Social vertigo.

When I was much younger, out having lunch with my sister once, we were bothered a couple of times by a lunchtime imbiber who wanted to chat us up. he asked (the last time him came up to our table) what we did, as we 'seemed stuffy'. My imagination kicked in and I said ' I am a military policewoman and she's a psychiatric nurse'.

We werent, we were both civil servants, but it got rid of the botherer and gave us a good laugh. I think I remember correctly I used it about 2-3 times more.

I have never felt the urge to do anything untoward at these functions, mind you if I can possibly get out of attending then I will not go. I hardly drink, and I hate to see People becoming sillier by the minute as they imbibe.

Regarding being asked what i do for a living ( This has happened to me many times when on holiday). Jane 10 I don't think it a reasonable thing to ask someone. One could start a conversation with something like.." have you tried such and such a food from the buffet, or a comment on how nice the place is , or ask if they have travelled far, anything not too personal.

When I have been asked about my job, or anything else I consider inappropriate I simply reply that I do not discuss my personal life with strangers, That usually works in an instant

Love it Maggiemaybe!

Oh dear, job snobs, what a pain they are. Waiting in a airport queue once, I eavesdropped on overheard a conversation between two couples in front of me. One of the men was very proud that he was something important in the City and was condescending towards the other, who said he was a writer. "And have you written anything I might have heard of?", he asked, to which the answer was "Possibly", and then he launched straight back into tales of his financial wheelings and dealings. I was delighted when first class passengers were called and it was the jeans clad writer and his wife who took their leave and went forward. The other man's jaw actually dropped!

Giggling at funerals. It's awful, I can't help it, and I don't know why I do it.

Strangely enough, have never felt the urge to do anything inappropriate at social gatherings.....I don't drink much, and don't mind others chuntering on to me, that's what happens at these events.Most people ( especially men) are happy to have an audience, so I can just listen mainly.
On the 'what do you do?' Question, I don't mind that you have to start a conversation somewhere , though mainly now that we are retired, it's more 'where do you live?'

Legs55 I worked for the Inland Revenue for 35 years and always answered the question about where I worked truthfully. I then added "in the refund section" which reduced the anxiety of the questioner somewhat!

My window cleaner describes himself as a "Vision Technician"

As a stay-at-home mum, if someone asked me what I did, I'd say 'Whatever I darn well choose!'.

Was a nurse,fed up with blokes telling me how I could make them feel better I used to tell them I delivered milk for Porthill dairies!!

I don't tell jokes because if I start to tell one I get halfway through then forget the punchline.

Social vertigo?

I thought the OP would be about standing around at parties and feeling a bit lightheaded after not eating enough of the canapés and drinking one too many glasses of whatever is being offered

Legs55 'I work in the Civil Service' is always such a conversation stopper
There are so many variations in the Civil Service!

Stansgran - I have just 'spit out my tea' laughing at your cruise experience!!

If the cp!mpany I'd stuffy or my views are in the minority I love making controversial statements . livens things up.

When I was young and was asked what my father did I replied that he was an atomic physicist and was a director at AWRE Aldermaston (true). Now that really was a conversation stopper , it was the time of CND.

Who cares?

One of the most interesting characters I knew was a self-employed brickie. He won the Brain of Britain one year and used to take himself off on long two-month holidays to far-flung and exotic holidays, where there was almost inevitably some revolution or military coup during his stay.

If asked by people he didn't know well his reply could vary from 'I'm a brickie' to 'I work in the construction industry' to 'I'm a company director' (he had registered his business as a limited company) depending on whether he wanted to impress (unlikely) or shock (highly likely)

I used to work for a well known chemist chain and one of my jobs as a dispenser was to measure and fit surgical appliances.
I left to become a full time mum before finally training as a teacher many years later.
I now work part time in a museum and occasionally have to attend meetings. When asked the usual boring question, "Tell us a little something about yourself." I quite enjoy telling them that I am a trained surgical appliance fitter. ?

In Further Education, we were always referred to as lecturers even if we were doing much the same job as school teachers. It does sound so much more posh when someone asks me what my job was, but in practice I usually say I was a FE teacher.

Jane10 it's all very well being asked what you do but working for HMRC is always a bit of a conversation stopper I always said "I am a Civil Servant" & if asked further I would say "I worked for the Treasury".

Try to restrain myself in Social situations, no longer a drinker watching others is great fun

OK you people who seem to feel judged so often, how would you start up a conversation with someone you don't know? Asking someone what they do seems to be a reasonable opening conversational gambit which can open up conversation having found some point of interest. Its better than 'so who are you' or other more personal types of question. Don't be so paranoid that you assume you're being judged!

Like others I detest people who judge you by your job. After reading some of your comments I'm going to make up a few new ones up!

I've had many a strange look from people when I used to say ' When I was in the prison ' This had to be followed by worked as librarian at HMP so and so.

grannyknot I love the idea of you crawling up to the buffet table. the responses to being asked what you do are wonderful. I particularly enjoy telling people (usually Lady Golfers) I'm a Marxist and as I live in Toryland their faces are a picture. I have stopped the more bizarre things I used to do when I had had a few often involving men on dance floors - it was a long while ago.DH used to cart me home in silence!

I enjoy telling people that I work in a school. they always assume you are a teacher, then totally lose interest if you tell them you are a teaching assistant.

Love it!

It is even worse when you say you don't work. I didn't work after I had my children, well not outside of the home.
The reaction I got was amazing sometimes. I was once asked if I felt like a second class citizen.

It is amazing the different social response you get from people when you tell them your job. I got fed up with the response to mine so I would,in new situations, say I was a Chief Exec of a small business.