Christmas !

I had DD plus friends 8 in all staying one New Year admittedly they were all Married but I found it really heartwarming how grateful they were. They cleared up beautifully .

I feel that if trusted and a few ground rules put down should be fine!

We've often had complete strangers in our home - on houseswapping holidays within the uk and abroad. Never had any problem with it - except making our house clean and tidy enough for them to come!
I agree with others - it depends whether you feel you can trust your daughter and bf - without knowing them its difficult to know. I would certainly have let my daughter at that age!

I know my children would never bring friends they didn't trust to have respect for our house. If you trust your daughter, Glamdram, then it should be fine, even if she brings a dozen friends!

I totally agree with Synonamous here The original post is shrieking out that you don't trust your fully grown daughter who s not a 16 year old but 24 most of us had our own homes and families by that age
Secondly if it's about possessions lock them away I have one bedroom that locks so when I go away anything I don't want touched goes in there You can fit a lock in an hour on your bedroom door so it must be more than that
Thirdly if you had already made your mind up that's it's a step too far for you and your husband why do you need justification from others on here

No, definitely no. You are supposed to be having an enjoyable, relaxing break, it won't be if you are worrying about what is going on back at home. I would not want strangers in my house when I was absent.

As a starter I cannot understand why you are not taking your daughter with you for Christmas anyway particularly if she always spends Christmas with you. If I were her I would be feeling very hurt.
Is there some kind of history here I wonder?
If no history then this will probably affect the future much more than you realise. It says you don't trust her, her judgement or her sense of responsibility or her choice of friends - and probably a few other things too! You brought her up so whatever is it that you have failed to instil in your daughter that makes her so untrustworthy?
Are there so many things in your house that you cannot bear anyone to see or that you can't put somewhere securely out of the way?
Whether you realise it or not you are actually saying that your possessions are more important than your relationship with your daughter.
If I were you I would cancel the Christmas hotel and enjoy a family Christmas and then go off for a hotel break afterwards. Too much angst otherwise!

I think that this is your decision and that you've made it. You know your daughter and the friends she is likely to have, and if it would spoil your break then don't do it.
If you do weaken then insist on them sorting out the beds and laundry and not leaving the oven in a dirty state. Some housework and oven cleaning might just put them off anyway.

No, no and thrice no. I got terribly upset and asked for advice on this very website due to my husband agreeing to his grandson and one friend (who he thought was a boy) staying in a tent overnight in our garden. 11 youths turned up and no-one apart from me had the guts to say no.

It nearly ended in a divorce, due to the noise, the girls, the alcohol and the complaints from neighbours. The mother of the boy was unaware of the problems because my husband wouldn't let on. Please say no and don't even give a reason why.

If you have reservations about her, but letting her come anyways with BF, that's a big step and you have reasons for not just totally trusting her judgment to extend to friends that she may have no control over. Workmates? Friends from student days?

Some are mature at 24. Some are not mature at 42.

You know your daughter best...

Simple answer, NO.
We rented a furnished house once, my husband looked into the owners writing desk which contained private letters and much to my disgust read them. Some people just cannot help themselves. I learned to respect other people's privacy as a child when I realised my mother and aunts didn't give a damn.

I'm with the nay-sayers. The daughter and her boyfriend are family (well he's not quite there, but you know what I mean) and likely to respect both home and privacy. I came home to the gut wrenching wreck of my house some years ago when dd's 'friends' had let rip and ignored her pleas to behave or leave. Even without that horror story, it's not fair to make someone worry their way through a rare Christmas break that's meant to be a treat. Stick to your guns! The hangers on may be very nice, but this is not the time to have them come visit.

Agree with ExaltedWombat: more going on here than just the laundry angle. Has Glamdram had previous bad experiences with her daughter's friends? A 24 year old should be sufficiently mature to have like-minded friends and would not dream of bringing anyone who was not likely to respect another person's home.
I can see pros and cons; good to have the house occupied but appreciate unease at the thought of curious strangers going through their drawers.
Several friends use house sitters when they go away and use a free website i.e. these sitters have references from previous house sittings but are not from a commercial agency which vets and insures them. Consequently it is pot luck as to how genuine or careful they are.
I would not want just anyone taking over the house and pets - could come home to find the house cleared or items damaged /stolen.
Not really appropriate to the question under discussion, but another friend lets her house out over the summer , she clears all her precious personal items into an outside studio and locks it. She maintains it is a good way of de-cluttering and the house gets a thorough cleaning and the money is good. Not for me.
I am a bit on the fence here: total strangers a big no-no, but friends of a daughter whom you trust , then yes - but with strict proviso re: laundry and leaving things as they found them.
However, it is a very individual decision and if it would make you feel uncomfortable and not able to enjoy the Christmas break then the answer is NO.

Good grief! I wouldn't be happy having strangers in my house whilst I was away. They might find the bodies!

I wouldn't have the extra 2, I would ask that house is left as they found it! But must say I would like to say no!

This isn't really about washing a few sheets is it?

Unclench! You'll moan when she doesn't bring grandchildren round. And yes, it's safer to have people in from a burglary angle.

By the time she was 24 DD was a lot more housetrained and organised than me. We had moved into my late mother's house, but kept our council house on for a couple of weeks so that she and her friends could stay there over the weekend that she was getting married. We found the place was still standing after they all left.

Yes from me, in a heartbeat.
My son's friends all brought their own sleeping bags, btw. No washing sheets involved, the occasional towel but that's no hardship. No chandeliers were harmed, assuming they did actually swing from them .
Obviously, tho, you just don't welcome 'strangers' into your home and that's your prerogative, hope your child understands where you're coming fromWhy there's an assumption that because they're students they will riot and leave 'mess' I just don't know...

I wouldn't be happy about the extra two I didn't know.

Just ask her to bring their own bedding and towel- simple.

It would be a yes from me with all the provisos which have already been mentioned but DH would say NO he is less of a softie than me. Let them come but clear up all the mess and leave you a nice gift of wine etc.

My home is just that, MY home. My personal possessions would feel violated. I would imagine drawers being opened, letters read etc.
It would be a definite no from me.

It's not a question of trusting or not trusting though is it? It's that Glamdram would not enjoy her Christmas break knowing that not only her daughter but strangers are in her home doing who knows what.

Some people would be completely relaxed about that but Glamdram isn't and neither would I be. Do what feels right for you I say and do not feel guilty!

Daughter and boyfriend are one thing but unknown friends are quite another!

Thankyou for all suggestions