a double edged sword if you're not part of your children/grand children's lives.

S bought his dad card. D brought the GC here for lunch but didn't bring a card. Not even hand made ones from the GC. I know she's in dire straits financially (she's living here and we're supporting her through college) but to just say "Happy Father's Day" and get the boys to draw cards would have been nice.

Short answer to the OP is no.
We live in different countries to our sons, who live in different countries to each other. One son facetimed this morning for a chat with his Dad. We were quite unaware about the supposed significance of this day until he mentioned it. Good chats had by all. The other son emailed checking his dad would be around at such and such a time (time zones). Good chat also had. Both sons found time to mark what they felt was a significant occasion.
So as far as we're concerned, the technology provided something far better than a card.
Communication comes in many forms .

We are always in a quandary about Father's Day. As it is a made up Hallmark holiday, DH says not to put more money in card producers' offers. However when there is no acknowledgement at all, he gets a bit huffy and sorry for himself. DS 2 resolved it by phoning him, DD gave him a card and chocolate from GS1. DS1 lives in Far East and although I had a missed call from him, DH has had no call. However DS1 may not realise significance, if any, of the date.
Very tricky! ?

I sometimes wonder if I made a mistake bringing my daughter's up to be so independent. They obviously ran with it and are both now independent young women with lives of their own. Whilst I'm constantly worrying about remembering everyone and everything they just get on with their lives and they obviously don't think it's a problem if they don't see me or forget something I feel is important. I think they have probably got it right but I agree, sometimes I also feel a little sad.

NanaandGrampy - I do so agree with you. But how do you fight it?
As in the thread about "like" and "dislike" buttons - I daren't post my views, I find the social media so distorted.
Ruthyo - we have a similar thing in our family - husband's own daughter never contacts him, but mine, his stepdaughter, always sends cards, rings regularly etc.
Having said that she was going to ring today and hasn't done. But she does have a busy life.

oh that is a dilemma * Ann* , puts my grumble to shame. I think you've made the right choice. He won't remember but I imagine in the moment could get upset about where his 'other' cards might be.

It was sweet of ex Dil but she wasn't to know. Maybe later , you should crack open the chocolates !! I think you deserve them .

That's so sad Tanith.My Mum remarried when I was 10 ( shocking divorce at the time) and from day one we called him Dad as directed by my Mum. I never really thought of him as such but I and my sister called him Dad all his life and treated him as such on special days and my children all recognised him as their granddad. Biology had nothing to do with it.

I always feel for OH on fathers day, he is stepfather and stepgrandfather to my 3 children and their offspring and has been for the last 20+ years but not one of them acknowledge him on fathers day, although he's been the only grandfather all our grandchildren have known really. He never mentions it of course but it must hurt a tiny bit as he never had children of his own so will never receive cards on this day.

know how you all feel and yes I do think social media has a lot to answer for!!

I have had a bit of a dilemma today but wouldn't have posted if this thread hadn't come up.
My D rang yesterday and said she was really sorry but after a stressful week she hadn't sent a card. She is up other eyes in a difficult situation at work and as the GC's father isn't around she didn't have to remind them.
I wasn't at all bothered as I knew H would not know it was Father's Day. I did ring S , who never makes a fuss anyway , and said don't bother with a card so that was ok.
After lunch he had gone a walk around the block and ex DiL turned up with a card and a big box of chocs from the GC.
I have put them in a cupboard until I decide what to do. His memory is such that he won't know what they are for and they could have been there since his birthday in March.
The card is more of a problem but I think I will just ignore it.
Sorry for your hurt NandG I hope he isn't upset.

well maybe I telepathically sent out vibes because both my girls have just facetimed Grampy and apologised for not bringing cards over and asked to visit tomorrow !

Better late than never :-)

It's the same here. My hubby has 3 grown up kids from his first marriage, not a card between them! But my daughter (his step daughter) has sent a card. It's always the same! Shocking! He says it doesn't bother him but I'm sure deep down he's hurt