An important memory

I've got my mum's wedding ring on and I never take it off! It has to be taped over if I have an operation. I remember dad giving it to mum one Christmas as they couldn't afford one when they got married straight after the war. He had wrapped it dozens of times until the parcel was quite large. That impressed me because he wasn't a demonstrative sort of man.

I also think it is a man thing. Keep your Mother's ring safe and maybe leave it to someone in the family who will do the same. I have worn my Mum's wedding ring since the day she died, I see that and I think of her. I do also think that if it was, say, a classic car handed down to a man then he would want to hang on to that and would get all defensive if anyone suggested selling that!

DH has just astonished me by giving me a very good piece of jewellery which he unsentimentally said would pay for a care home stay if needed! And when he bought my engagement ring he said if I ever had my bag stolen I could pawn my ring to get me home safely. In those days there were pawn shops . Caring comes in many disguises.

Jewellery has a habit of being the items most disputed after a death which is why it should always be formally left in a will to avoid any contretemps. Perhaps stipulating that if they are to be sold and not kept in the family they should revert back to the original estate is one way of ensuring that things are treasured.

I have often been on the receiving end of the odds and ends nobody wants and have become used to making the most of them.

I was given the wedding ring of my favourite aunt so I had a jeweller make it into a dress ring with our mutual birth stone put on it. It is very modern and very flattering to my hand and I just love it. I know she would have been pleased for me and I am delighted with it and the memory of the love with which the ring was originally given to her by a much loved uncle. It has been much admired and my sister says she likes it much more than the engagement ring which she fought for and won - and yet has never worn.

My great aunt died years ago when I was out of the country and on my return some time later my mother handed me an old box containing things which had belonged to the GA and told me that I could have anything I wanted as everyone else in the family had taken whatever they wanted already. It all looked very unpromising but there were one or two bits that looked interesting although very dirty and broken. So I cleaned them up and took them to a jewellers to be repaired and it turned out that one piece was 18ct gold with a very good quality central diamond and the ladies' fob watch was working well and looked amazing on a new chain I bought for it. When my father saw the items I had chosen and were now repaired he wanted them to be returned to him! My mother was brilliant, stood up for me and told him that I had only been given what everyone else had refused and they were mine for ever and in any case they were ladies' pieces which would look very odd on him! Men! I actually think it was only the monetary value which hit him as he just hadn't seen through the grot and I suppose he would have sold them.
They will be mine until DD inherits them or I give them to her myself! I know she will really appreciate them and no amount of money could buy anything which could mean half as much as these sort of things which have a history all their own.

I agree with others who have said that most men don't value things for sentimental reasons as (most) women do. So don't let it get you down Diddy.
I have a little case of knitting accessories (scissors, stitch counter, small double-ended needles and stitch holders) that my DMiL gave me just before she died. It has no monetary value but I really treasure it.

Gillybob!! Are you listening?? I remember stuff that you've written about your sister before, and if you would like that ring you should have it!

A sweeping statement here, but I don't think men usually have the same sentimental attachment to such items as women do. I think women value the back-story more.

Re medals being sold, it isn't always the family who sells them. My husband's family had their Army relative's medals stolen from their house, one of which was a Victoria Cross. Despite the family's efforts over the years, none has ever been traced.

kitty that ring would definitely get lost during the goings on at the nursing home, and I am a very upright and moral person but that just isn't right. Would she be the sort who would not accept it, saying it should stay in the family?

I think that is a typical male response Diddy. Try not to be hurt by it and just ignore it.

These things have nothing to do with their monetary value.

I have inherited some jewellery from an Aunt, and some of her diaries. I suspect the scrap value alone of the Jewels are quite a lot. But the diaries are absolutely priceless. Year after year day after day of a Cornish woman's life. They make wonderful reading.

Have a gold watch that was given to my father on his 18th birthday, the date is engraved on the back. It's now over 60 years old and still goes perfectly if I wind it. I would certainly never get rid of it. I also have his wedding ring, would have liked my DH to have worn it but it isn't big enough and I feel it would spoil it to have it altered. I treasure both. My sister had our mothers engagement ring, I assume she still has it.

Continue to treasure the ring and ignore anyone who suggests otherwise

I'm far too sentimental to part with anything which brings a departed loved one closer to me. I have my grandmother's engagement ring and my grandfather's wedding ring and these together with letters and poems written during WW1 will be passed on to future generations in the family. I just hope they value them as I do.

I've mentioned before that my Mum's ring is going to my brother's ex-fiance. He's been married to his wife for nearly 30 years.

My daughters are always bickering about who gets what - but in a light hearted way. I tell them I'm going to be buried in my jewellery.

I've never been interested in jewelry. I think my sister took her jewelry box, nothing very valuable.
What I do treasure is her address book. It's full of memories, and the way she crammed so much information onto one page is so reminiscent of her.
I have some letters that Dad wrote to us when he was away in WW2.

jane SNAP!

Family all fighting re who would get the one piece of valuable jewellry I had. Had being the operative word.

I am always sorry to see medals for sale. Especially the special ones for bravery. Sad that that persons memory doesn't seem to matter to their family any more or that they've just been forgotten

P'raps not philistine, perhaps, tho he may be!, just...unsentimental? Many are. Dunno why, but it happens and it's happened quite a bit in my family.

Me, tho, I take on the good thoughts and history of all the inherited jewellery, etc. I have, and, at an important meeting or something I go to when I feel I need than, I have them with me like a talisman.

diddy be gentle with yourself, but also be gentle with your partner. And, of course, choose where you want the ring to go eventually and get it written down. [smile_

I hope that your day gets better

I remember many years ago a dear aunt died very suddenly. After her death my uncle presented my mum with a few items of gold jewellery (a few chains, a watch, bracelets etc), me with a string of imitations pearls and my sister with a huge rock of a diamond ring (which was absolutely gorgeous and something I could never afford to own). Within days my sister had sold the ring and spent the money. My mum felt quite guilty (for me) and offered me the pieces she had been given, which I refused. Just after my mums death in April my dad mentioned my mums jewellery and my sister said "Oh can we share it out?" I was amazed and furious and said that it should stay in my mums jewellery box.

My mum had a very pretty engagement ring (something I have never had) and I would love to have it (to keep, wear and eventually pass on to my DD) but I would never argue over it with my sister.

Ana beat me to it. MEN. Take no notice he probably meant no harm. Just enjoy it.

Your partner is behaving like a philistine - or a cynic who "knows the price of everything and the value of nothing"

What on earth could you buy with the money that you would value as much?

Men (I'm assuming your partner is a man?) often don't feel the same sentimental attachment to things like jewellery that we women do. Try to rise above it and take comfort in the fact that someone in your family will cherish the ring as much as you do.

just make sure there is someone in the family you feel will love it as you do - otherwise you may find it will just be sold when you go and that would be awful. I wear my MILs ring at all times - my engagement ring was stolen and I adored my mil's - it is very unusual, not particularly valuable but I know she would be thrilled to know it is still be worn.

You are quite right Diddy I would never sell it either. Make sure to keep it somewhere safe, photographed and mentioned to the family as to your intentions and formally gifted in your will. In the meantime enjoy it and your memories.

When I was really broke, I sold a necklace my aunt had left me. I still regret it to this day! I'd say, don't sell it.......it's yours and your memories.