Thank you GNs

Thank you Badenkate, pensionpat and florentina.

Badenkate You are entitled to feel strange with retiring, it is a very difficult time of your life and a lot of changes occur. And you do have to give yourself permission to enjoy your time now, you have earned it in spades, just do things which give you pleasure. I'm ok, I moan on at times because it gets too much but generally I am riding the waves of getting old, decrepit and bits falling off!

pensionpat I do think that society is very keen to label people these days, whatever the situation and aren't we all just humans trying to get by in the best way we can? I took offence at the post about Marmark1 needing a sick bucket because I said I would visit a naturist place. How rude when the person (?male or female) doesn't even know me.

florentina Thank you. I know, but I have to have my cervical biopsy re-done tomorrow as they didn't get enough cells last time so another wait now to see if everything is ok. Maybe that is why I am not too bothered this year about my birthday, there have been far more important things to focus on.

Have a wonderful birthday Rubylady. Onward and upward! ????

Ruby lady. You have summed it up labels don't matter. They just give people the opportunity to stereotype. We are all different.

Yes, although I retired 10 years ago we moved shortly afterwards to be near my son and DiL who were expecting their first baby. Then my daughter and SiL came back from New Zealand with their toddler, so it was straight into childminding as they produced five lovely GC between them.

The last one started school last September so I'm a bit like you Mildred inasmuch as my retirement proper started last September.

I love my sudoku and crosswords and of course reading, reading and more reading. Been feeling a touch guilty when sitting doing these but won't now.

But I do need to get out and meet new people so trying out a Pétanque Club tomorrow.

I love bridge after setting out to learn when I retired. It is addictive but I am rubbish at it! I enjoy the company of the U3A bridge group I play at. Its not cut throat as I gather some of the big clubs can be. We don't even score. I know that would be anathema to some though. I just find it satisfying to make my contract!
If you like logic you'd enjoy it kate especially if you find the right group for you.

Oh Ruby, I must sound very self-centred to you. I wish I could help in some way. Let us know what day your birthday is and we'll have a virtual party - and here's something to get us started

I'm afraid bridge would bring out my worst side mumofmadboys. I 'play it to win it' and I've heard what bridge can be like ?

So what do I call myself when I will probably never work again? I am only 52 (next week) but due to the health problems I have had to give up working but have not officially retired. Or am I retired ill? I don't consider myself unemployed because I am not able to work so would not be looking for a job.

If it is retirement, it's not what I planned. But hey ho. The most adventurous I get is doing a jigsaw puzzle! Yeah! For the first year I'm not particularly bothered about my birthday, which isn't like me at all. Maybe it's because I have to keep buying my own presents.

If you like logic problems you may enjoy bridge, Badenkate. Beware it is very addictive!!

Very interesting and enlightening thread, thank you for making me realise that i am still adjusting to retirement, I worked until I was 67 the last year only 2 days a week because I was minding my grandson for 3 days a week while my daughter returned to work. It was quite hard, I was exhausted and very organised because I had to be. I have been retired for 3 years this month and am only beginning to relax and take my time to do things. If I don't do it today there is, hopefully, tomorrow. My grandson starts school this September and my granddaughter will go to pre school, my daughter never went back to work after her daughter was born but I have fortunately been very involved in their lives. So I reckon my retirement proper starts in September.

My self image mutated I'd say. I thought I might feel that I'd lost it but it just changed and I felt and feel fine about it. I know others who don't feel the same way though and mourn their lost 'self' or status. So many of us are what we do I think (if you see what I mean)

Does any one else feel the loss of the "self importance" of ones position at work. I hasten to add not me, I was a SAHM who never went back but I do know people who were fairly high up in their profession who felt a loss of status when they retired. It is hard for some to adjust.

Thank you so much for all the advice and encouragement. I feel as if I've started my retirement again and this time I'm giving myself permission to do what I want to do and not try to fulfil my image of what retirement should be.
Please have one (or more) of these on me!

Good advice all round Kate, just take time to ponder and let your work life go. We get so used to rushing around and dealing with everything it's hard to stop. I think women in particular feel guilty taking time for themselves - don't.
As time goes on you will come across things you want to be involved with and find those you don't so in the meanwhile just smell the roses.

I also found retirement difficult to adjust to initially. I worked for eight years beyond my retirement date (I enjoyed the work and, luckily, my employer was happy for me to continue) and then I spent the next three years feeling I should be doing something “worthwhile” with my time and got involved in volunteering and other good works. I also used to feel guilty if my house wasn’t kept immaculate, because, after all, I had all day to do it now, didn’t I? About six months ago, I changed my attitude and, like wot, rather than thinking of myself as retired, I decided I was now on permanent holiday. It has made all the difference. Now I only do things that I really enjoy and have few unbreakable commitments; I am not a morning person, so feel no guilt at getting up very late if that’s what I feel like doing and, beyond the absolute basics, the housework gets done when I have nothing better to do (DH also does his bit). I waste time posting opinionated rubbish on various online forums and generally act more like an indolent teenager than a responsible old(ish) lady. And I’m just loving it!

I was also a frantic joiner/volunteer when I first retired. Now, after 5 years, I have pared down all my activities to the ones I REALLY enjoy and now have the time to please myself.

Kate I'm glad you have sorted yourself out.
I think there's too much pressure to conform to the stereotype of the 'active retired' and really it is a time of life when you should be free to make your own choices, although of course many older people's choice is greatly restricted by either their own illness or that of a partner, or even their partner's mad ideas of how retirement might be spent
I went to a pre-retirement seminar and the piece of advice that stuck in my mind was to avoid joining anything or making any commitments for at least six months, to give yourself chance to adjust to the 'new normal' and work out what you'd really like to do.

I spoil my retirement by keep thinking that something needs doing, like cleaning the Windows or 're decorating. I get on my own nerves!! But I have started to tell myself "you're on holiday!" And that helps somewhat. It might be a side effect of living in a tiny cottage and being a bit of a hoarder, because I never quite achieve the order I would like or feel other people would approve of.

breeze You are very wise.

Brilliant post, breeze...especially about "letting go"

Do whatever suits you kate however, you sometimes don't know if new experiences might be ones that suit you really well. When I retired I had a bit of structure based around voluntary work but lots of free time to just try new things or do nothing much. Then, suddenly, a whole new unexpected thing zoomed up (my book being published and resultant book related activities including book 2). I would never have dreamt of it happening.
Relax, enjoy doing what you fancy -mind you GN can be pretty time consuming. I'm very glad I found it though. Its a great community.

Good grief Roses I like my comfort (and having use of all my limbs) far too much to do mad stuff like that - although I think DH would be tempted!

Ah! brain stuff, that's alright, thought you were going to take up whitewater rafting,
Trekking through the Amazon, or bungee jumping ( or similar.)

Certainly am Tegan, looking forward to it!

I realised Roses that what I used to enjoy about my job was thinking about and solving problems. What I mean is that I used to teach English to adults, and it was how to present things in different ways, and how I could use film and music to teach English. I was also called the grammar queen where I worked and other teachers would ask me about unusual grammar structures - I didn't know any more than they did, but it was always fun to work out the answer. So what I like doing now is following interesting things on the internet, maybe doing some writing, and I love logic puzzles. Doesn't sound very exciting, I know, but it keeps my mind working and it means that DH and I have lots of interesting discussions!

I know just what you mean kate. I was a frantic joiner of things to begin with as I felt that was the done thing. I have continued with the activities I like (none of them sporting) and I make a point of never tying myself down to any sort of timetable that can't be changed. Also, I am as sociable or unsociable as I want to be.
Be yourself and be happy. Why not?
?