How judgmental are you?

I never judge people by their life styles -ok, yes the windsors- but I don't care about colour, creed etc. I dislike people such as travellers being judge, I do believe in live and let live, don't care what people wear, if their house is clean or not, but it is difficult not to judge people by what they say, how does one not judge Donald Trump, or a person who lies

Penstemmon
I have been eating my peas the wrong way for years! and being judgmental about the way other people eat theirs

I'll still carry on scooping though

good point

Criticism can be an assessment of something or someone's opinions from a reasoned point of view.
Judging someone can be influenced by one's own pre-conceived ideas and prejudices.
And 'being' judgmental is different to 'judging' eg at Crufts etc!

I would say that people who are judgmental do not always express their opinions out loud.

Jalima look at this!! metro.co.uk/2016/07/10/weve-been-eating-peas-all-wrong-5998676/

I suppose being critical of someone/something without knowing full facts is equivalent to being judgemental. My mother was really strong on 'Never judge a book by its cover' and I was taught as a youngster to always to judge someone by how they treated you / your experience of them...not others' opinions! I think that was because she had met and married my dad! She lived in a provincial town and at a time when 'foreigners' were less common so when she met & fell in love with a foreigner I think she met a lot of judgemental attitudes! She learned to mix and make friends with a really wide range of people as a result of her own experience.

I don't know, is criticising the same as judging?

I am not so judgmental that I would discard a friend - or relative - because their politics were different to mine, unless, of course, they were overtly racist or expressing their opinions constantly and telling me mine are wrong.

NellieM you are supposed to use your fork as a scoop when eating peas
Just thought I'd say!
Even so, some always seem to escape and end up on the floor

I can be inwardly very judgemental -as a poster above says about relatively trivial things like weight,tardiness, neatness etc -but would not express it (except to my daughters or husband )
But I have become a lot more left wing and challenging as I get older and yes do judge people on things like their political opinions, thoughts on immigration,inequality , and would not choose as friends those whose attiitudes and opinions are very different from my own .So in that sense I freely admit to being overly critical. I dont mean I expect my friends to agree with me on everything -tbat would be boring-but that they share the same basic values is important.

Penstemmon These days I find I nearly always use my fork in my right hand and just use my knife to cut things. Apart from anything else life is too short to faff about trying to balance peas on the back of a fork.

Surely if you look at a fork the very shape of a fork it is obviously designed to hold it as a scoop so the food balances properly on it.

I judge arrogant people in big fast cars who drive up your exhaust pipe. Arrogance of any sort.

Too many years in social work has made me less judgemental about the sort of chaotic lives many of the more problematical people you come across. First walk a mile in someone else's shoes stuff. That does not mean that you should always trust some of these very damaged people but you can feel really sorry for them.

Jalima recently I have really been thinking about my attitude to use of cutlery as I realise that I have changed my established habits and often eat in a more 'American' way i.e. using a fork tines upward in my right hand. I had been strictly trained (at boarding school) on "correct use" of cutlery /table manners etc. so I am surprised at my change of habit!!

I know that I am judgemental about some things. I think the important thing is how much we let it show. I might think someone sounds really stupid or seeing a very fat young girl think what will she be like at my age but I don't say anything. On forums I try to be moderate and tactful but we all fail at that sometimes.

I have just realised that I am judgmental about people who hold their knives incorrectly ie like a pen.

It's probably silly nit-picking, but I do remember that, when I was single, if I ever went out with a boyfriend for a meal and he held his knife like that, he was soon on his way.

It probably doesn't matter in the scheme of things, I may have missed out on some lovely romances

I am judgemental..I think we all are. I also think that a person's political view is a bit of a pointer to their fundamental values or else they would not have come to the decision to support one party or another. That does not stop any individual behaving in 1-1 situations similarly i.e. being rude/ polite, kind/unkind etc. So if I think someone's fundamental values are very different to mine I would find it hard to become good pals with them but I personally would not be rude/unkind to them on a 1-1 situation. But I know people who do automatically behave that way to people whose lifestyle/values/religion/etc. is different to their own.

I think there's a difference between judging people for what they are/ look like and judging them for their opinions and actions. I know I jump to conclusions about people at times and try to fight against it. When I was a young teacher I said something once about tolerance etc. and my boss accused me of the sin of indifference!

I'm far less judgemental now, too, jenpax.

I think a lot of my judginess has originated in my own sense of insecurity. My mother was incredibly judgy, and I never felt good enough for her, no matter what I did, what I achieved or how I looked. I remember the constant put-downs, the nitpicking, the criticism and the minimising of achievement all too well. Especially the Sunday afternoon blackhead-squeezing sessions. . I developed an obsession with my looks, which has never gone away. I actually had quite good skin, never suffered with acne, and looking back, was a reasonably attractive young person, but I always felt so ugly and uncomfortable in my skin. Still do, to some extent.

I always remember my mother's comment that "I could be quite pretty if I tried" and vowed NEVER to say that to any child, as it left such a mark on me.

Actually I have found the opposite! In my 20's I was very judgemental and had strong views on what people should say or do, however I have had a lot of personal trauma in my life and learned the very hard way that judging other people is cruel! As you rarely know why they are behaving as they do. Lots of things influence the way we behave and the choices we make and when àll is said and done no one sets out to wreck their own lives! We don't always see the hidden effects of mental health issues for example which influence a persons behaviour or reactions. Also some people have a better start to life than others it's easy to judge someone's choices if yours are quite broad! So many people seen unwilling to try to walk in someone else's shoes and this leads to intolerance and judging.
I have become more left wing as I have got older and traditionally I understand it's usually the other way! But as I have seen real poverty and hugely challenging circumstances I now see just how tough some folk have things and that finger pointing and labelling just makes things worse. My view of the world now is about trying to help people I work for pro bono legal advice charity and I like to see people leaving our offices with more knowledge and power over their own circumstances. And where I can making a real difference to their prospects despite the cuts!
If I have any judging to do it's aimed at The Daily Mail and The Express who love to generalise and vilify vast sections of the population! They run hatred campaign against poor people and generalise on groups of people eg all single parents are feckless scroungers etc! I raised my own 3 daughters alone after their father became seriously ill and highly resented the slur on single mothers portraying us as a group of feckless scroungers who all just had children to bludge from the state or obtain a council house! My friend who was left single parent widow with 3 children also felt the same!

I am usually on time, though, so that's one point in my favour.
I always allow an extra half hour for my son and his family. I always say I'd never cook a souffle for them.

durhamjen.

According to my dictionary, it could be either, gettingonabit.
Pleased I don't live near you, though, I'd definitely be found wanting.

I'm terribly judgemental, but, oddly, not on forums (or, as my inner pedant informs me, should actually be fora..).

I reserve my judginess for real life, and to be fair I judge myself constantly too, so in a way I feel kinda justified...

I'm judgy about people's behaviour. And dress. And weight. And tidiness of their homes. And whether they're "looking their best". And lateness.

Shallow, moi?.

I must be really hard work.

I confess to not reading every single posting in this thread but I have read some of it and it just reminded me about a book I read during my studies and courses several times called 7 Habits if Highly Effective People (Covey) and it became my bible at work. One of the 7 habits was' seek first to understand and be understood' and I try and try with that - not always successfully but it would be a wonderful thing to achieve all the time do you think?

Of course I am judgmental, everyone is. The only time I object to people being judgmental is when someone else's judgements are different to mine!

I said before and say again - 'we are all judgemental' otherwise we'd hardly be alive! Just be careful and rein your judgements in depending on who you're talking to, otherwise the very best way of losing friends!

I'm finding DH is getting a bit like that too Daphne whereas I am the most reasonable person on the planet obvs!