The Gransnet Olympics !

Any Gransnetters in this team?

www.ridtube.net/olympic-sun-lounger-dash

Do you mind Galen? I think that's mine

What sort of event is 'losing it?'
If it's what I think it is then I claim the gold medal.

Now not bow. I am losing it !

I now not bow.

The number of times I have heard the commentators say that one of our contestants had 'nailed it' I bow realise they are referring to the carpentry event.

We have a number of GN competitors banging away with their hammer and nails. They then move onto the hammer throwing event. Watch out this could become dangerous.

steady Galen we don't want GandTea needing more medication - he's had his maximum for today, tomorrow and Sunday already!!

I think that GT would prefer a 'dressing off' rather than a ' dressing down' from us!

Well I had my broomstick confiscated by the jobsworths at Leeds Bradford when it sparked off a major security alert, so will need to find a replacement. The closest I can get in my online phrasebook to "I would like to purchase a speedy broomstick please", is Diz-lhes para porem a minha vassoura a trabalhar, which apparently means "Tell them to fire up my broomstick". It sounds a bit dictatorial, but if I can find a handy band of willing Brazilian sorcerers' apprentices in the next few days I may be okay.

Isn't everyone oop north of Bournemouth ?

Don't believe a word those Brazilian ladies said (unless of course it was relating to my outstanding prowess)

Yes When a broomstick seems a good idea for those from Oop north (no offence meant).

I've opened the sealed envelopes gandTea and found some rather saucy messages from some Rio Sirens I trust you have been behaving yourself because otherwise I shall have to summon you to the GN Head Office for dressing down.

What sort of idiot do you take me for (answers in sealed envelopes please)

Please will someone explain to GandTea what sort of open top an open-topped bus has? I would hate to see him get it wrong and disgrace himself in public, and I know he's had a bit of a problem in the pool.

Surely we Northerners will just fly home from Bournemouth on our broomsticks, won't we, Maggiemaybe?

It's a much less graceful, but more strenuous event.
Unless you have been daft enough to let the water out, it will aid bath extraction process

Is that a separate event to the 'Getting out of the Bath' event (in which swimsuits must be worn)?

I expect new DGS was taking it all in and having an inwards chuckle

Are there
Any places vacant for the ' get out of being stuck in low garden chair ' event?
I'm definitely in practice, took darling daughter and dsil 10mins to extricate me last weekend. Much to the amusement of dgds. New dgs didn't comment ( 7days old)

Open top? Sounds a bit draughty, I'd best keep a couple of cardis and the long johns out of the big case. Will there be onward connections for Northern grans after the parade or do we need to get some Megabus tickets booked? We might get a discount for advance bulk purchase.

Thanks for your kind words Liaise.

Yes I am in for a bumper bonus from a chap who used to run/own BHS I suspect it will be a bit less than £5 Million.

If all goes whatsits up I have arranged for a budget airline to get us all back to Blighty, we land at Bournemouth Airport to what a I hope will be a grand reception, maybe even an open topped bus trip along the promenade. I hear that Ken Dodd will welcome us with his tickling sticks and tickets to his never ending shows.

The cheating crooks, how can they sell them for £5, they only gave me £1 ---- oops, shouldn't have said that.

Now then, you lovely lot, confess

which one of you has been selling the tickets for the Gransnet Olympics to touts - who then sell the tickets on for the inflated price of £5!

I suppose the culprit is not on here, and will never make themselves known

WIWYS, that's amazing, you posted your message the day before tomorrow and I got it the day after yesterday.

Hear hear! (If she gets £5 million will she pay all our fares back home?)

Thanks for your reassurance GandTea (I think...). I am going to enter for the "Oh knickers, I forgot to buy another birthday card in time to avoid the undignified run to the Post Office" event, which I suspect may have taken place last Thursday.

Charleygirl, are you not better qualified than most of us to do the Double Pole pole vault with your crutches? Go for it!

I tried to get this message through yesterday but my iPad has taken over. It hates me and dumps me all the time. I am waiting for it to come up with its latest excuse 'go and clean the bathrooms, kitchen floor etc. Instead of 'safari cannot connect to the Internet'.

i heard on the grape vine that Nankate is in line for a 5 million pound bonus for her heroic efforts organising the Gransnet Olympics. Not a lot by city banking standards but enough for a couple of days away. We athletes are all behind you Nankate. Sod the rest do something for yourself. It's been the best laugh all year!

Reluctantly I am having to bow out of the remaining competitions. I have a blue badge and questions have been asked about my athletics ability in one country when I can barely walk down the road in my own.

They fail to understand that when I do the high diving, my crutches are with me and have to come into the pool also as there is no other way.

The high jump is difficult, I cannot run up to the pole prior to my Fosbury Flop, I have to jump from standing beside it and I need 2 man help to get up after my jump. I cannot lose my badge so sorry, I bow out albeit ungracefully.

I'm a bit worried about this event I suspect it may involve Gold tomorrow and Gold yesterday!