Offering someone your seat

I was standing on an underground train some three years ago when a woman and child of five or so boarded. Someone offered said woman her seat, which was gratefully accepted, and the child sat down. Mother and the donor of the seat, a woman in her 50s, remained standing! Had that been me I'd have asked for the seat back if mum couldn't put the child on her lap, though my impression is that this is rarely the case these days, I've no idea why.

I always gratefully accept an offer of a seat. When this first happened it did make me realise I look old! I do however offer my seat to someone who looks like they need it more than me - someone very elderly or with a leg in plaster. The issue is we can't see hidden disabilities.

You could look at it that way cherrytree but they didn't offer. Why did fit young men not offer a seat to a struggling young mum?

I don't understand lack of manners.

Pollengran maybe through good manners she didn't want to deprive you of your seat
If one of the men had offered she may well have taken it.

I am old, and I was sitting in a small viewing area watching my grandson at a class at the swimming baths, along with two young fathers the other day.

Along came a young mother with lots of bags and a tiny baby on her hips. She was watching her toddler when Dad was In the pool. I offered her my seat (the men didn't) but she refused.

I could see she was struggling and offered again, but she still refused.

It seems to me like good manners are interpreted as vulnerability and should be dismissed these days. I won't offer again.

lizzypopbottle your Charlie looks very much like my Travis. Is he black/white or liver/white? Sorry, off topic . I would always accept gratefully if offered a seat.

I'm 64, fit and well and would offer my seat to anyone I thought might need it be they old, young, male, female, able, disabled etc. If offered a seat by a polite person, young, old etc. etc. I'd take it with thanks. It can be embarrassing and demeaning to have your kind gesture rejected and you might think twice before risking again.

If I travel by train with my dog, Charlie, he prefers to be by the wall of the carriage. He will happily sit on anyone's feet in order to be by the wall.

Jayh, that happened to me to!!!?

A couple of years ago on busy trains to and from Wimbledon, young men sprang up to offer me their seat. I was grateful for the seat but secretly miffed that they thought I look like an old lady. ?

Love the letter in the OP!

I always accept graciously. I usually fall into said seat.

30 years of commuting with progressively bad mobility issues mean I would never decline a seat. I am profuse with my thanks and always say what a difference it makes to my journey.

Sadly , it's a dying thing in my opinion. I had to get progressively earlier and earlier trains to try and get a seat.

Many a time I would be on the 0615 ,with a carriage full of builders and workmen and I'd still be the only one standing with my stick!! They even sat in disabled seats and pretended to sleep to avoid actually seeing me!!

It's what made me retire early in the end , a seat coming and going (45mins each way) would have made all the difference.

Yes, accept graciously, a very well-mannered gesture. Our local bus into town goes via the hospital and there are usually (other) elderly people and those with obvious ailments who use it. We often see younger people offering their seats to those less able to stand. It is lovely to see.

Indeed, I would accept with gratitude and have done so on several occasions. On public transport in Rome last year, I was very well looked after.

I think you should always accept gracefully and, if you get the chance, thank them again before you, or they, get off.

A few years ago a friend and I got on a busy bus with all the seats taken. Two people offered my friend a seat and she declined so I said I would take one as I am 6 weeks older than her! I was secretly pleased that she had been offered and I hadn't!

it's when you think "I should offer that old person my seat" then you realise that they are probably younger than yourself

I certainly would.

You are probably correct 'accept it gracefully'. The offer is made by a decent human gesture of politeness, respect and kindness so respond equally with thanks.

His mother taught him well