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How to motivate......

(6 Posts)
MAX Thu 13-Oct-16 12:23:20

I moved from my home area 2 years ago to jointly buy a house with my partner. The house we've bought isn't right for us and we both agree on that but I seem to be the only one who wants to do something about it. We own the house but as we're retired we can't afford to spend a lot on a house move.........so I've suggested specific home improvements, which my partner seems to be in favour of. I've done the leg work and research on what we want to do but still he does nothing! This man was a builder with his own company for 40 years and knows people in the trade etc so you'd think it would be less of a challenge than for most people. His lack of interest amazes me. I didn't expect this!
Suggestions will be gratefully received.

vampirequeen Thu 13-Oct-16 12:50:39

I used to live near a builder who took 5 years to build a garage for his house. He said he did so much building during the week he couldn't be bothered with it as the weekend. Maybe that's the way your partner feels. Did it all his life. Doesn't want to do it in retirement.

Christinefrance Thu 13-Oct-16 12:52:52

The old adage about the cobbler's children being worst shod springs to mind. I have friends with family in the trade and they are the same. Get someone in to do the work.

fiorentina51 Thu 13-Oct-16 13:53:50

Good luck Max. My FIL was a builder too, in fact he built our house. His own house was a 1970's time warp however. 😏

grannyactivist Thu 13-Oct-16 16:06:50

MAX I suspect if you got some quotes from local builders to do the work then your husband will be galvanized into action. Money talks! smile

HildaW Thu 13-Oct-16 17:21:58

There are some.....not always men....who think, if they are not really keen on something, they can just nod encouragingly but not actually do anything so as to keep everything on an even keel. They live in hopes that the other party....not always a woman.....will exhaust themselves and eventually give up on the whole idea. Its usually the 'anything for a quiet life brigade'

My dear Mum was an artist at this.....mind you the ideas my Father had were often downright daft......he was always planning to emigrate somewhere but thankfully it never happened.